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AIBU?

To have cried!

496 replies

7dayslater · 13/12/2019 13:11

I'm 19. DS is 18 months.

I live with DP & DS. I work hard, I have 2 jobs. DP works too. So, no we don't just sit on our arses, but we still need UC help to pay the bills. I want(ed) to train and work in the NHS. I'm also interested in politics.

So yeah, when I woke up this morning and saw the election result I cried. Austerity is very real, it's not a joke or a fictional story. With the way it is right now, I cannot afford an education. I cannot afford to study for a career. I'm stuck where I am.

Sadder still, others have it far worse. There are children in poverty, a homelessness crisis, the NHS is crumbling when people need it more than ever. I can respect democracy. I can respect the vote. But I have to ask, for people like me - what now?Sad

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 13/12/2019 13:16

"With the way it is right now, I cannot afford an education."
But you had opportunity for an education up to the point you had your child? What do you now want to train in? Surely you could get benefits for going back to college? I'm not sure if Labour won; your choices would be any different.

midnightmisssuki · 13/12/2019 13:21

Did you study before you had your child? What did you study?

churchandstate · 13/12/2019 13:24

I get you, OP. Flowers

AllergicToAMop · 13/12/2019 13:24

You can get student loans for MANY courses including very part time ones from level 3 up. Labour would change nothing in your circumstances...

churchandstate · 13/12/2019 13:25

And can people be a bit kind, please? This poster is 19 with a toddler, and this morning may have been the first time she realised her fellow citizens can be such selfish shits.

Andysbestadventure · 13/12/2019 13:26

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churchandstate · 13/12/2019 13:26

Case in point.

Asthenia · 13/12/2019 13:27

I cried all night and I will be OK under this government. My heart is broken and goes out to everyone who will suffer and has been suffering. I’m going to find a way to help somehow.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 13/12/2019 13:27

Grants instead of loans would definitely have changed a lot of people's circumstances if Labour had been able to keep that manifesto pledge when they got in. A grant doesn't leave you in £50,000+ of debt.

Mintjulia · 13/12/2019 13:28

Your ds will be entitled to free childcare in 6 months time. Start planning now. Find a suitable course for September. Find a college with a crèche. Make it work somehow. Don't give up. Talk to family members, look at student loans.

It will pay dividends in the long run.

Londongirl86 · 13/12/2019 13:28

Hiya. Alot of people I know feel the same. I always vote. But this time I literally didn't believe in any party at all. I have felt for years now we could do with seeing if another party would fix some of the issues such as the NHS, food Bank issue, homelessness, school cut backs. Just seems the Tory's get back in everytime despite the fact they never seem to improve the things we care about.

I understand you about training. There's so much less now. 12 years ago when I was your age I was very interested bin a nursing career. I went to the open day at the local hospital. I needed to redo my maths and English so I went ahead and did that. They stopped the local nursing school not long after. The next nearest place was an hour away. I left my dream for the time being so I could learn to drive one day first. I failed my test three times and gave up.

When I had my first child in 2015 you could no longer have babies in the hospital in my town. They shut that in 2012. So I had my babies 45 minutes away. Had my second child in 2017 and they shut the a&e that year at night. The midwives lost most the floor at the hospital they had and they were shooved into a small room .


When you think back 30 years ago when my mum had me. There was a fully functioning hospital with everything, children's wards, a&e, nursing school, maternity and NICU.

It's alot harder to get a career in the NHS now or study etc. Don't dispair though you are 19 and have many years left to find yourself. X

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/12/2019 13:29

And can people be a bit kind, please?

She’s an adult, a parent, employed in two jobs, clearly capable and responsible and posting on AIBU. I’m sure the last thing she wants is to be patronised because of her age.

Lulualla · 13/12/2019 13:29

With one child, then what's stopping you? Your partner is in full time employment, you could continue one part time job and study. Lots of help with childcare available from uni, or do a distance learning course so you can fit it around your obligations.

There is literally ALWAYS a way out. You just need to put the effort it.

Waspnest · 13/12/2019 13:30

Churchandstate so you actually believe this poster's experience then?

churchandstate · 13/12/2019 13:31

AnneLovesGilbert

Sure, but when she got pregnant with her son she wasn’t, so people need to think before they berate a young woman for not making ‘better choices’, when they know fuck all about her life.

vikkimoog · 13/12/2019 13:31

why can't you carry on your education. Young parents at college/ uni get free childcare

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/benefits-you-can-claim-if-youre-studying-and-have-a-baby

7dayslater · 13/12/2019 13:31

Maybe not but Labour did give me a feeling of hope.

I have a Diploma in Creative Media. It was a 1 year course. I changed my mind in the summer about my career and enrolled for a triple science course. Unfortunately the college discontinued the course 3 weeks before the start of term - due to unforeseen circumstances. I was very disappointed, that's when I chose to work instead.

OP posts:
churchandstate · 13/12/2019 13:31

Waspnest

I see no reason not to?

Parky04 · 13/12/2019 13:33

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vikkimoog · 13/12/2019 13:33

right, so you chose to work? so why are you going on about training. can't you choose to do that instead?

PutTheBassInYourWalk · 13/12/2019 13:34

Wow, the comments on this thread show exactly what kind of people voted the Tories back in.

OP, YANBU to cry over the result. I am 37 weeks pregnant and both DH and I were sad this morning about the world we are bringing our child into.

Househunt1 · 13/12/2019 13:35

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heartsonacake · 13/12/2019 13:36

YABU. You need to live with the consequences of your decisions, not just blame politics because it’s an easy out.

You chose to have a child and you chose to give up education, so now you have to work with the situation you’re in.

AllergicToAMop · 13/12/2019 13:36

This is not about politics. If more people talked about personal responsibility maybe others would finally realise their lives are up to them in a majority of cases barring disability, illness, death and similar things.

Househunt1 · 13/12/2019 13:37

Andysbestadventure you're comment was also nasty!

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