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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wish that the crying baby would stop coming to baby swimming classes...

197 replies

jamtomorrow1 · 09/12/2019 09:45

My three month old son has always been very jolly in his baby swimming classes and smiles and gurgles his way through them. The sessions are a highlight of the week for me and my husband (how our lives have changed). A new baby has joined the class recently and unfortunately he cries the whole way through every session. I can see how upset and disappointed his parents are about this, and I can see why they want to keep trying... but once Crying Baby starts crying, my son and several of the other babies start crying too in sympathy, and the result is that a previously fun activity is just miserable for all involved. I have the utmost sympathy for mother of Crying Baby but I am concerned that my son is no longer enjoying swimming, and also frankly I am no longer enjoying swimming either! Is there anything I can do other than find another class?!

OP posts:
my2bundles · 09/12/2019 10:41

Thete isn't really anything you can do. Babies cry, your son is only 3 months and babies change so quickly next month your son could be the crying baby and the other baby the smiley one . I personally did not attempt any kind of swimming class untill my kids could actually take an active part in the class so around 2 years old. Before then I took them to normal sessions in the small pool sometimes they cried others they didn't. Babies cry, older babies snatch and hit, toddlers are rampaging lunatics 😂 they are also lovely and sweet. You need to adjust your expectations.

user1477391263 · 09/12/2019 10:42

I wish I'd done baby swim classes with mine - I've sunk fortunes into swimming lessons for my DC over the years and they are all still really poor swimmers, who hate getting their faces wet.

Are these group lessons? My experience is that you are better off paying for short intensive courses of one-on-one or two-on-one lessons with a private swimming instructor. Each lesson is expensive---but they make quick progress in a few sessions, rather than an endless dripfeed of group lessons that drag on for years and years, so it works out slightly cheaper. I waited till my child was school age, then blitzed the swimming with an intensive private course and got the job over with quickly.

M3lon · 09/12/2019 10:43

Oh this was so me and DD.

Apparently she was the only baby who ever cried all the way through baby yoga, baby massage, baby BF peer support, baby swimming...just fucking everything.

I did basically give up leaving the house because its so fucking miserable being the only one with a non-stop crying baby and everyone glaring at you.

Then I feel into a deep depression and nearly killed myself 2 years later.

Still, alls well that ends well Hmm and I now have a happy 8 yo and have sort of gotten my own mental health under control...sort of.

MrsBricks · 09/12/2019 10:43

@Awwlookatmybabyspider I wouldn't expect them to stay in doors, but I would expect most people to have the sense not to take a 3 month old swimming if they hate it Confused

Trewser · 09/12/2019 10:43

Mine didn't have formal swim lessons until they were 4. They all ended up as excellent competitive swimmers.

Raver84 · 09/12/2019 10:44

My gp specifically said no swimming before 12 weeks. How long has baby been swimming for

Trewser · 09/12/2019 10:45

Dd1 cried at everything for years. The only thing she didn't cry at was being with me and going for walks. She cried in baby music, nursery, childminder everything.

She's 20 now and the most sociable, friendly, positive person I know. In fact she's so Pollyannaish she's annoying Grin

M3lon · 09/12/2019 10:46

trewser oh yes, crying all through baby signing and music too! How could I forget!

Trewser · 09/12/2019 10:47

Yep I remember being permanently mortified.

ShinyGiratina · 09/12/2019 10:48

Some babies are criers regardless.
Some babies hate swimming, the cold, the wet, the noise.

The echoing pool environment is one of the less pleasant environments to have a constantly crying baby in.

It's not nice, but you can't say anything.

If it was specifically swimming making my baby cry constantly swimming, then I would have dropped out. As my DCs have got bigger, we have reviewed activities they do. Sometimes there is a natural break point like the end of a term/ course or month for DD payment. The money is paid whether you go or not.

MrsBricks · 09/12/2019 10:49

I don't really understand the point of all these expensive baby classes (yoga/swimming/massage) but why go if the baby hates it? I just don't get it? You're paying money for your baby to be miserable.

