Inconsiderate Men on maternity ward!

[busylifebusywife]

I've had a placenta abruption and I'm currently on bed rest on the maternity ward that women go to for induction and when the are poorly during pregnancy.

My hospital has new rules where partners can stay over night which is fine I don't really mind, what I do mind is that some of the men especially seem to be so inconsiderate! Having their mobiles going off on loud constantly playing there devices at full wack, getting there male friends to visit. Yesterday two guys in the cubical next to me decided to lift the curtain completely up and go underneath it exposing me and just laugh about it.

Now I'm not a midwife but I do know for a women's labour to progress nicely they need to feel secure and relaxed. How is this creating that environment?

I really don't mind male visitors or males staying on the ward over night I just wish they would be more courteous of others.

I'm starting to get really upset by it as I'm in a lot of pain and supposed to be on bed rest.

AIBU?

Its shit, I'm not sure what the nurses and midwives can do though, yes they can ask them to stop being noisy or turn devices down but firstly they already dont have time to go for a wee or do their job properly, and the people doing that are thr people who will give them a load of abuse. If they refuse or say they will and won't, then what? I'm not sure they will call security for something like that. I would complain to the hospital though eg PALs, they should have a women only ward as well or proper partitions for women with partners staying.

I think you should complain to PALS at the hospital. This is really very important to stop it from happening to others.

The maternity ward should be a place of absolute safety and security.

Good grief! It sounds a very relaxed maternity ward!
I got told off for a whispering to another mum in the opposite bed during the early hours when I was in having one of my babies.

These men need a wake up call and are acting like little boys as opposed to father's to be!
The lack of respect they have is disgusting!

Needs to go back to strict visiting hours ,with matron to kick people out at the end .
How are women meant to recover with a steam of people in and out constantly

Toy need to complain, it's a disgrace that labouring women are stuck in effectively a mixed sex hostel overnight

Men do not belong on maternity wards. Ever.

at the two fellas lifting up the curtain!

You would have been well within your rights to tell them to piss off.

It should be partners only, not a congregation of 'mates'

Men should only be allowed to stay if it's a private room. On a ward is so inappropriate from any perspective. Yanbu. Keep complaining or be asked to move to a private room.

To be honest the other women can be just as bad. After I had my second DD I was moved to the postnatal ward. I'd been up most of previous night having lost my waters and post-birth I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep whilst DD2 was sleeping. The woman in the bed next to me was talking loudly on her phone for hours until late at night. The midwives did ask her to take the calls outside but it made bugger all difference. I think there should be a 'phones on silent / use devices with headphones only' rule in all hospital wards.

I do not believe that men should be allowed overnight on maternity wards, certainly not on shared wards with shared bathroom facilities.

I would complain loudly and at length.

@sarahjconnor hahaha that just helped my bad mood slightly. But what the fuck

And to a fucking camping stove!

So many selfish arses around these days. Bring back the scary matrons I say.

Partners are one thing, but friends? And shouldn't there be rules about devices?

I loathe male partners being allowed to stay in the mat ward. And I speak as someone who spent over a week on there with 2 babies after cs.

This is one of the few things that I like better about American medical care. I cannot fathom sharing a huge ward with other laboring/ postnatal women. And then to have all of these male visitors that are strangers to me spending the night too? I have much sympathy for you, OP. Complain, and keep complaining. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

The worst part about my emergency C-section was the fuckers visiting the ward with their entire family and street.

I was delighted to finally get home to peace and quiet with my colicky newborn

YANBU
Hope you're OK.

YANBU. When we were in for reduced movements, the guy with the woman in the cubicle next to us was watching an action film so loudly with no headphones while his partner was taken away for some tests. It was so loud our midwife couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat properly. What kind of entitled jackass watches a film in a communal ward for women who are having problems in pregnancy with no headphones? I feel angry just thinking about it now. DP was fizzing too.

I am a retired reg nurse/midwife
This sounds like a really stupid arrangement. tbh, I would complain to the chief nursing officer of th maternity unit, whatever her title, and also to the CEO of the hospital. This is stupid and inconsiderate behaviour,

I would also make it plain that I expect a response in writing.
Best wishes for a safe delivery

I’m all for allowing male partners on a maternity ward but that’s taking the piss. Complain to whoever is in charge just on the ward and go PALS.

Some people are just selfish and inconsiderate sadly

Omg I would have hit the fucking roof , OP!

FWIW I wouldn't have been able to cope without DP on the ward with me afterwards although I will say there is very strict rules for men staying on the ward in my local hospital including dress codes , not allowed to use any of the toilets (must go to main reception) and under no circumstances allowed to be wondering in the ward.

Not that any man should dream of acting an idiot in a maternity ward of all places.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz
It infuriates me that men are permitted to stay over on maternity wards. Is there no where fucking sacred anymore?
You do realise these woman are in early labour? Of course partners should be there.

That's awful but to be honest I don't think it's just men, that's the general public.

My maternity ward didn't allow men past certain times, so I had women facetiming them at all hours next to me. One woman was brought onto the ward at 1am, and because she was wide awake, felt it was completely appropriate to open the toilet door and have the light on in there so she had extra light to watch a movie on her phone the next day she had 20 visitors including 2 young toddlers running riot while their mum held the new baby etc.

Maternity wards are awful, awful places.

@Clymene
Men do not belong on maternity wards. Ever.
When women are in labour they do!

I just behaved as obnoxiously as back. I remember being in waiting rooms during prenatal appointments and men would be sitting whilst other pregnant women would arrive and need to stand. I quite happily told them to get off their arses and let the pregnant women sit down. I can't believe their partner's didn't tell them to stand up.

Same on the ward. Just speak up. Tell them to stop being such dicks.