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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wish that the crying baby would stop coming to baby swimming classes...

197 replies

jamtomorrow1 · 09/12/2019 09:45

My three month old son has always been very jolly in his baby swimming classes and smiles and gurgles his way through them. The sessions are a highlight of the week for me and my husband (how our lives have changed). A new baby has joined the class recently and unfortunately he cries the whole way through every session. I can see how upset and disappointed his parents are about this, and I can see why they want to keep trying... but once Crying Baby starts crying, my son and several of the other babies start crying too in sympathy, and the result is that a previously fun activity is just miserable for all involved. I have the utmost sympathy for mother of Crying Baby but I am concerned that my son is no longer enjoying swimming, and also frankly I am no longer enjoying swimming either! Is there anything I can do other than find another class?!

OP posts:
andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 13:05

FYI your baby isn’t crying because the other baby is crying.

yes right, some people clearly never had babies have they. Let that not stopping you from having strong opinion though Grin

Blindspot82 · 09/12/2019 13:06

My first son was the "Crying Baby." He whinged at home. He whinged when I fed him. He whinged when I took him to supermarket or to other people's houses. It sucked. The only time he didn't whinge was when I took him swimming. I spent AGES in the pool with him because the crying just really got to me. So I can see both sides. It does distress me when I see babies being put through things they clearly don't enjoy. I get worried for them! I think you just need to suck it up though, you can't really say anything without offending and upsetting the parents who probably feel really awkward anyway. If it really is bothering you, find another class or another session.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 13:06

Sometimes there may be nowhere to go.. abandon shopping in the middle of a supermarket till?

nowhere was a supermarket mentioned, we were talking about classes or groups. No one has suggested that you jump out of a plane either if your baby starts crying in one Grin

Abouttimemum · 09/12/2019 13:12

@andpancakesforbreakfast I have an 8 month old?

He goes to swimming every Saturday. There used to be a baby cried in the pool every week, but the instructor was so gentle with him and his dad that as the weeks went on he got through more and more minutes until he started to enjoy the full lesson and now he loves it just as much as my boy.
That’s the whole point of swimming lessons, to help parents handle their children properly in the water so they are safe and build strength and understanding. You need the right instructor and a supportive set of parents in the pool. It’s a life skill and important in my opinion.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 09/12/2019 13:13

People are so intolerant of other people's kids!

Babies cry, it happens. My baby cried at baby swimming, everyone in the group was SO nice about it, reassuring me, which calmed me down, which calmed my baby down...

Try to start a positive chain of action: instead of disapproval try empathy and a kind word, a bit of encouragement

BloggersBlog · 09/12/2019 13:14

YANBU - the echoing sounds of a crying non stop baby in a swimming pool is enough to set anyone off.

I had a crier too, wouldnt dream of foisting that pain continually on others. Very selfish. Once or twice to give it a go, fair enough. Weeks of it - no

Londongirl86 · 09/12/2019 13:16

It's only a baby swim class so if it's not working out for you I'd just take him swimming by yourself if you get me. I suppose the parents want to get baby used to water. Although id feel bad if my baby was crying every time for several lessons. If start to realise it was making the others miss out and probably stop and try again later.

EKGEMS · 09/12/2019 13:27

PastelRainbows My son and yours must be long lost cousins! He screamed for eight months unless sleeping or eating! He hated his car seat with a passion! He earned the nickname Mexican jumping bean. We would cross the threshold of the doctor's and they would hear his screaming and recognize it and say "Oh, Robert's here!!!!" Talk about mortifying

EKGEMS · 09/12/2019 13:29

Oops and he would at eight months one morning wake up smiling and happy like a switch was hit! He ended up in commercials cause he was so cute and smiley!

mousemousse · 09/12/2019 13:32

I've done a full round of baby swimming from 3 months to 4 years and at some point most kids get the water wobbles and cry for a few weeks of lessons. For mine it happened at 5 months having previously been fine so you should be a little more cautious in your disdain for others. Could be crying baby is fine in a few weeks and yours starts to get grumpy!

M3lon · 09/12/2019 13:45

sia that does sound like rather a lovely alternative time line....we need to get Dr. Who on the case.