Trewser · 09/12/2019 10:51

I don't really understand the point of all these expensive baby classes (yoga/swimming/massage) but why go if the baby hates it? I just don't get it? You're paying money for your baby to be miserable

Well in my case I'd paid in advance and I hoped that this week would be the week we had a breakthrough and she'd love it. That never happened but I tried to stay positive. One class the organiser gave me a refund and said I shouldn't come again Grin

OrangeSlices998 · 09/12/2019 10:51

My concern wouldn't be your 'jolly' 12 week old (I mean really?) but smiling at this Mum with a crying baby and perhaps being kind? Friendly even! As others have said if you have a grumpy whingy crying baby you can feel more and more isolated.

ForalltheSaints · 09/12/2019 11:00

The only thing you can do if it upsets you so much is to find another class.

I wish that people didn't drive 4x4s, but I am not going to stop them by complaining to them or the car dealer that sold them.

Rewilderness · 09/12/2019 11:02

If the poor little soul cries throughout each session as a parent I wouldn’t persist in keeping going. He’s 3 months. I’d cut my losses and try again when they’re older. No baby needs to go to swimming at 3 months so it should only be something they’re taken to if they’re enjoying it. If the crying baby just cries for a bit then settles into it and has fun then fair enough but to make them stay for the whole session every week at 3 flipping months seems a bit selfish.

SeditionSue · 09/12/2019 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baguetteaboutit · 09/12/2019 11:08

Make a big thing of "lets take you out now you're getting upset, no need to force you to endure something if you're crying..." and look pointedly at mum of crying baby.

Oh, oh ... And then when your baby is crying because the other baby is crying then some other mum with a non-crying baby can say this shit to you and then everyone gets to feel a little bit shittier about being a mother...go Mumsnet, by parents, for parents.

BeatriceTheBeast · 09/12/2019 11:10

I know what you mean rewilderness, but they will have been sold the usual shit peddled by these companies, that this will help your baby be safe in the water. Which is nonsense.

There is a type of swim class where they actually do teach younger children to swim, but it is often criticised as being cruel - they seem to just repeatedly throw them in and let them sink till they get it. They do not do that sort of class in the UK iirc. I think it is called Infant Self Rescue.

Celebelly · 09/12/2019 11:10

Make a big thing of "lets take you out now you're getting upset, no need to force you to endure something if you're crying..." and look pointedly at mum of crying baby.

This is fucking awful. No wonder people are wary of going to baby classes if there are passive aggressive twats like that there.

Just focus on distracting your own baby.

Savingshoes · 09/12/2019 11:11

Is there anything I can do...
Yes, talk to the parents and offer lots of support. Make them feel welcome and you might even become friends.

RuggerHug · 09/12/2019 11:13

YABU and I think you know itHmm

siacolouredthesmallone · 09/12/2019 11:14

Is there anything I can do other than find another class?!

Ffs.

Yes: learn to be such a comforting mother that your love sends your baby back to smiles and gurgles again. No? Outrageous? Sorry....from your OP I thought the whole point of the thread was to be outrageous and unreasonable....

sweatbomb · 09/12/2019 11:15

I wish my children showed such empathy at three months old.

RuggerHug · 09/12/2019 11:16

And MrsBricks you do realise the other Mother won't be watching OP for her glaring, she'll be focused on her own child?

pipnchops · 09/12/2019 11:17

My baby was the crying baby at swimming lessons, she absolutely hated it but unfortunately I'd paid for 10 weeks up front so I was going to try my best to get my moneys worth. Spent most of the lesson sitting at the side of the pool breast feeding and did not rebook after the 10 weeks. Instead we just started going swimming each week on our own and she loved it from that point on. YABU of they have paid upfront for lessons but from my experience, if their baby is upset in the pool I think they shouldn't persevere with the lessons, it's just not woith it. Doesn't mean their child won't ever enjoy swimming.