To have cried!

[7dayslater]

I'm 19. DS is 18 months.

I live with DP & DS. I work hard, I have 2 jobs. DP works too. So, no we don't just sit on our arses, but we still need UC help to pay the bills. I want(ed) to train and work in the NHS. I'm also interested in politics.

So yeah, when I woke up this morning and saw the election result I cried. Austerity is very real, it's not a joke or a fictional story. With the way it is right now, I cannot afford an education. I cannot afford to study for a career. I'm stuck where I am.

Sadder still, others have it far worse. There are children in poverty, a homelessness crisis, the NHS is crumbling when people need it more than ever. I can respect democracy. I can respect the vote. But I have to ask, for people like me - what now?

what did you think would be different this morning? Even if Labour had won, I can't see any of their policies that would have been immediately implemented and made a difference to your life.

Hope.

Have you had a look at Modern Apprenticeships? www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/career-planning/study-and-training/apprenticeships-traineeships-and-cadet-schemes

YANBU to have cried. It's shit, but as a child of the 80s it seems to me that we're back to "normal" for the UK. Tory governments are unfortunately the norm.

*But to help those who really need it we need to stop giving out benefits and free this and that to everyone who has just decided it’s far too easy to sit at home or milk the system because they will get better paid in benefits.

Life is hard, providing for children is hard. It’s about time people learnt to WORK instead of moaning what they don’t get given.*

Boris? Brush your hair, eh?

OP, in the nicest possible way, a diploma in creative media is not going to get you very far - its the first half of a 2 year A level course, if you do the second year its equivalent to 3 A levels and around the same UCAS points as 3 Bs. My DD did do the second year in the same subject and as a result is at uni, she had 3 unconditional offers. So your comment is a bit like saying "doing A levels is not going to get you very far". Obviously the OP started the course with a plan.

BTW OP my other DD's level 3 course was cancelled after the first year as funding was withdrawn, leaving her with the option to do just the first year so she would have been in a very similar position to you. I completely understand how that happened (assuming your baby came along in the mix too).

@DishingOutDone Everything you have said.

I doubt the OP woke up one morning and decided to have a child. I am sure that her child is very, very loved and that the OP as a young mum wants to do the best for her child and herself and their future .
This forum is meant to be about supporting mums.
I feel very bleak this morning too OP. This lack of compassion that is entrenched around people is a reflection of our government.
There are options hidden away & when you’ve worked hard and got wherever you want to be please pass the encouragement and kindness along to another young mum who is a bit lost and needs support not judgement.
The fact you have the compassion and empathy means that you’re already streets ahead of the majority.
My advice take an evening set some goals, figure out how to reach them and if you can always save something . A fiver a weeks tenner more if you can, however little will help on more difficult days or can be put towards your studies.

There are some nasty people on here. OP I get exactly where you're coming from and I'm a lot older than you. I have felt depressed and anxious since brexit all started, the tories first got in and Trump was elected. Our world doesn't stand a chance.

@nopoli

Probably a good idea you don't have children, with that kind of attitude towards them.

God, this thread is making me feel sick.

@7dayslater don’t be disheartened. You can still do it. I started uni at 22 with an 18 month old. For most of my degree and post grad I was a single parent. It’s hard but it’s doable. I think either way the vote went would have been shit so I’d focus on making things happen despite the result.

@churchandstate Don’t waste your breath.
People don’t want to believe they are privileged & that others need a helping hand . This forum is rotten.

And I don’t believe there is one person on here who has never relied on people being kind, or just been fortunate in where the chips fell.

Me too @asthenia

Doesnt I understand the emotional impact. I was devastated by the result last night because it made me realise that parts of the UK have completely different values from me.But I don't understand the practical differences posters expected to see.

I'm sorry OP. Sorry that this country seems to be filled with 'I'm alright Jack' types, as evidenced by this thread.

