Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want to divorce my DH over general election?

464 replies

SafferUpNorth · 13/12/2019 00:09

Feeling sick to the stomach at the predicted result. Have always assumed DH and I were roughly on the same page politically, but turns out he voted Tory 'because it's best for the economy' (WTF).

Just had a massive row... I actually cannot get him to acknowledge that by all indicators child poverty and food bank use have skyrocketed under the Tories and things will get even bleaker when the Uk 'gets Brexit done'. And let's not even mention climate change. I am terrified and DH thinks it's a great result. Is this where we part ways??

OP posts:
Marleyisme · 13/12/2019 07:43

Why do people think that food banks are a bad thing.

I grew up in a piss poor area I a single parent family. Mim often went to bed when we did because she coildnt afford the heating or had to choose between feeding us and herself. It was unusual.

This was under labour. Lots of families needed food banks then a food bank would have been welcomed by lots of us adults who grew up in poor families.

Provincialbelle · 13/12/2019 07:45

The Tories are an objectionable lot but Labour in this election were appalling. Their manifesto would have prompted a run on the pound and hyperinflation with all the borrowing, meaning the NHS would go bust trying to buy imported drugs and devices. Labour in 1974 claimed they’d costed their manifesto; by 1976 they needed a bailout from the IMF. Labour’s policy of confiscating 10% of listed companies and buying utilities at less than market value would have led to massive litigation under Art 1 of the First Protocol to the ECHR, which would have dragged for years and been ruinous. And so on.

Please may we now have a proper centre-left opposition.

tinierclanger · 13/12/2019 07:45

Why would you want to be married to someone who doesn’t share your values?

BeardedMum · 13/12/2019 07:45

Food banks is a bad thing because people should not need them. People should have the means to buy their own food.

Marleyisme · 13/12/2019 07:48

Food banks is a bad thing because people should not need them. People should have the means to buy their own food.

But we needed them during labour. Food banks shouldnt be needed. But pretending they werent needed before is not right.

Marleyisme · 13/12/2019 07:48

Why would you want to be married to someone who doesn’t share your values?

You can share values and disagree on who to vote for.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 13/12/2019 07:48

@BeardedMum then I'm sorry but the simple fact is people should learn to live within their means.

Aside from the elderly and disabled, unless you can afford not to work (ie inheritance/supported by a spouse) you should be at work.

Then money can be put in place for people who have been made redundant or similar, although companies should have to take more responsibility for their employees in these situations.

BeardedMum · 13/12/2019 07:51

Food banks and poverty has increased during the Tories and will continue to increase.

People in work also use food bank. You think poor people should just learn to live within their means? Nice Tory thinking proving my point right there!

motorcyclenumptiness · 13/12/2019 07:52

I think you confuse rich and hardworking
I think you conflate rich and hardworking

SarahH12 · 13/12/2019 07:53

I voted for YABU but actually I think you're not. I think you're being very controlling and over the top and your poor DH would be better off without you.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 13/12/2019 07:53

@BeardedMum yeah if you can't afford food your priorities need to change or you need to work more hours or get a better paid job.

There are exceptions where people unexpectedly find themselves as single parents or similar but for the most part, yes, people should be taking responsibility for themselves and using food banks as a last resort.

BeardedMum · 13/12/2019 07:54

That sort of attitude is exactly why we still have a Tory government. The feckless poor eh?

Skyejuly · 13/12/2019 07:55

Some people have no idea. You cant just change your job. Especially in areas there is no work. I work nhs if we all left that wouldnt be good.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 13/12/2019 07:55

YABU.

If you divorce you will need two separate houses and that's bad for the environment.

Talk about something nice and easy from now on, maybe invite your PILs over for Christmas?

Oohaye · 13/12/2019 07:55

Fuck sake. Do you hear yourselves? Couldn’t love a Tory? Wow. I wouldn’t want to associate with anyone who thought like that. Shameful. Get out of your echo chamber and look around you. You’re disgrace

GiveHerHellFromUs · 13/12/2019 07:56

@motorcyclenumptiness not at all. You're off your head.

I've told you I'm not rich. I do ok. I work hard and it pisses me off when I see how much more well off people on benefits are. And don't tell me that some people on benefits aren't better off than I am, because they are. I've seen it first hand.

BeardedMum · 13/12/2019 07:56

This is how Tories sleep at night. They don’t have to worry about people in poverty because it’s self inflicted. They just need to take a bit more responsibility and get a better paid job. Sorted!

TheReef · 13/12/2019 07:56

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one!

There's nothing wrong with a couple having differing opinions, it's when one party refuses to acknowledge that, and they insist theirs is right that problems arise. Politics, the same as religion, accept others faith or political party and everyone's a winner. try and force your opinion on others is only going to bring problems. That's why we vote. Otherwise we wouldn't have a democracy. OP yabvu.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 13/12/2019 07:57

@Skyejuly and for the most part, I agree that the NHS staff should be better paid.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 13/12/2019 07:57

Seriously, I do feel for you. I was a bit flippant in my post above.

Turned out my DH voted Leave and words were had and arguments raged for months.

butterpuffed · 13/12/2019 07:57

OP, does your DH also want a divorce due to your difference of opinion ? If so, you will be of the same opinion. Bit of a dilemma !

SmellMySmellbow · 13/12/2019 07:57

I couldn't stay married to someone with such a different set of ethics to my own. And if it's not due to basic moral compass but rather due to believing lies and what they read in the papers, I couldn't stay married to someone with such an astonishing absence of critical thinking ability.

Aquilla · 13/12/2019 07:57

Holy Christ 😂😂😂😂😂

Hurdygurdy24 · 13/12/2019 07:59

To all those saying they couldn’t marry a Tory.

You get that lots of people have voted conservative in this election who didn’t in the previous one? Are you seriously saying you would leave someone for looking at the overall political picture and making an informed decision?

Personally I would have a bigger issue being with someone who blindly votes labour (or conservative) simply because that’s a decision they made twenty years ago as to where to put their allegiance and who can’t bring themselves to even consider an alternative just because that is what they have always voted.

This isn’t like supporting a football team. The political landscape changes, the world around us changes and party’s policies change and evolve. To just blindly vote the same way each time and refuse to look at the alternatives or even consider other people’s opinions is pretty dim.

Blindly labelling all Tory voters as being the same is idiotic, in the same way as labelling all labour voters as the same is idiotic.

tinierclanger · 13/12/2019 07:59

You can share values and disagree on who to vote for.

Not as distinctly as Con/Labour. 20 years ago maybe but not now.

Swipe left for the next trending thread