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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wish that the crying baby would stop coming to baby swimming classes...

197 replies

jamtomorrow1 · 09/12/2019 09:45

My three month old son has always been very jolly in his baby swimming classes and smiles and gurgles his way through them. The sessions are a highlight of the week for me and my husband (how our lives have changed). A new baby has joined the class recently and unfortunately he cries the whole way through every session. I can see how upset and disappointed his parents are about this, and I can see why they want to keep trying... but once Crying Baby starts crying, my son and several of the other babies start crying too in sympathy, and the result is that a previously fun activity is just miserable for all involved. I have the utmost sympathy for mother of Crying Baby but I am concerned that my son is no longer enjoying swimming, and also frankly I am no longer enjoying swimming either! Is there anything I can do other than find another class?!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 09/12/2019 12:05

Babies are not dogs who bark because they hear another dog bark. That's not how it works. If your baby is crying you need to try to manage that and not blame someone else.

Baguetteaboutit · 09/12/2019 12:05

Yeah well, her baby is crying. It's not the end of the world, is it and pancakes. It might make for a novel and interesting life experience for such a jolly and content baby, in any case HmmWink

andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 12:05

Because the OP clearly struggles with the reality of everyday life, mainly that there are all different kinds of babies and parents.

sadly OP, you do have YEARS of entitled and selfish parents. It only gets worst as they get older: parents take their sick and contagious kids to nurseries, schools, soft plays, parties, anywhere really. Parents leave their kids run amok without any regard for anyone else. Wait until you go to parks and soft plays where the lazy ones just dump their kids for an hour or so and you have to stay with your younger one to avoid them being trampled and hurt.

Yes, it is true you need to tough it up, these parents are everywhere. You'll recognise them quickly, not only they are rude and selfish, but usually pretty vocal as they wouldn't want anything to spoil THEIR fun.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 12:07

It might make for a novel and interesting life experience for such a jolly and content baby, in any case

typical MN, where making another baby cry is the highlight of amusement for some posters, bitter much are we?

poor kids.

Some babies don't even like to have a bath, but who cares if they are miserable in a swimming pool which is much worst, and who cares if other kids get upset, It's sad that people are genuinely so inconsiderate and mean.

literategiraffe · 09/12/2019 12:08

How many classes has crying baby been to? We started swimming at 8 weeks and up until she started teething she was fine then we had 3 weeks of horrible grumpy pool baby. We were told to persist for a few weeks and she got over it. Maybe crying baby just needs some time to get used to the class

MissE6791 · 09/12/2019 12:11

Very unreasonable of the other parents to force their baby to do something it hates, and quite shitty parenting imo. Any class I have been to I’ve done a trial session first to make sure we get on ok with it before I fork out lots of money. Great if they enjoy them but swimming classes at 3 months are hardly necessary.

Baguetteaboutit · 09/12/2019 12:12

Ofgs Hmm

Shannith · 09/12/2019 12:14

In the nicest possible way OP (if you come back) you are 3 mo the in to your first baby and are probably a bit insane.

The pfb thing will wear off - took me about ohh 4 years?

Babies cry, toddles tantrum, 8 years olds think they are 13. Pretty sure that's standard (the 13 year old bit may just be mine).

You will be THAT mum many, many times over. Relax and be glad it's not you YET.

Because it will be....

Shannith · 09/12/2019 12:15

And motherhood will also apparently render you unable to type on a phone.

Maybe that's just me as well.

user1477391263 · 09/12/2019 12:19

We persist with children like this because we love them and they are ours and we can't just put them in the bin.

I am pretty sure that when HappyCamper said "persist" she meant "persist with dragging them to a baby class that they hate" not "persist with taking care of them at all."

Trewser · 09/12/2019 12:21

Because you think they might enjoy it next time.

Justgorgeous · 09/12/2019 12:21

It’s called life.

PepePig · 09/12/2019 12:29

I laughed at this thread, I'll not lie. Complaining about a small baby crying, I mean, it's not as if babies aren't notorious for crying are they?

My baby hated the bath for about 4/5m. Now, at 11m she's obsessed with it. As in will frantically crawl into the bathroom any time past 5pm because she wants it to be bathtime. Has a mini tantrum if you carry her out again without the bath. Sometimes it takes time with babies to enjoy things. Get over yourself.

reginafelangee · 09/12/2019 12:29

Seriously?

