To have cried!

[7dayslater]

I'm 19. DS is 18 months.

I live with DP & DS. I work hard, I have 2 jobs. DP works too. So, no we don't just sit on our arses, but we still need UC help to pay the bills. I want(ed) to train and work in the NHS. I'm also interested in politics.

So yeah, when I woke up this morning and saw the election result I cried. Austerity is very real, it's not a joke or a fictional story. With the way it is right now, I cannot afford an education. I cannot afford to study for a career. I'm stuck where I am.

Sadder still, others have it far worse. There are children in poverty, a homelessness crisis, the NHS is crumbling when people need it more than ever. I can respect democracy. I can respect the vote. But I have to ask, for people like me - what now?

I didn't expect my post to blow up like this, and such varied responses! To those of you who have been kind or helpful, thank you.

Of course I've explored my options. I know how it works. I come from a well-educated and creative family, you could say I'm the black sheep. So yes, I know it's not impossible for me to get an education. It'll just be hard.

I also didn't mean for this thread to entirely revolve around my personal situation.

I'm more concerned about the millions of people living in poverty in this country. I can see that something is wrong with the system. It's not just poor people making poor decisions. It's not 'free handouts' needed, it's help & support. Two very human things. Of the four million children living in poverty today - how many will still be impoverished in 30 years? There is a pattern and it's deeply unsettling.

Well said op.

Thestinkycheeseman

Private health insurance?
Don’t be so ridiculous.

You’ll ^never* cut through the skin with that.

What is so depressing is how many of the "cuntychop" posters (sorry, just using it as shorthand now) come from humble beginnings.

The guy I mentioned up thread who makes a huge amount of money, but is a big Labour supporter (which, again, I'm not) came from a really deprived area and this is why he wants to give back, he prefers to pay more tax etc and doesn't feel the need to be always focussing on his wallet and how to keep all his money to himself.

Really sad that others on here who have been as fortunate as he is and who have received lots of handouts and opportunities to get them there, seek to berate the communities they came from, just because they want the same thing. Really fucking sad.

Well said OP.
I would never have got my medical degree If it wasn’t for the help I received - not only the scholarship early on, but mostly the small acts of human kindness.
We must support each other.

There's a darn sight more help available to young mothers with babies needing childcare than when I had mine (under a Labour government) in the late 90s.
And every child in the UK nowadays has a fabulous education on tap for them (yes, despite the cuts and what you may read in the papers), and yet thousands of them don't appreciate it as they should.

@TheBlueStocking then you should know that you and you along are the one who pulls yourself up, brushes the shite off and moves forward. No point waiting for a some one to come and wave a magic wand because life just isn’t like that. I, along with many other posters are trying to help her see there is a way forward. Many of us seemed to have managed to improve our shit circumstances with no help. There is help out there for the op, she just has to look.

"The whole premise of the OP's thread was that because of the Tories and austerity she was being kept out of education. Well that's just plain bollocks."

@AllideasAndNoAction without knowing what area of education op is interested in you don't know it's 'plain bollocks'. Under the tories, some people can further their education and others can't. My fiancé works for the NHS, he saves lives. He wants to do more at uni to further his career but the tories do not see his work as important so he's 100% self-funded. Not everyone gets help and you don't know everyone's personal situation.

OP I'm 48. I have an 8 year old DD. I was recently diagnosed with severe arthritis. I'm fucked. I'm making plans for me and DD to escape this country. We would like to live in Spain. We try to speak of much of the language as we can. I'm half Welsh. Everyone hates the Welsh. I generally don't call out my fellow 'neighbours' when they dismiss me for being Welsh. But I think Little England is sadly alive and well.

And I've seen very few posts on this thread that are "vitriolic" and "cruel." People have offered practical common sense advice to the OP for how she could improve her own situation, but have been shot down in flames by people who think that saying "there, there, aren't the Tories cunts" is more helpful.

This cuntychops will use her private medical insurance

Let’s assume for a moment that you are in a good job, in a reasonable state of health, which is why you can afford private healthcare. What happens if you lose your job? What happens if you end up one of the poor people? Shall we just leave you in the street?

I'm sorry to hear you cried op. I didn't cry but was definitely upset. You have my sympathies

I'm half Welsh. Everyone hates the Welsh

No they don't

@MrsMerkin

Sorry, but that's absolutely bollocks. There's no way I'd be in the position I'm in today without a lot of support from the Labour government I grew up with. In no way could I have survived if I was nineteen and in the position I was then under this current government.

@AllergicToAMop
Personal responsibility doesn't dictate how much tax you pay or the opportunities for training you get. You may not think Labour would improve the economy but they have an ok record on improving life chances. The Tories have Nuffink.

