People arriving unannounced at your house

[SellMySoulForMoreSleep]

I am wondering if AIBU but a neighbour knocked at my door this afternoon and asked herself and her daughter in. I hate this, my house is often messy and it was no different this afternoon as I was trying to sort some Christmas stuff. I couldn't say no because it was cold and they were waiting for someone with keys to arrive at their house plus I'm not that rude to refuse them.

Just for the record if this was a close friend or family they would be totally welcome.

I just stand at the window and stare at people who present themselves uninvited

I always have a couple of seconds of "Oh no, it's a mess in here" then I really enjoy unexpected visitors.

I hate this, I feel uneasy with any visitors unless its close family. Even if planned, like a recent play date, I was anxious for the week before and during it and was relived when it was over!!! I do get a bit social anxiety though so its not so.....

We have a saying in our house..." take us as you find us....our door us always open and I'll always put the kettle on"
My hubby had to give up work 3 years ago due to health reasons and we've found out who our friends are. Those that come now are here because they want to see us....not because they want something.....😞

@UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye - you can't be serious ?? Everyone assumed you were being sarcastic, before @PixieDustt asked

@byefeliciabye Why would you put a grinning face after publishing what a nasty person you are ?

@BackforGood Uuh, it was a joke. That's why. Do lighten up.

Wow HeartsonACake - what a sad way to live your life.

BackforGood Oh really? How so?

Yabvvvu and very mean spirited!

Last time someone turned up at my house unexpectedly, I ended up in a cave with a dragon and returned home to find everyone in town had helped themselves to my stuff.

So YANBU.

YANBU. Anyone turning up unannounced at my house would be left on the doorstep. I don’t answer the door to anyone so I guess it’s up to them how long they want to wait 🤷‍♀️

A true mumsnetter ☹️

This is my worse nightmare... some days when I get in from work if I’ve had a hard day I put my pyjamas on and close all our shutters and if anyone (apart from my parents) knock them door it’s tough luck.. I ain’t in!

Yeah I can understand it makes you feel uncomfortable, I probably would too especially if I was busy and house was a medd. But if they were locked you view the unannounced visit as a one off..an emergency sort of. To complain after about hating people coming unannounced, for this reason..bit odd.

Seriously though, in this scenario, YABU.

On the other hand, the estate I lived on for a few years was rough as fuck, and I’d regularly have folk hammering on my door at all hours because they’d counted the houses wrong from the alley way and they actually wanted the weed dealer that lived next door but one to me, it was quite frightening at times as I was a lone parent, 2/3/4am having my door booted and randoms shouting.

I’m still in the habit of peering through the spy hole before answering if I’m not expecting anyone. But all my friends can rock up whenever they want. Most of my family can. Some I would tell to fuck off.

*mess

I think everyone just needs to accept and respect the fact that we are all different and deal with unexpected visitors differently. For some it is anxiety inducing to have someone knock without prior warning. Some come from countries were this isn't acceptable socially or from a safety perspective. I don't think it's right to shame the people that battle with uninvited guests or imply they are horrible people. Well done to the people who don't have a problem with it and it's ok to the people who do.

Jeez what do you folks that hate unexpected visitors do when the meter reader guy turns up?

Our friends/neighbours just walk in, with a shout 'its just me'. Actually dd2s best friend who lives next door always rings the bell and waits, drives me nuts.

The only visitors that annoy me are my dps, they never say when they're coming and live a 2 hour drive away. I'd like them to give me a wee bit notice.

I’d let them in without a thought and just say excuse the mess I’m in the middle of too many things ! I’d want any neighbour be be ready to help me too if I was locked out.
Other than this kind of scenario I always text neighbours to see if it’s a good time if I am popping round for some reason. Outside of emergency I don’t like unannounced visitors - winter is worse - I’m often in some form of lounging wear. Summer is different - I seem to be more presentable later and more up for socialising etc. Think I may be a bear !

@heartsonacake

How so?

Can't you even see how mean spirited and therefore isolating it is to not be able to help someone who is in a bit of a spot ? Are you that oblivious to other people's need for a little bit of help ?
Wouldn't you appreciate someone helping you if you got in a bit of difficulty ?

@byefeliciabye. Apologies then. Can't read tone or facial expression through type, and there are actual MNers who do think like that, so sorry I mistook you for one of them.

But your neighbour didn’t turn up unannounced, they invited themselves in... unannounced. I would definitely not give a shiny if they thought me rude when I made my excuses. You are not a waiting room. Are you ?

I hate it and won't open my door if I don't know in advance. My parents on the other hand love visitors just turning up.

I quite like an impromptu drop in! Our house is often a tip unless it’s planned entertaining but none of my friends are dicks so they don’t judge me on the state of my house. I think this obsession with projecting that we live in show homes is really bad for mental health. As long as people don’t mind taking us as they find us, following me around if I’m in the middle of cooking, or making their own tea if needed I’m all for it. Turn up at a meal time and you may even get fed!

Oh and regarding meter reader, they also need an appointment. I have had too many people knocking on my door claiming they are from my energy supplier and they haven't been at all.

Well I was being serious BackforGood, the neighbours wouldn't be cold with an extra coat on and the op wouldn't need to let them in.
I can't imagine they'd be waitng too long for a key.