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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you are very lucky if you dont have to work?

473 replies

malificent7 · 09/12/2019 16:13

Dp is amazing but not a high earner and also i want to be a bit independent howver i haul my butt out if bed to work a 12 hour shift where i get told off as i havn't been trained properly...i am very jealous of those who don't have to work.

OP posts:
Morgan12 · 09/12/2019 16:38

@parttimers 😲 what is your job?

jamoncrumpets · 09/12/2019 16:39

I took my local authority to court last year (and won) so I hardly think my brain is rotting away over here

Morgan12 · 09/12/2019 16:40

Anyway, my DH isn't a high earner. About £45000 a year. But a low mortgage means I don't need to work when the kids are young.

I will go back when my youngest is at school, or maybe even nursery if I can find something to fit with the hours.

Its very lonely. But I do know that I'm very lucky to have the choice.

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/12/2019 16:41

From when I was doing the school run there were mums that worked ft and others that worked pt and a lot that on the surface didn’t work. But look more closely and you would find a group of women who were bringing in money from small ventures.

One of these small ventures has grown so much that her husband and brother both have given up their ft jobs and joined her in the business.

Others made enough to pay for holidays or the weekly shop

I don’t think I knew anyone who didn’t actually not earn anything apart from a couple of mums who were registered disabled

Morgan12 · 09/12/2019 16:41

Also, I don't do any craft. Am I supposed to? 😂

xmaself24 · 09/12/2019 16:45

I don't do crafts either!

dontalltalkatonce · 09/12/2019 16:45

You are very foolish if you quit work to be supported by 'DP' unless you are independently wealthy. Very foolish, not lucky.

Neolara · 09/12/2019 16:45

Op - If it's any consolation, i have just returned to work after 15 years as a sahm. I was generally very happy to be at home with the DC's, but by the end I was bored to tears. I'm now very happy to be working again.

But yes, I appreciate that I was lucky to have the choice over whether to work or not.

NaomiFromMilkShake · 09/12/2019 16:46

My DH is a high earner, (according to MN, but not according to the Home Counties average) Grin He worked away quite a lot, so I needed the adult company.

We have always run our finances on only one of us working, but I have always worked, sometimes not more than ten hours a week, but if I didn't get out of the house for a bit I would have gone proper bonkers.

There was one grim stage where in order to get out of the house I was doing one hour a day at a school supervising lunches, I used to threaten to leave, but I couldn't give up the human interaction.

Sometimes green grass is astro turf.

userxx · 09/12/2019 16:47

YABVVU. I could think of nothing worse than relaying on someone else.

Grasspigeons · 09/12/2019 16:47

It is lucky to not need to work and to have the freedom to choose to not work or choose the type of work you like in hours that suit. And just before a 12 hour shift i think id be dreaming of that too.
But i also feel lucky to be able to work part time and i'm only hanging in by the skin of my teeth due to DS special needs. I hate not having much income and not being able to do anything about it. One of my sibling cant work at all due to ill health.

LakieLady · 09/12/2019 16:48

I'd love not to have to work. I wouldn't get bored, or lonely, as long as I could spend unlimited amounts of money on books.

I'd happily spend the rest of my life lying on the sofa, reading, although I suppose I'd have to get up every now and again, if only to prevent pressure sores.

OldElPasoHadAChicken · 09/12/2019 16:49

I can understand people who have to work and have no choice, feeling this way.

I've had no choice despite trying everything I could think of, to not be employed (long-term physical disability and learning difficulties - actually very academic but people just don't want the liability apparently).

Tried to terminate myself a few times this year because of it. Somewhere has taken pity because they know me and know I'm more than I appear on the outside. But it's still not actually paid work. It's a start. It's helping me believe in myself.

Even if I had the money to do whatever I wanted, and not work, I'd not be happy and I honestly don't know if I could enjoy anything, knowing it wasn't a fun escape from the humdrum of life and work.

I've also met several pensioners who feel less than great because it's not turned out to be what they imagined.

Marrowfatpea · 09/12/2019 16:50

It depends on the job I think. Working in a tedious, soul-destroying, low paid job? No thanks. Working in a job that uses my brain and pays a good wage? Sure. Not working (assuming you have enough money for essentials) is somewhere in between the two, IMHO.

I8toys · 09/12/2019 16:51

I think I appreciate my leisure time more when I work. Weekends and days off/holidays are precious and treated as such. When I was on maternity leave every day merged into the next - it was awful. I couldn't wait to get back to work tbh.

lifeisgoodagain · 09/12/2019 16:51

I have worked since dc were in primary but part time. It's handy and easier but it's a risk, I'm now middle aged, husband less and career less even though I wouldn't change things I would caution anyone giving up work completely unless they have family money of their own. I can support myself just but only because my stbexh is being very fair and paying high spousal maintenance without a court order

Oly4 · 09/12/2019 16:52

We could afford for me not to work but I choose to! Love my job and the cash!

Baaaahhhhh · 09/12/2019 16:53

You are very foolish if you quit work to be supported by 'DP' unless you are independently wealthy. Very foolish, not lucky

In your opinion. Some of us are capable of making the right decisions for us regardless.

breakfastpizza · 09/12/2019 16:53

I love my job and I'd love not to work! My friend is married to the son of a billionaire and sometimes I have to block her on social media because her life is one long holiday.

HarrietTheFly · 09/12/2019 16:55

I know what you mean op, but I don't work and I absolutely hate it. It's mainly due to illness that I don't work, but we can afford it which makes me lucky and I do know that.

But: I really hate being financially dependent on another person and I get so, so bored. That's partly down to not always being able to get out much, but as well some is my fault - I'm sure someone else in my position would probably be productive and teach themselves a skill/s or get involved in a hobby of some kind. I guess I'm a bit depressed about things and have lost the motivation to try. My sense of "self worth" is pretty low. I miss the pace and interaction of working and I miss the financial independence I used to have. When I did work full time, I would have the odd day where I couldn't be bothered and wished I could stay home but overall I quite enjoyed it really.

Thestrangestthing · 09/12/2019 16:55

I've always thought I would like to not have to work but in reality I think I would get bored. I would like to just be able to drop down to part time.

TheWinterCaillech · 09/12/2019 16:55

Crafts maybe, books certainly, but housework? Really?

ScreamingValenta · 09/12/2019 16:55

I'd only want not to work if I had my own private income/capital to live off. Absolutely no way would I rely on a man to support me.

Milkandcreaminmine · 09/12/2019 16:55

@breakfastpizza don't you think if your life was one long holiday you wouldn't enjoy it as much? Part of the loveliness of holidays is the break from the mundane.

BaconAndAvocado · 09/12/2019 16:56

I'm going to be leaving the job I've had ( on and off) for 26 years this week. I have fallen out of love with the profession, like many others.
(I'm sure you get guess which profession!)

I aim to work from home, earning probably less than half the money but I will be less stressed. As a family we will have to make some cut backs but it will be worth it.