Do women... 'give up driving'?? Is this sexist... Don't hear re men giving up driving.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Met with some old school pals that I'd not seen for years.... We met in large town ...
Everyone... (Apart from me) said they 'no longer drove'... They all live in small market towns and still work...we all got our licenses late teens...

So... Is this unusual 5 women... 4 had not driven 'for years'...
I was a bit flabberghasted...they're all feminists /workers....

My mum is in her seventies and has recently, very reluctantly, had to give up driving as she is losing her sight to macular degeneration. She finds the lack of independence incredibly frustrating and although I know rationally that there's no connection at all it makes me feel a bit sad to think of perfectly healthy women in their forties casually giving up a skill which she would give anything still to have.

Because they are scared. Bit pathetic in my opinion.

Why is it pathetic to be scared of something where you could kill people? I think it’s perfectly sensible. If you know you are going to be unsafe why force yourself? To fulfill other people’s arbitrary agenda of what constitutes a normal person? Fuck that.

With me I am out of practice because I have no reason to drive anywhere. Dh loves driving and looks forward to doing it at the weekend as he commutes on trains in the week. Everything I need is within a 10 minute walk away at the moment. It seems silly and wasteful to take the car out for a drive and then there is the terror of my 3 year old falling asleep and not sleeping at night so car journeys even at weekends are well timed or avoided.

The last time I drove with Dh in the car I actually pulled over and we swapped because he was being such a monumental bellend.

What age are they?

A lot of my mother's friends (well, those that are still alive) don't drive any more because they always let their husband drive once they got married, it seems to have been a cultural thing that the man drives which is obviously ridiculous but it is how it was in their generation.
Then the husband dies, the woman can't drive because she hasn't done it for 40-50 years and she's socially isolated. It's a big mistake.

I think that's why you hear of more women not driving because some still cling to this cultural throwback to the past.

My sister in law gave up driving as soon as she passed her test. She literally hasn’t driven since the day she got her license and gets ferried about everywhere by her husband.

She just never felt comfortable driving which I suppose is fair enough but it took her SEVEN attempts to pass her test. Why bother with all that if you are literally never going to drive again.

Icebear- I passed on my fifth attempt (In an automatic) and was learning on and off for 18 years!! I suppose I thought I’d get better/more confident but I didn’t. I just absolutely hate it. But I am glad I can do it and it’s there if I need it. According to all but my Dh I’m actually a really good driver, I have good spatial awareness so can do manoeuvres and city driving (I originally learned in London) And I drive a big 7seater. I just hate going over 60 and driving in the country because everyone else drives too fast on blind bends. I like London driving.

Honestly people round here drive like lunatics. And there is lots of drink driving and fatalities. Just today at the pelican crossing 2 vans went thru while the green man was saying it was safe for me and the buggy to cross. No one gives a shit. About 50% bother to indicate. The roundabouts are like a gladiatorial hippodrome (possible slight exaggeration there for comic effect).

I don't know anyone who has given up driving altogether except when there have been medical reasons, usually eyesight related.

However I know a lot of couples where it is always the man who drives when they go out as a couple/family, especially for long journeys/abroad.

In our family it's the other way round. My husband hasn't given up altogether, but for the last 20 years he has very rarely driven. I do the vast majority and if I don't go he is more likely to be driven by one of the girls than he is to drive them.

As a result, I think I am much more confident as a driver than some other women I know who only do the local running around. For example, I know some women who won't drive abroad.

“The last time I drove with Dh in the car I actually pulled over and we swapped because he was being such a monumental ”

That’s where the real sexism is.

Many posters in this thread citing men’s behaviour as passengers.

I too would have pulled over.... and kicked him out, rather than let him drive.

I guess it's not necessarily a decision you make as such. I was a non driver for 6 years in my 20s because I just didn't need a car to get to work and generally made do without.
When I changed jobs and public transport wasn't an (easy) option anymore I bought a car and paid for a couple of lessons. I was still a nervous wreck until it became comfortable again.
I couldn't imagine not having my car now, even though I probably don't need it.
The less one drives the less comfortable one is with it.

Mid forties, will never give up my car unless I have to do so in old age. We live rurally and if I end up alone one day, I don't want to feel isolated.

I love driving and pretty much always volunteer insist on driving when DH and I go anywhere. On long journeys, we share the driving.

I don't know how common it is, but for a couple that travel to most places together, I can easily see one person - and it's more likely to be the man - doing the driving more often. Which means they build experience and confidence, while their partner gets out of practice and is likely to lose confidence as a result, thus entrenching the situation.

I'd guess less common nowadays than it used to be. More families have both people working.

Just thinking about this in relation to age. I had five women friends round last Friday for a pre-Christmas get together. Our ages range from 59 to 69. Every one of us drives frequently and considerable distances including the four with husbands. Non-driving women are an alien concept in my friendship group.

@xChristmasJumperx the OP is talking about friends who are part of a couple with a car though, who have chosen to let their OH drive them around.
She isn't talking about a group of people who have considered the planet and made a "green" decision not to use a car.
In fact, if you are having to be dropped off and then picked up from places rather than just driving there yourself, you are potentially doing twice the miles as I was only thinking last week when dropping dd off somewhere, when I'd expected her to have passed her test by now.

When we first got married, DH couldn't drive. We had to get a cab to hospital when I was in labour. We lived in city centre then so he could easily use public transport. When we decided to move outside the city, he cracked on and passed his test but I was used to being the driver then so we never really fell in to the man being the driver default. Now if we go out for the day somewhere, we will ask who is driving. Often he'll do one way and I'll do the other. He prefers his car as it has all mod cons, heated this and automatic that! I can't imagine not driving. I did let him do all the driving in the USA though, I really didn't fancy the I4 in Florida!