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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wish that the crying baby would stop coming to baby swimming classes...

197 replies

jamtomorrow1 · 09/12/2019 09:45

My three month old son has always been very jolly in his baby swimming classes and smiles and gurgles his way through them. The sessions are a highlight of the week for me and my husband (how our lives have changed). A new baby has joined the class recently and unfortunately he cries the whole way through every session. I can see how upset and disappointed his parents are about this, and I can see why they want to keep trying... but once Crying Baby starts crying, my son and several of the other babies start crying too in sympathy, and the result is that a previously fun activity is just miserable for all involved. I have the utmost sympathy for mother of Crying Baby but I am concerned that my son is no longer enjoying swimming, and also frankly I am no longer enjoying swimming either! Is there anything I can do other than find another class?!

OP posts:
user1477391263 · 09/12/2019 10:17

I think the responses to this thread are bizarre.

The OP is not complaining about babies crying in the train or supermarket--we all have sympathy in cases like that.

She is talking about a baby who is reduced to crying by baby swim! It is not an essential activity. He is clearly not enjoying it. It's making everyone else fed up. Why continue to drag him through the damn sessions? It is wretched for everyone else and the baby himself risks being put off swimming. Just wait till he's older and can enjoy it!

And saying that it makes sense for parents to continue forcing him through an experience that is making him, them and everyone else miserable, I think the phrase here is "sunk cost fallacy." If the lessons are not enjoyable and are counterproductive, then you stop going.

Continuing to go through this unpleasant experience because "well, I've paid!" is about as sensible as buying a pair of shoes that you don't like and which don't fit you, on the grounds that "They were in a sale and were a great price!"

LemonScentedStickyBat · 09/12/2019 10:18

It’s a bit daft of them to persist but it’s the sort of thing I would have one first time around, thinking that my baby would NEVER like the water if I didn’t push through and keep taking them ... sometimes stuff only becomes apparent in hindsight.

Or...Maybe that baby needs to get used to the water and your baby needs to get used to other crying babies?

User12879923378 · 09/12/2019 10:18

What does their baby wear? Maybe it's cold. Most baby swim classes will tell you that just a swim nappy and happy nappy are fine, but once we changed from classes in a hydrotherapy pool to a normal pool our daughter hated it until we put her in a wetsuit.

IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory · 09/12/2019 10:18

Sometimes she gives a crying baby a hmm face grinMaybe she's a sociopath

Grin she’ll be the one in softplay bonking others on the head with the baby drums then wondering why they’re making a funny noise.

toomuchtooold · 09/12/2019 10:18

Do babies really get upset by other crying babies? I have twins (one jolly, in the baby days, one... less so) and they never seemed to set each other off. Sometimes they would cry at the same time because they were both bothered by the same thing (tired, hungry), and I suspect that that's what's happening here too. Maybe after 10 minutes all the babies are fucked off. Not surprising, it must be quite nippy in the swimming pool at this time of year.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 09/12/2019 10:18

Oh Honeybee85 I would feel very sorry for a mum with a crying baby on a plane so long as you weren’t sat near me Grin

User12879923378 · 09/12/2019 10:19

PS it only took us one session to work out what the problem was but then she had previously swum with no issues so we had something to work with

puds11 · 09/12/2019 10:19

Do babies cry?? Shock

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 09/12/2019 10:19

Swimming classes for a 3 month old?! Fuck me the worlds gone mental.

user1477391263 · 09/12/2019 10:20

The funny thing is, I bet if someone posted here saying "My baby screams and cries all the way through every baby swim session," they would get a whole bunch of posters saying "Why are you forcing your baby to do baby swim when they hate it Parents are so pushy nowadays."

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 09/12/2019 10:20

Do babies cry?? Shock

Only if you forget to take the batteries out. Grin

CallmeAngelina · 09/12/2019 10:21

OP, trust me. One day you are going to look back on this thread and curl up.

