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Original poster

Do women... 'give up driving'?? Is this sexist... Don't hear re men giving up driving.

163 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/12/2019 20:07

Met with some old school pals that I'd not seen for years.... We met in large town ...
Everyone... (Apart from me) said they 'no longer drove'... They all live in small market towns and still work...we all got our licenses late teens...

So... Is this unusual 5 women... 4 had not driven 'for years'...
I was a bit flabberghasted...they're all feminists /workers....

OP posts:
Iala3 · 09/12/2019 21:42

I think it's common for women to be driven around on the weekend, evening etc. But if the DH isn't available then obviously they can still and will drive themselves. Very odd to completely give up.

CactusAndCacti · 09/12/2019 21:43

I don't get the 'his car / her car' thing.

For the first 13 years of our marriage we had our own cars - I can only drive an auto, so couldn't drive his manual and he always found mine too small to drive comfortably.

A change in circumstances meant we changed his car for another auto and I drive 'his' car and he drives 'mine' (we are the main driver on each others insurance) - He does the most long distance driving and driving at weekends, he prefers to be in the drivers seat and I drive 300 miles a week so quite happy to let him drive.

My Mum learnt to drive in the 60's, but never really liked doing so and soon stopped, my Dad never managed to pass his test. They live in the suburbs, on good bus routes and easily get to a main railway hub. The hospital and town centre are within an easy walking distance and they have a little local supermarket a few minutes away. They have just managed. My Dad originally cycled to work and then after redundancy and a change of career he travelled by bus - it did limit his choice of jobs a little though.

CalleighDoodle · 09/12/2019 21:46

I only drive one day a week. Me and dh commute together. I hate driving. And driving in the dark gives me headaches.

My mum stopped driving when my dad retired and he started to drive her everywhere. She never goes anywhere without him. And she hasnt actually been fit to drive in a good 6 years.

If people dont like driving and want to stop, that’s their choice.

mrshectic · 09/12/2019 21:50

My Mum is always the driver and my Dad only drives if my Mum isn’t around Grin! But, she is a terrible passenger, lmao

bluebeck · 09/12/2019 21:55

This doesn't make sense.

You say these women live in small market towns, all work, and no longer drive because they expect their husbands/whatever to drive them everywhere?

How do they get to work? Get places when their DH is at work?

If they are happy to rely on public transport rather than drive then good for them,it's a good strategy for the environment and financially for many. I can't see how it is sexist to be honest Confused I know plenty of people, male and female who quit driving for a variety of reasons.

TheWashingMachine · 09/12/2019 21:57

I love driving, the freedom is delicious and yes, I live in London but it's still awesome.

Undercoverworker06 · 09/12/2019 21:57

I really don't like driving, and as I've got older I like it less and less.
I'm forever running round after elderly parents, grown up children, their children etc. Fair enough I don't have to, I want to because I love them and want to help them but I often think that if I didn't drive they wouldn't ask me!
My husband drives when we go out, unless he wants a drink. He drives for a living so he's used to it.
I don't mind if someone's with me but if I'm on my own and going to a place I've not been to before, I tend to get a bit panicky as I always get lost and I hate it.
Funnily enough, we were talking about this at work the other week. The majority of people who never learned to drive are older than me ( late 50's) but nearly everyone I know younger than me can drive.
I think if you never learned you'd never miss what you didn't have, but would I miss it now? Genuinely don't know.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 09/12/2019 21:58

I'm in my late 20s I only drive if I really have to, if we go anywhere dh drives. Mainly because he enjoys driving, I couldn't care less, and our dog settles better on my lap (he's strapped in too, just sits on my lap)

darkriver19886 · 09/12/2019 21:59

My mum did. She was terrified of long distances and in the end, retired her car. She turned 50 this year.

SleeplessWB · 09/12/2019 22:00

My MIL gave up driving about 20 years ago in her late 40s. FIL drives her everywhere - she never goes anywhere on her own which I find truly bizarre.

MsRomanoff · 09/12/2019 22:01

So how do these women get to work, get the kids to school, go do things when their husbands arent there.

I suspect they work have everything close proximity so donr need to drive.

WineOrGinOrBoth · 09/12/2019 22:17

I do most of the family driving around town. I’m a terrible passenger.

We share the motorway driving if over 200 miles. If less one will usually drive there & another on the return.

StealthPolarBear · 09/12/2019 22:18

Oh dear

AgeLikeWine · 09/12/2019 22:25

Your friends are odd, OP. I’m in my 40s and I don’t know any women under 70 who have given up driving.

I know plenty of women who drive lorries and big 4x4s and use them to transport horses all over the country, though. How else are you supposed to get your show jumper or eventer to the competition? Confused

IfNot · 09/12/2019 22:25

I think that, male or female, if your not confident or happy driving then often it is much more sensible to admit it and give up rather than carry on anyway

^x2

XXcstatic · 09/12/2019 22:30

I get why people choose not to have a car, if they have access to good public transport, but I think anyone who totally gives up driving, other than for health reasons (mental or physical) is foolish. I have a medical condition that means I am sometimes not able to drive for months at a time. It is really limiting (except in London). When I am able to drive, I cherish the independence it gives - DH has no chance of getting behind the wheel Grin

Awrite · 09/12/2019 22:30

My Mum gave up driving due to failing eyesight. In her 60's. Actually, I think she drove for longer than she should have.

My dh's gran should have given up years ago. I refuse to let the kids be driven by her.

My Dad won't drive at night. He has said he's going to be realistic about giving up when he feels it is no longer safe. He's just shy of 70.

PineappleDanish · 09/12/2019 22:33

MiIL gave up But she was in her 60s. She was never a confident driver and FIL pointed out her failings at every opportunity. When he retired they went down to one car, they never go anywhere separately and she hasn't driven in about 15 years.

Majorcollywobble · 09/12/2019 22:39

I had an eye operation and of necessity couldn’t drive for 6 weeks . First time in 60 and I thought I’d hate it .
Shanks’s pony and buses were fine .
Shopping however entailed husband coming with me . Complete bonus as he found he enjoyed it . One job less for yours Still enjoy driving on long journeys.

TildaKauskumholm · 09/12/2019 22:45

I would like to not drive if there was good public transport, but sadly none where I live. I did give up for 10 years when I lived abroad, as the traffic was bonkers, public transport was amazing and cheap.

XXcstatic · 09/12/2019 22:46

When he retired they went down to one car, they never go anywhere separately

Shudder.

NightsOfCabiria · 09/12/2019 22:52

I know a few older (fifty plus) women whove given up due to lack of confidence on the changing roads. Driving now is completely different compared to thirty years ago. It’s a shane as it isolates people.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 09/12/2019 22:56

My nana gave up driving in her late 60s when she had her knee replaced. My mil hasn't driven since early 30s because she hates it and I have a friend in her 20s who hasn't driven since she passed her test due to anxiety

IfNot · 09/12/2019 23:01

A lot of men should give up driving way sooner than they do. Agree driving is getting much harder as the roads get more and more congested. I have had 2 very near misses with 70 something men.
Something REALLY needs to be done about public transport, especially with an ageing population.

XXcstatic · 09/12/2019 23:02

Driving now is completely different compared to thirty years ago.

Is it? Cars are safer and there's even more congestion. Apart from that, I can't think of any major differences apart from smart motorways- and they are easily avoided.

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