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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People arriving unannounced at your house

131 replies

SellMySoulForMoreSleep · 14/12/2019 17:36

I am wondering if AIBU but a neighbour knocked at my door this afternoon and asked herself and her daughter in. I hate this, my house is often messy and it was no different this afternoon as I was trying to sort some Christmas stuff. I couldn't say no because it was cold and they were waiting for someone with keys to arrive at their house plus I'm not that rude to refuse them.

Just for the record if this was a close friend or family they would be totally welcome.

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 14/12/2019 17:56

Some will disagree but personally I bloody hate people turning up unannounced and I think its rude. It's not hard to call and text beforehand to check it's a good time to come round!

I like to have a bit of notice so I can make sure I'm dressed, house is looking nice and I'm not in the middle of something.

Piplette · 14/12/2019 18:01

Generally I had visitors turning up unannounced with some exceptions. Sounds like they were locked out thought and only other option was waiting out in the cold and rain which is a totally different situation.

jamdhanihash · 14/12/2019 18:02

Yanbu to be privately a bit annoyed but you would be u to show it. It's freezing today and they're locked out. Good that you were neighbourly and let them in. She probably didn't like asking. I bet they don't give a toss about the state of your house.

confusedandemployed · 14/12/2019 18:02

I honestly couldn't give two tuppenny shits.

dudsville · 14/12/2019 18:04

This sounds like a unique scenario, people stuck out in the cold? Hosting events like that are different. Your house doesn't have to be ready, just pop the kettle on and, if you're occupied, the tv!

QueenWhatevs · 14/12/2019 18:04

The last time someone turned up at my house unexpectedly was 2006.

GrumpyHoonMain · 14/12/2019 18:07

Pretty sure nobody wants to go to a neighbour’s house like this - she only came to you because the alternative was staying out in the cold with her dd instead.

GrumpyHoonMain · 14/12/2019 18:07

Pretty sure nobody wants to go to a neighbour’s house like this - she only came to you because the alternative was staying out in the cold with her dd instead.

EmmaGellerGreen · 14/12/2019 18:07

So you would rather 2 other human beings stood in the cold waiting to be let in to their home, then invite them in? It’s not as if they were expecting to be fed, just to keep warm. Are people so devoid of compassion for others now?

BackforGood · 14/12/2019 18:08

Not exactly sure what you are asking if YABU about,

but it sounds as if they were locked out, and they (very sensibly and very normally IMO) asked a neighbour if they could wait inside out of the rain and cold? What on earth is unreasonable about that? Confused

From the title, I thought this was going to be one of the fortnightly "I hate people who pop in threads", but this is entirely different.

re you honestly saying you think they should have stood outside in the freezing cold wind / rain, rather than asking you for help ? Hmm

Xiaoxiong · 14/12/2019 18:10

Inviting themselves over for a natter for no reason and without an invitation? Or because they were locked out and freezing?

Nursing83 · 14/12/2019 18:13

I hate it when people turn up unannounced, 5 or 10 mins notice is all I need just to prepare myself.

However if they were locked out it's not a normal person just dropping by it was an emergency as they were locked out in the cold

MerchantOfVenom · 14/12/2019 18:13

I'm not a massive fan of the 'pop in' - although it doesn't send me into the descent of terror that it seems to send some MNers - but this wasn't a 'pop in'.

Confused
hoxtonbabe · 14/12/2019 18:18

I agree with @BackforGood

I thought the thread was about someone just popping up but it seems like it was because they had been locked out and whilst ordinarily I wouldn’t even open the door if the bell rings and I’m not expecting anyone, in this situation I would let them in and say “excuse the mess”

Apolloanddaphne · 14/12/2019 18:18

That is hardly a normal 'popping in' scenario is it? They were cold and locked out. Would you like them to have just stood outside and got colder?

sam221 · 14/12/2019 18:24

I completely understand, I hate people turning up at my house. Clearly in this case, things are slightly different as they were locked out.
I have been known to just not open the door, If its someone I do not like-as in certain family members. I have even had the housekeeper lie on my behalf!

HerRoyalNotness · 14/12/2019 18:27

My house is always a mess. I’ve got beyond feeling bad about it. Pop ins take me as I am.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 14/12/2019 18:29

My Butler just says "Lady MoatedGrange is not at home this afternoon" and visitors leave their calling card.

madcatladyforever · 14/12/2019 18:29

I don't mind usually I just hope I'm not in my onesie. The police came round the other evening and I had to invite them in wearing my onesie and curlers.
They were looking for a missing person. They did a great job of keeping a straight face.

Fireextinguished · 14/12/2019 18:30

I'm not keen on unannounced visitors these days but would happily accomadate someone in those circumstances!

CherryPavlova · 14/12/2019 18:34

I think if they are without a key then I think it’s incredibly inhospitable to not let them wait inside in the warm.

Jon6b · 14/12/2019 18:37

So they had locked themselves out in the cold and you did not want to ask them in to wait in the warm? You are not a nice person . . .

DragonontheWagon · 14/12/2019 18:39

If someone's locked out and the weather is dreadful outside then I'd welcome any of my neighbours in for a cuppa and a warm seat!

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 14/12/2019 18:49

YANBU.

Why didn't you just hand them a blanket or spare coats to wait outside in though?

OneDay10 · 14/12/2019 18:52

So she actually didnt pop in unannounced for a visit, she was locked out with her child and it was cold. It cost you nothing to be kind. You're a lovely person arent you. And then to whine about it too.

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