Celebelly · 09/12/2019 10:21

I imagine having a crier can be very difficult, and isolating in those early weeks. One of the babies in our NCT group was a crier, but my friend just kept coming to stuff with him. He'd just be crying at home otherwise and she would be totally on her own. When she came to classes and to our meet-ups, she was able to have someone hold him for a bit while she had a drink or just be able to spend some time that wasn't just her and a crying baby. So I can understand why they're persevering
He did eventually stop crying and is now a happy little chappy!

Sleepyblueocean · 09/12/2019 10:22

It's not all about you.

Honeybee85 · 09/12/2019 10:23

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

I know, the crying gets on my nerves too!
I just hope people will be considerate and understand that babies don’t have an on/off switch button when it comes to crying and that the parents often can’t help it.

Luckily we will have a row to ourselves but noise travels far in a plane Blush

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 09/12/2019 10:23

Swimming classes for a 3 month old?! Fuck me the worlds gone mental.

It’s the perfect age to start them. At that age they don’t have preconceived ideas or worries about what might happen. They just live ‘in the moment’ so can be taught much easier than older kids. My great nice absolutely loves swimming and my favourite photo of her is taken with her ‘swimming’ under the water at just a few months old. The look of joy on her face is priceless.

TuttiCutie · 09/12/2019 10:23

I can see where you're coming from OP.

Its quite bizarre that the parents persist in taking their baby to a non-essential activity, which the baby clearly doesn't enjoy and ends up being distressed at.

differentnameforthis · 09/12/2019 10:23

One day your ds might be "crying baby". How would you feel about people wanting him to leave the class?

user1477391263 · 09/12/2019 10:24

How do we know that the baby is "a crier" in general though? He may just be drying because of the pool. My baby was a pretty happy girlie but didn't like the pool as a baby--she screamed too. So we just used the big bath and paddling pool at home and got her used to water gradually, and took her to the pool once she had got a bit more used to it.

PastelRainbows · 09/12/2019 10:25

Imagine how it is for the parents! We had a crying baby for 6 months and whenever we went out, that "one hour" is mildly annoying for strangers but behind closed doors was a living a nightmare for us. It was a miracle that we never had a car accident on the way to and from unavoidable events/appointment as she would shriek relentlessly until we couldn't even see or think straight. We nearly lost our marriage and my sanity in the process.

Remarkably, she did a U-turn around 10 months and is now the happiest smiliest baby ever. However when I encounter crying babies now, my only feeling is sheer relief for myself and nothing but sympathy for the parents.

Be careful about karma, as one of your next babies may not be so easy-going.

snowball28 · 09/12/2019 10:25

Nature of the beast when you have kids I’m afraid, yes it can be frustrating but ultimately it’s a little baby and they really aren’t doing it on purpose.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 10:26

YANBU to be upset

Nothing you can do.

Laughing at the ridiculous posters mocking you - you do have a point, an enjoyable (expensive) time is being spoilt, they are hypocritical to pretend they wouldn't mind, so ignore the bitter comments.

But really, nothing you can do, just feel sorry for the baby who is being put off swimming by being forced despite being cold/scared/uncomfortable or whatever reason he's crying for.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 09/12/2019 10:26

Exactly how many classes has your 3 month old baby been to? 4 or so?

andpancakesforbreakfast · 09/12/2019 10:28

Do babies really get upset by other crying babies?

yes Confused

it gets worst as they get older, toddlers can get really upset, that's why nurseries and preschools REALLY don't let a child cry or the whole room starts following!

snowball28 · 09/12/2019 10:28

@PastelRainbows This was me! One very easy going joy of a baby followed by my wonderful daughter who still now at nearly 3 pushes me all the way over the edge and into the abyss of madness most days ha! She was a ‘crying’ baby all day every day was to the soundtrack of her constant screaming, like you I feel nothing but sympathy and empathy for parents of crying children these days!