People arriving unannounced at your house

[SellMySoulForMoreSleep]

I am wondering if AIBU but a neighbour knocked at my door this afternoon and asked herself and her daughter in. I hate this, my house is often messy and it was no different this afternoon as I was trying to sort some Christmas stuff. I couldn't say no because it was cold and they were waiting for someone with keys to arrive at their house plus I'm not that rude to refuse them.

Just for the record if this was a close friend or family they would be totally welcome.

They were locked out? I’d make them very welcome. Would you rather they stood and shivered outside? They didn’t deliberately plan to piss you off. Mumsnet is so weird.

I just don't bother answering if someone knocks unexpectedly. Everyone knows to text or call me before coming over.

The only exception is if I have taken in a neighbours parcel.

Billy Bob Thornton could arrive unannounced at my house anytime frankly. Other people? Not so much.

You never know when you might need them to return a favour. Be gracious.

You begrudge your neighbour stuck out in the cold somewhere warm to wait? Really?

I've made polite excuses and turned someone away who turned up unannounced when DD was still quite small. But then I find planned guests stressful enough.

They were locked out. Maybe you’ll need a favour one day and they will repay.

Jeez in these circumstances I would be happy to make a locked out neighbour a cup of tea and welcome them in from the cold. Why are people so selfish these days?

Why didn't you just hand them a blanket or spare coats to wait outside in though?

Please tell me this is a joke and no one would do this?

Yes you are.

They weren't there out of choice and needed help with an unexpected situation. Would you not appreciate if someone helped you?

I actually think if your house is such a state you dont want people in it because its embarrassing for you then you need to sort that out.

My house has days were it is like a bomb has gone of but I am a take me as you find me type of person.

If I wasnt my house wouldnt ever get into that state and would always visitor ready.

YANBU. Anyone turning up unannounced at my house would be left on the doorstep. I don’t answer the door to anyone so I guess it’s up to them how long they want to wait 🤷‍♀️

As I suspected, I need to be nicer and chill out a bit, it just made me really anxious and I didn't like it. Happy to accept IABU! I suspected as much and I will have a think about it!

Just for the record, They did come in and I did make them tea and I was welcoming. Her daughter is 28 btw, not little.

Hardly the same as a friend not giving notice. Don’t be so un-neighbourly. Jeez

I'm not sure I was in-neighbourly as such, I didn't like it but I was welcoming.

YABVVU

I don't allow popper inners at all. However, these people were locked out of their home!

Of course you should invite people in in that situation. I don't suppose they gave a fuck what your house looked like, why would they?

How can they not be ‘unannounced’. No one plans to lose their keys.

This thread reminds me of the HSBC advert that used to be on the telly a few years ago! People in rural Asian villages were looking at a big screen and couldn't understand why everyone in cities were rushing everywhere, not talking to anyone and spending the rest of their time on long train commutes or stuck in traffic jams! Then it would show the quite villages and communities where people were interacting and happy but poor. It's good to have a friendly relationship with your neighbours.

I hope your neighbour isn't on mumsnet, she probably hated having to ask. I mean this kindly as well but if the mess in your house gives you anxiety you need to do something about it, a good declutter might help!

Wow HeartsonACake - what a sad way to live your life.

You sound very mean spirited OP. They were in an unpleasant situation,
(their age is immaterial), and you are complaining that you had to put yourself out very slightly to help them. Get a grip on yourself and have a think about your priorities.

In general yes not reasonable given people can phone in advance. The OP describes a situation where it was probably reasonable, as I doubt many people have a neighbour's phone number.

So “asked herself and her daughter in” means “they were locked out in the cold and asked whether they could wait in your house until somebody turned up with spare keys”.

And you resent that? Christ.

I’ve read a number of threads where people whinge that their home is ‘their sanctuary’ and they couldn’t possibly countenance inviting neighbours in, which I think is pretty odd, but this is another level.

Why PixieDustt?

My house can be untidy mainly dh and adult son run business and i am not as able to keep it as neat and tidy as I would like owing to health issues.
Dh is always asking folk in , most are offered tea and the bathroom . .
It was a dreadful day how could you not be happy to have them in It was an emergency not a regular occurrence.
When I read this it makes me try to never have to rely on others or ask for help .