To have cried!

[7dayslater]

I'm 19. DS is 18 months.

I live with DP & DS. I work hard, I have 2 jobs. DP works too. So, no we don't just sit on our arses, but we still need UC help to pay the bills. I want(ed) to train and work in the NHS. I'm also interested in politics.

So yeah, when I woke up this morning and saw the election result I cried. Austerity is very real, it's not a joke or a fictional story. With the way it is right now, I cannot afford an education. I cannot afford to study for a career. I'm stuck where I am.

Sadder still, others have it far worse. There are children in poverty, a homelessness crisis, the NHS is crumbling when people need it more than ever. I can respect democracy. I can respect the vote. But I have to ask, for people like me - what now?

@TheBlueStocking Honestly I’m not here for you, I wrote a response for the op but as you have called me out I will respond one last time. You had help? Well good for you. I had none and if you want to bring politics into it this county was under Labour government when I was living in hell with no help support or care to me as an individual. So yes, it was me alone who changed my circumstances. Call bollarks all you want I’m now struggling to find a tiny fuck to give.

Yes, I can see how little you care from your previous posts. No need to reiterate it.

'If more people talked about personal responsibility maybe others would finally realise their lives are up to them in a majority of cases barring disability, illness, death and similar things.'

'Barring' some of the commonest things in life? Death is the one thing guaranteed for us all; illness is almost as universal; and disability commoner than often assumed.

I do think people should take personal responsibility - starting with the party leaders themselves, none of whom seem very keen to, and especially not the PM! - but sometimes 'life happens' and while people do need to work hard and make plans, these days there seem to be constant changes and the best-laid plans can often go up in smoke. 40 or 50 years ago, life was tougher for most people but also more predictable.

@MrsMerkin

You are lucky in some way. It wasn't all you love. That is guaranteed.

I am very lucky too. I am under no illusions that it was all me.

People are so blind to their own damn privilege. And no, I don't need to hear how you were born in a skip and the rest. At some point, you got lucky. A did I.

As did I*

I do think people should take personal responsibility - starting with the party leaders themselves, none of whom seem very keen to, and especially not the PM!

I've been wondering when someone would point this out. I find it ironic that so many people are telling the OP that she made bad choices by doing XYZ and needs to suck it up, the day after we've given Boris Johnson a massive majority. I mean the man has spent his whole adult life making awful decisions - lying, cheating and shagging around without taking responsibility - we know he has at least one kid who he has nothing to do with. And yet we reward him by making him PM. It seems like if you're rich you can make all the bad decisions you want, but heaven help you if you make a few wrong steps whilst poor.

"I absolutely do not advocate teen pregnancy, but would never label somebody's DC a mistake."

I would never say that either, but you must have realised when you elected to go ahead with your pregnancy at such a young age that it could cause problems for you career wise and that was a choice you made.

I hope going back into education works out for you.

OP, what would your ideal scenario be, given your existing constraints. What outcome are you looking for and how do you envisage making it happen? If you can’t envisage it happening, what would need to change such that you can get the outcome you’re looking for?
Sad as you may be, you may as well focus on what you can change and work towards it.

OP your final 2 replies are a lot more measured and thought out compared to your previous posts and I wholeheartedly agree with the worries for the future, particularly for the more vulnerable members of society.

@Graphista, if you reread my post, you will see I am completely behind the training of future staff, particularly those in the NHS and also fully advocate the reintroduction of bursary's for nurse and midwife tuition fees. However, all of us need to take responsibility for our decisions so if someone chooses to have children young, then they need to be prepared to make necessary sacrifices to get their education later if they choose to go down that path. They should still be entitled to government higher education funding - we should all have the same entitlement across our lifetime no matter when we choose to use it. Additionally, these individuals would need to make use of the available financial and childcare options that currently exist to allow them to access higher education, not expect someone else to magically fix it all for them

@CallmeAngelina I think your definition of vitriolic and cruel differs from most people.

Good grief the people on this thread harping on about life choices really don’t have a fucking clue.
I have 2 children.
Dc 1 healthy and very intelligent, he’s managed to pass the 11+ so will be off to grammar school next year where there’s plenty of money for good classrooms & state of the art facilities and loads of extra curricular activities available to him. It’s a massive head start in his life that’s had nothing to do with life choices.

