DC15 wants to identify as female

[FrogInAHat23]

I'm still struggling to figure out how I feel about this, to be honest. DS (now DD?) wants to identify as female. They are 15. I fully subscribe to the 'do no harm' school of thinking, but it has raised so many questions for me. Saying they identify as female isn't hurting anyone (although there will be some close-minded individuals who are offended by that, which I don't think should be a barrier). However, what do I do if they say they want to use women's toilets or changing rooms (esp if a unisex version isn't available)? They identify as female (and is very effeminate, to be fair). We haven't discussed the whole sex change op situation yet, and I'm wary of bringing it up because I don't want to put ideas in their head (given the risks etc I'd rather they didn't!). DC has ASD and is very young (mentally) for their age. I've been buying them makeup and very feminine clothing, which they wear around the house. I had hoped it would just be a case of having a DS who was more feminine with feminine tastes, but it seems not.

I think my feeling is that, while DC has male genitalia then they ought to stick with unisex and mens changing rooms / toilets. I think. Argh.

What do you think? I know trans stuff is a hot topic at the moment, this isn't me trying to get a response from people. This is the genuine situation I find myself in currently!

I’m arguing that they are vulnerable because of forms of gendered oppression, discrimination and violence, and therefore it’s ironic that this discrimination is being perpetuated in the name of rights for women and girls.

I'd argue that it's ironic how though these male people affect to claim womanhood for themselves, they are listened to and their feelings respected considerably more than female people aka women and girls.

And if I, an actual biological woman, don’t know what being a woman ‘feels like’, how can someone who isn’t one know what it feels like?

They can't. Their claim to know is quasi religious woo. They can only know that they personally don't feel like they think a man should feel, not that they feel like a woman would feel.