Law and order is hardly something the left doesn't believe in? I've not seen (except in the case of some truly corrupt unions in other countries) the left ever really saying they don't like law and order.
And I don't think I've ever met someone on the left who also didn't believe in social responsibility?
And fair taxation? I don't think I've met anyone on the left who advocates for unfair taxation?
These are hardly principles of Toryism or of anything. They are things I think everyone aims for, the question is what principle guides achieving those things? You've just listed a series of social goods that really everyone wants. You might as well have said being a Tory is about being happy. Well, yes, it is, in the same unlimited sense that being a human is about being happy. But so is being a labour voter. And literally every other person ever. It is good to know, but hardly informative or useful in this context.
Also your husband being a spendthrift ignores the fact that he can still purchase for himself what he wants more effectively than the state can, because he knows what he wants. For the state to purchase for him the same would cost a great deal more, because they have to pay someone to find out about his preferences, pay someone else to take his money off him, pay someone else to go and buy whatever he wants, and someone else to get it to him. I suppose they could pay just 1 person to do all 4 jobs, but then I suppose that might as well be you getting him Christmas presents. At least the state wouldn't have to pay then. But oh shit, now we've cut out the state it's more efficient again. I suppose we could have the state take his money via taxation, then give you a DH Christmas present tax rebate. But given as there is a cost involved in collecting taxes, it's still not going to be as efficient.
The very nature of a state apparatus is less efficient than people spending their own money. I was suggesting that it is a Tory principle that takes this (well accepted idea) and uses it to critique policy in line with a general mistrust of state overreach.