Dc 2 has a life long health condition and a learning difficulty. She’ll be going to the local state school which is on the bones of its arse already due to lack of funding. She won’t get any state of the art anything, no decent modern classrooms, no extra curricular activities and fuck all support with her learning problems cause there’s no funding for teaching support staff.

She will not get a good educational outcome. She needs the NHS. She’ll grow up only able to get a shit job if she’s lucky, probably won’t be able to get health insurance because of her pre existing condition and will likely barely be able to scrape by.

Where are her life choices? Taken away by callous bastards and she’s only 9 years old.

A Labour government would have meant funding for support at school so she’d have a chance to do better. A functioning NHS so she can stay healthy and not need to pay health insurance, affordable or even free prescriptions for the medicine she needs every day for the rest of her life.

Again, where are her life choices?

I am sad that a party with more progressive policies didn't win, though I am not sure that the Labour Party deserved to win or that its manifesto was implementable in practice without suffering an economic decline (I work in a sector that gives me a bit of an insight into what companies and individuals would have done if a Corbyn victory had happened) that would ultimately have hurt ordinary people.

@7dayslater

It sounds as if you are doing an awesome job of caring for your child and I applaud your ambition to retrain in the NHS. Looking at some of the tory policies, there are a few bright lights on the horizon, so (assuming Brexit doesn't mess everything up):

• you should be receiving a cut of NI. Is there any possibility that you can save that amount in a bank account that you don't touch to assist with reducing your hours to take your science qualifications? It is not going to be a big amount, but every little helps

• once your DC is 3, you should get some free childcare - is there any chance that you could use some of these free hours to study for your science qualifications?

• once your DC is 5 and at school you could then be in a position to start some nursing training. The bad news is that fees will still be payable, but they are not payable up front and therefore you will have to fund them effectively from taxation of your salary once you qualify. Until you earn a decent salary, not much will be deducted and your costs will be written off eventually. Depending on the area you train in and the details of the policy, there may be a maintenance grant of up to £8k available - that is current Tory policy. To be honest, to meet immigration targets, they will have to train some more Uk based nurses, so I think bursaries for living costs are here to stay.

It is a more difficult road, yes. You are totally entitled to mourn it. BUT It may still be doable in your situation to retrain.

@SarahNade, Clearly. I think that the Labour supporters on MN (and elsewhere online) calling Tory supporters 'cunts' ranks as vitriolic, but you seem to think differently.

As there has been quite a bit of really gratuitous unpleasantness to someone who’s little more than a kid with a kid herself, repeatedly by one or two more posters then you’re surprised they’ve met with a negative reaction?

I’ve not read any Tory/Brexit etc posts, they’re not meant for me. What has shocked me over the last couple of days is the number of people who’ve come on posts like this to repeatedly antagonise, gloat & be incredibly unpleasant. What the hell are you getting out of it?

What has shocked me over the last couple of days is the number of people who’ve come on posts like this to repeatedly antagonise, gloat & be incredibly unpleasant. What the hell are you getting out of it?

These views have always been there - but for some, now we have a Tory government it gives them the mandate to be open about what they believe. They now know that a lot of other people think like they do (I.e hate poor people etc) and now don’t feel so ashamed of it!

But we have had a Tory government for years? I think some people are just nasty!

But we have had a Tory government for years? I think some people are just nasty!?

But not a Tory majority for a while. You're right though. Some people are just nasty.

In my trust you can start at band 2 and work through the courses . They will help you and put you through all of them inc open university.

Not sure if anybody will see this but I thought I'd post an update anyway.

After speaking to a friend who works in the NHS and trained when her DD was 2, I've decided to train as a midwife / nurse later in my life.

I think that studying using the OU suits our life (work, childcare etc) better whilst my DS is still so little. I begin a degree in politics, philosophy & economics (a PPE) on February 1st. I'm feeling much more positive about the future, so that's a good start. Wish me luck, I'll need it!

Good luck 7dayslater hope your OU course goes well, and all the best for you and your family's future!

Good luck and I hope all goes well. You’ll get there