To be fair, the constant misery of my baby was far more the cause of the break down than judgy pants mums....but every little helps Hmm

At one point I attempted to visit a (supportive!) mum friend and her older kids were trying to 'entertain' the baby and getting wailed at, when the younger kid brought over his very favourite dummy and gave it to me and told me he was very sorry my baby was so sad and I just could not stop crying myself. Had to walk home because I couldn't drive.

Man. I need to stop remembering this shit. I need to go teach in 15 mins and it would help if I didn't still feel like shutting myself in the loos and crying!

meredithgrey1 · 09/12/2019 13:47

I imagine having a crier can be very difficult, and isolating in those early weeks.

Agreed, if the baby is a crier generally (obviously we don't know) the parents must be keen to get out and about.
My 5 month old cries all the time and I don't really take her to groups or classes (or anywhere really) because I don't want to be the one with the screaming baby. I'm pretty miserable to be honest and wish I had the strength to just grin and bear it and take her out regardless but I don't really. I'd hate to take her and feel like other parents were thinking "urgh I wish she'd just keep that crying baby away"

reindeersocks · 09/12/2019 14:01

OP YABU. Suck it up and stop being so selfish. Lucky you having a baby that's 'jolly'. It might not be forever you know. Teething, jabs, colds, you have all this to come and all of these things can make the 'jolliest' babies miserable little wotsits.

My eldest was a screamer. All. The. Time. I ended up so isolated and lonely from just staying home so as not to keep receiving such awful looks and comments it really affected me.

Youngest is the polar opposite. I have a 'jolly' baby now, hooray! She's still a toad when she wants to be though.

Don't be that parent OP. Or rather, stop being that parent.

DawsonsSheep · 09/12/2019 14:03

Put the shoe on the other foot OP, would you leave an activity you had paid for if - heaven forbid - it was your baby who was crying?

Ohdearohdearyme · 09/12/2019 14:03

YABVU.

ThebishopofBanterbury · 09/12/2019 14:06

I don't think you are being unreasonable. It really upsets me when babies are visibly upset in the swimming pool and the parents insist on forcing them. My child was like that and I stopped going until she was older. There really isn't a desperate rush for them to learn to swim at 3 months!

Ginandgingers92 · 09/12/2019 14:07

@TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead THIS. 👌🏼🙌🏼

ALongHardWinter · 09/12/2019 14:09

Crying in sympathy? Really? Never witnessed this before!

EasterIssland · 09/12/2019 14:11

have you ever heard about water wobbles? my son loved it for the first 6 months,, then he's been hating it and at the same time loves it.. we even stopped for 6 months and then returned (I had 8 Classes left from when I stopped going) and guess what he loved it... and the last week he hated it again... what I'm saying is that even if your baby seems happy now there will be times when yours is the crying one ...

Marylou2 · 09/12/2019 14:12

YANBU.Swimming and indeed and lessons for babies should be fun. Yes, babies cry but if the same baby is crying all the time the parents should realise that the baby is not enjoying or benefiting from the activity and try again in a few months.

Marylou2 · 09/12/2019 14:12

*any lessons

avacadooo · 09/12/2019 14:12

Christ I can only imagine what other mums must say about me.
My baby has a meltdown every time he goes to a first class and the next time he's fine. God forbid he cries cause he's hungry or teething at a class but at least the women in my group are supportive of any mother who's dealing with a crier.
Get your head out your arse it's difficult enough dealing with a crying infant at a baby class without having someone judge you and want you to leave because of it.

Beswitched · 09/12/2019 14:15

I don't think you're being unreasonable and dont know why so many posters are being sneery and jeery towards you.

If the baby is unhappy in the pool and upsetting the other babies then yes the parents should reconsider and postpone the swimming lessons for a while.

my2bundles · 09/12/2019 14:38

I recommend that if you don't want to hear babies crying that you stay away from anything specifically intended for babies. They cry, yes even jolly ones cry so don't count your chickens yet 😂you are only 3 months into this parenting lark. Your time WILL come

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/12/2019 14:43

Crying is the way an intelligent baby tries to communicate and doesn’t necessarily mean baby doesn’t enjoy something. It could be that it’s different or he’s hungry or insecure. If your baby hasn’t ever cried at a swimming lesson unless he’s mimicking another child I would be worried about their development.