Aventurine · 09/12/2019 12:30

Dd was quite a happy baby but hated swimming lessons when she was one. We kept having to dunk them and they kept giving her things then grabbing them back from her as part of games. So i stopped taking her to them and just took her to fun swimming which she enjoyed. She then did swimming at school from reception to year 9 plus swimming lessons once a week from Year 1 to Year 10 outside school. No regrets about stopping the age 1 swimming lessons she wasn't enjoying

Aventurine · 09/12/2019 12:34

PS. YANBU

Retpark101 · 09/12/2019 12:34

Things like this were the reason I never went to any baby classes with DD until very recently, I was so worried about mothers like you judging me because DD can be very fussy at times. I can assure you we don’t do it to annoy you, infact we probably want to cry ourselves.

It’s either drag me and DD out and maybe she will cry or shut ourselves in the house all day everyday. Have some empathy for the other mum OP

Minai · 09/12/2019 12:38

I had crying baby. He was an absolute misery guts all the time. I had to go to stuff like this otherwise I’d have been driven insane listening to him screaming in the house all day!

MatildaTheCat · 09/12/2019 12:39

Why don’t you suggest all having a coffee together after the class and get chatting? If she simply has a baby who cries a lot you can sympathise and offer support as a group. If she has a baby who is generally placid but hates swimming then you could steer the conversation towards finding out if she’s intending to carry on.

I swim regularly while baby and toddler classes are being held and recently a toddler was screaming so loudly it was actually close to breaking our ears. I did wonder at that point if the instructor would ever suggest to the parents that this wasn’t working out.

KittenVsXmastree · 09/12/2019 12:43

I havent read the responses, but cant see any from you, jamtomorrow1. I had that baby. The one who screamed whatever I did. He screamed at home, he screamed in the pushchair, he screamed round tesco, in the park, on the floor, in my arms. Yes, he screamed at baby groups. The only time he didnt scream was when he was attached to my boob, or during his max 40 mins of sleep (day or night, he never slept for me than 40 mins without requiring a feed and a scream for 6 months).

I desperatly, desperatly needed to get out of the house, have some human contact, and some semblance of social life. Baby groups were the place I felt the safest to take my screamer, hoping for some company and understanding. It may not be the case, but this mother could be really struggling. Please dont judge or make life any harder for he than it already is.

Ginandgingers92 · 09/12/2019 12:47

Echoing PPs that one day you'll have the crying baby... or god forbid the tantruming toddler... imagine how you'd feel
If you were told not to return to a playgroup or class on that basis. 🤦🏼‍♀️

andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 12:50

or god forbid the tantruming toddler... imagine how you'd feel
If you were told not to return to a playgroup or class on that basis.

but surely normal parents do not leave their toddler throw a tantrum in the middle of the playgroup or class, but remove them and only come back when they have calmed down, don't they?
They do if they have the most basic manners anyway, and thankfully most parents do.

Venger · 09/12/2019 12:56

Make a big thing of "lets take you out now you're getting upset, no need to force you to endure something if you're crying..." and look pointedly at mum of crying baby.

Who reads something like this thread and then decides a bit of passive-aggressive bitchiness will fix the situation?

I don't really understand the point of all these expensive baby classes (yoga/swimming/massage) but why go if the baby hates it? I just don't get it? You're paying money for your baby to be miserable

They're for the benefit of the parents rather than the baby, getting out of the house keeps you plodding along rather than sitting at home sobbing into the top of the baby's head about how lonely and pathetic you are. Or at least that was my experience, getting out of the house kept me sane.

Abouttimemum · 09/12/2019 13:01

Haha I can’t wait till your baby is screaming the place down somewhere public OP. It will happen.
Hopefully you’ll be around sympathetic parents who understand what you’re going through and give you a smile, rather than judging.
FYI your baby isn’t crying because the other baby is crying.

Ginandgingers92 · 09/12/2019 13:04

@andpancakesforbreakfast ... parents don't need judginess, regardless of how they deal with a toddler tantrum. Sometimes there may be nowhere to go.. abandon shopping in the middle of a supermarket till?
That attitude is what stops parents taking their children out and engaging them in enriching activities.
When did people get so harsh?