YANBU OP. I’m not in the same situation as you but can sympathise.
I think it would be great, if we could, to try and demonstrate the change we want to see in the world and be kinder to people. Anyway we know how. What’s worse than the election result is how divided we are.
Do something kind - be kind to someone. Donate a shit load of food to a food bank or something, I don’t know. But we have got to try and neutralise this underlying feeling of hatred in our country all we are all fucked.

sauvignonblancplz

Grim, isn’t it?

@TheBlueStocking Ditto. Here’s where all the closet Tories are hiding.

It's time everyone took responsibility for their own life choices and stop expecting everything for free. It isn't the government's fault that people make poor life choices. Why should they be expected to pick up the pieces?

OP is 19. She has plenty of time and opportunities to change her career path. Everyone makes mistakes. Those with a mind to change their lives will.

Nobody wants to work, have the headache of funding child care, missing their childrens important events and then pay extra to allow others to stay home to care for their children, let alone pay again for education for people who didn't get it right the first time round. There are millions of people who didn't get it right. Why should the tax payer have to put it right? Probably 90% of people started off wrong and then chose a different path. It shouldnt be down to the government to keep paying for people's life choices.

I had my first child when I was your age. I decide against a medical career because I knew I wouldn’t be able to support my children on an NHS wage. I would suggest you think hard about what career path you take. A degree in economics/law/it and then into the service sector would be my suggestion.

It was always going to be hard for you to have a child young and when not yet financially very stable. I know several women who went back to (part time) education when their children went to school. It does really help in the long run to have a degree in something that pays well. Take care.

It’s so hard to put myself in the shoes of someone who thinks a 19 year old, a young adult with everything to live for and who knows how much potential, shouldn’t have the opportunity to revisit education. This person might be anything or do anything, given a very small amount of support. When we’re crying out for nurses and other staff in the NHS, this person wants to train in a vocation to help others.

I don't think the majority of posters are saying she doesn't have the opportunity. The reality is she chose to start a course that wouldn't have significantly increased her prospects and she chose have a child so young so revisiting education will involve a lot of sacrifice on her part. The government cannot be blamed for this in any way. It is her responsibility to provide for the family she chose to have and it isn't fair to make it seem like it is somehow their fault.

In her own words 'It's very hard to find another course within 3 weeks of term starting, most colleges are full by then'. I'm struggling to understand why OP waited until this late before finding a course if that's what she really wanted to do. The election outcome was not going to have any immediate consequence on the course she could have applied for.

As NHS staff, I see the effects of austerity on our health service and the vulnerable members of our society everyday. I am gutted at where we have ended up but I don't think this OP would have done any better with a different government. She needs to change her mindset and be prepared to sacrifice and work hard when she's ready to commit to education

You know what one of the horrible issues is for you as well OP? The national minimum wage for under 21's, it's disgusting.

You are a prime example that not all 'families' are over 25. Do you pay less gas and electric than someone that is over 25? Nope. Do you get money off your shop in asda because you're under 21? Nope. Do you get cheaper nappies because you're under 21? Nope. Why on earth are ADULTS getting paid peanuts!!!

It isn't the government's fault that people make poor life choices. Why should they be expected to pick up the pieces?

Because what the fuck are they for, otherwise?

OP I understand where your coming from, I left school early and didn't complete my A-Levels (hospitalised with anorexia), once I was able to i joined the NHS on a very low position and worked my way up. I then started to study for my LLB and then found out I was pregnant. I returned to study last year with the OU and changed my degree to a psych/crim one with help from student finance in the form of a parental maintenance grant and tuition fee loan.
look at your options with regards to funding as there are many avenues people are unaware of. I have found the OU terrific in restarting and continuing my education to work my way up in the NHS even more. i think they enrol both in Feb and Sept but in the meantime they have free access courses to get you back in the habit of studying and provide knowledge prior to embarking on a higher level of study www.open.ac.uk/courses/do-it/access

Good luck OP I understand how frustrating it can feel and please take no notice of the rude posters on here

Everything @sauvignonblancplz said. Not saying all posters disagreeing have had it completely handed to them on a silver platter but having even the slightest leg up makes all the difference. Circumstances are so different for different people.