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AIBU?

Inconsiderate Men on maternity ward!

526 replies

busylifebusywife · 11/12/2019 16:20

I've had a placenta abruption and I'm currently on bed rest on the maternity ward that women go to for induction and when the are poorly during pregnancy.

My hospital has new rules where partners can stay over night which is fine I don't really mind, what I do mind is that some of the men especially seem to be so inconsiderate! Having their mobiles going off on loud constantly playing there devices at full wack, getting there male friends to visit. Yesterday two guys in the cubical next to me decided to lift the curtain completely up and go underneath it exposing me and just laugh about it.

Now I'm not a midwife but I do know for a women's labour to progress nicely they need to feel secure and relaxed. How is this creating that environment?

I really don't mind male visitors or males staying on the ward over night I just wish they would be more courteous of others.

I'm starting to get really upset by it as I'm in a lot of pain and supposed to be on bed rest.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CAG12 · 11/12/2019 16:22

YANBU and id complain to the midwife in charge

Raspberrytruffle · 11/12/2019 16:23

Jeez I'd have raised the roof if it were me, when your in a vulnerable position last thing you need is to be treat like an attraction Xmas Angry

WhatshouldIdo123 · 11/12/2019 16:23

Did you complain when these men lifted your curtain? That is really crap.

WineGummyBear · 11/12/2019 16:24

YANBU.

At all.

AppleKatie · 11/12/2019 16:25

Yanbu at all. I’m sorry this is happening.

busylifebusywife · 11/12/2019 16:28

Yes I complained but the lady they were with decided to refuse induction and go home shortly after.

I have complained to the midwifes but they seem to just pussy foot around an say something like "I know it's boring in here but if you can turn it down a little that would be great"

Who needs there mobile phone on Loud in the hospital? I just thought it was common courtesy to put it on silent etc. I haven't even had my young children in to visit as I know they would be noisy and I don't think it's fair on women in early labour.

OP posts:
custardbear · 11/12/2019 16:28

Absolutely complain - loudly, that's disgusting behaviour!

Lowhum · 11/12/2019 16:31

Please keep complaining. It is not fair. You are the one recovering and need rest.

Jimmers · 11/12/2019 16:31

If the ward staff won’t do anything go to PALS. The staff could do something if they could be bothered ☹️

Cheesestrings123 · 11/12/2019 16:36

Yanbu. I gave birth a few weeks ago and stayed overnight on the ward. Both ladies in the beds either side of me had their partners staying the night, both were chronic snorers and seemed to sleep through the regular cries of their respective newborns being attended to by their mothers. Like it's not already hard enough to get some shut eye on the maternity ward. I don't understand why they had to stay if all they planned to do was sleep

Streamside · 11/12/2019 16:37

Awful and the last thread on this showed how upsetting these experiences are.Why do we pussyfoot around these people and not respect the privacy of others.

busylifebusywife · 11/12/2019 16:37

I just really don't feel well the last thing I want to do is have to complain to everyone. I'm just shocked people behave like this and needed a little vent 😭

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/12/2019 16:38

It infuriates me that men are permitted to stay over on maternity wards. Is there no where fucking sacred anymore?

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/12/2019 16:42

Vent away! Such a stressful time and hope you’re away from the tossers soon.

PlinkPlink · 11/12/2019 16:42

In these situations, I think you need to be quite pushy. As much as you can anyway when you're on bed rest. Or at least get someone to be pushy for you 😂

How dare they? I would have been so pissed off if someone did that with my curtain. I would have given them a right bollocking!

The wards are not there for their amusement. The wards are meant to be a safe place.

Definitely talk to the midwife in charge. Or find the most no-nonsense nurse you can. They'll do it well.

EstebanTheMagnificent · 11/12/2019 16:43

Complain LOUDLY to PALS from your bed. I’m opposed to male partners staying on maternity and postnatal wards but if they are permitted then they must observe some really basic expectations.

CAG12 · 11/12/2019 16:43

Did you complain to the staff or the midwife in charge?

Im a nurse, often people dont listen to us insignificant staff nurses. If its still happening ask to speak to the midwife in charge. Often things are solved with a little authority

Russell19 · 11/12/2019 16:48

Awful, but not all men are like this. My husband wouldn't dream of that. Tbh he would probably find it awful and say something too!

raisinseverywhere · 11/12/2019 16:49

Wow I had no idea this was a thing. No men allowed overnight on ward when I had my DC 15/20 years ago. What’s the point of all the arguments against mixed sex wards when men are allowed overnight onto a ward where women are at their most vulnerable.

After I gave birth I had to have lots of personal conversations with nurses about my breasts, vagina etc.

I wasn’t even allowed to leave my baby to go to the toilet, and had to take the cot with me! I would not have slept a wink knowing there were men walking around ward.

Is it just to help out the NHS due to lack of nurses to help at night?

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 11/12/2019 16:51

If e staff won't or can't, then you can and will:

"WILL THE MAN WITH THE OBNOXIOUS LOUD RINGTONE PLEASE TAKE IT OUTSIDE IMMEDIATELY"

dontalltalkatonce · 11/12/2019 16:53

YANBU. Complain, complain, complain! But people will tell you they must have and need the men there 24/7, so you're fighting a rising tide.

sarahjconnor · 11/12/2019 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALongHardWinter · 11/12/2019 16:56

What is it with men on maternity wards? Having seen several threads on MN over the past couple of years on this subject,I can only conclude that it seems to bring out the very worst in a lot of them.

LemonPrism · 11/12/2019 16:57

Shout at them.

'Some of us are very unwell right now and your phone/tablet is piss annoying. Put it on silent or get out'

A camping stove?!? Wtf that's dangerous

DobbyTheHouseElk · 11/12/2019 16:59

Disgraceful.

Complain to PALS. Understand you are probably too unwell to do this, but this is not right.

FFS why do we need men in wards? Snoring in a chair. I don’t understand how this isn’t a safeguarding issue. Especially as you say they peeped in on you. My anxiety would be terrible.

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