It’s really hard OP. I emphasise. My education finished after GCSEs, I became serious ill and then became pregnant straight after I recovered.

My son lit a little fire in my belly and I juggled being a single parent, working and studying to be able to provide for him. I’m proud to say that I’m where I am career and income wise BECAUSE of him, not in spite of him.

I looked to join a professional body, and rather than go through expensive tuition providers, I purchased the books second hand and studied them independently... is something like that viable for you?

It is very hard to try to get going on training/career with a young baby rather than settling for a 'little job'. I think it is definitely possible but you have to be realistic and cut your coat according to your cloth.

I am talking from experience as I went into higher education later than most. In my case I worked 3 days a week and did an A level at the local college on the 4th day. Husband worked shifts and parents all worked to I kept my eye on the ball and did it the best way I could. I did the A level in one year and completed a second one the following year then applied for a full time uni course.
Now I did it later than you so my daughter was older when I started and I did the 3 days at work until I could manage the wrap around care. So one thing you could do is work towards more qualifications one day a week for a couple of years but if you don't fancy that I have another idea.

I used to teach kids doing A levels and we always asked them 'what do you want to do?' We did everything in our power to facilitate their preferences. I think what you need to do is ask yourself what is possible. How can I start on my ambitions with my baby.

This is one way, might not be exactly what you want but it worked for a young relative of mine. She applied to do a nursery nursing course at

a local nursery where she could also have her daughter. The course hours were shorter than the nursery hours so she was allowed to leave the baby there one afternoon while she studied. She then worked part time for a year as a qualified member of staff with free nursery for her child while she did an A level. This enabled her to go full time to university. She is now a fully qualified teacher in early years.
She said she could have missed out the year in nursery but appreciated the wrap around care
Now I'm going to be honest...teaching isn't exactly what she originally wanted but she thought it out by making a start. Now doing a part time degree in Law. Has no clue what she'll do with it or of she'll even finish it. Sorry this is so long ...but what I'm trying to say is try to think out of the box ...as people used to say back in the day...think about your circumstances and don't discount anything which will move you on in some way. Doesn't matter how long it takes you. Doesn't matter whether its what you originally wanted to do so long as its moving you forward. Good luck op. Its hard ...but sometimes the hardest part is making a start however small. Ignore the naysayers ...how many people don't wish they could change some things they did at 19. Come back here in a year and tell us what you did and what your next step is

Glad to see some kinder voices coming forward on this thread.

Really do wish you all the best, OP

People who voted Tory truly do show their colours don't they?
I feel you totally op, it's very hard and I understand exactly why you feel so disheartened.

Have had a further read, and want to thank & solidarity hug those of you who also feel this loss.

Some of you have commented some quite personal and rude things. I don't wish to retaliate, but I do want to make it known that my DS is the light of my life. I absolutely do not advocate teen pregnancy, but would never label somebody's DC a mistake.

To those of you who claim that everything is fair and good. Well, I hope you're right. At the moment, after 9 years of Tory leadership, I see an underfunded NHS, cuts to schools & youth provisions, a rise in poverty, food bank use, knife crime etc and a terribly divided country. If these issues start improving within the next 5 years - then that's great. Let's see. Maybe by then I'll be an MP.

@Moondancer73
I don’t think they have an option. Repeating that circumstances are all about personal choice and nothing to do with opportunities absolves them from any voting responsibility.

Very well said op. Those children that are in poverty and hardship now will not only suffer the impact of that now, but it will impact them detrimentally likely for the rest of their lives! (See the link I posted earlier if you haven’t already)

Kids who aren’t properly supported in childhood - especially with regards to health and education - have poorer outcomes for the rest of their lives and those outcomes impact on the next generation too and the next...

We’re STILL being harmed by thatchers policies ffs!

Op - i get what you’re saying about knowing how it works but honestly I got great advice and help applying for charitable grants from the student support service - charities I had never even heard of! You’d be surprised what sources of support there are, you’d also be surprised at organisations who don’t seem to have particularly charitable policies/activities but who have, almost secret, grants and interest free loans that they don’t advertise. It’s the knowledge of the “industry” that they have that can really make a difference.

A friend of mine I went to uni with that’s her job now, she works in student support helping to find support for students with disabilities like dyslexia or sight or hearing impairments. When she started she only knew the “official” stuff and was deferring much more to colleagues with more experience for the more obscure grants but now she’s been doing it a long time herself she is much more aware of what’s available.

And that might be less right wing than the FB frothers would have you believe.

I hope your are right.

But he is stallion a position where no-one could rein him in if he decided to take a particular course of action. And I don't think any one man, especially one who is a proven liar and self-server should have that much power.

Ha

And I don't think any one man, especially one who is a proven liar and self-server should have that much power

What if JC and Labour had a majority?