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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teenager buying for GF

177 replies

DBML · 08/12/2019 15:39

I have a teen boy (15). He wants to get his gf of four months a gift for Christmas. He’s met her a handful of times.

I’ve set a budget of £30 for him to spend, but apparently this is unreasonable and he wants more so he doesn’t “look cheap”.

AIBU and how do I navigate this without another huge and hormonal argument?

OP posts:

Gatehouse77 · 08/12/2019 15:40

Can he earn money to top it up?

Original poster

DBML · 08/12/2019 15:44

@Gatehouse77

He could I suppose, but I’m giving him the £30, so I was expecting him to help out for that. He gets £50 a month pocket money, which he spends on the cinema; Xbox live etc. He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner. I’m not feeling very generous towards him at the mo to be honest.

OP posts:

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/12/2019 15:46

No, I’m not surprised.

Gatehouse77 · 08/12/2019 15:46

Woah! It’s most definitely not your responsibility 🤬 Where’s he got that idea from?

namechange4052 · 08/12/2019 15:47

He doesn't want to look cheap, but it's also your responsibility to pay for the present 😂 aren't teenagers brilliant.

ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas · 08/12/2019 15:47

£30 is more than enough! He could get a nice piece of silver jewellery for that.

Aderyn19 · 08/12/2019 15:47

Definitely not your responsibility. If he's old enough to have a gf, he's old enough to buy her a Christmas present himself. He's lucky you are giving him £30 - the rest should come from his money. If he CBA to give up his cash for his gf, why the bloody hell should you?

bridgetreilly · 08/12/2019 15:47

No. It's his responsibility to get her the present out of his allowance. If that's not enough, he needs to earn any extra that he wants.

Duchessgummybuns · 08/12/2019 15:47

He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner.

Don’t know where to start with that one OP. Good luck.

JennyBlueWren · 08/12/2019 15:47

He gets £50 a month -he can buy it from that.

Gatehouse77 · 08/12/2019 15:47

My tactic would be to reduce the amount I’m offering every time he argues but I’d tell him in advance that’s what will happen.

Winterdaysarehere · 08/12/2019 15:47

I have suggested ds 15 does his gf a stocking.
She has spent £100 on him..

merryhouse · 08/12/2019 15:49

Sod that for a game of soldiers.

He wants to buy something, he uses his pocket money. That's what it's for.

Tell him if she dumps him for not having any money, he's better off without her anyway.

(no, obviously, don't....)

Whatsername177 · 08/12/2019 15:49

For that comment alone, I'd offer him nothing more than an advance on his pocket money and tell them that it is HIS girlfriend, therefore HIS responsibility to buy for her out of HIS allowance. You are very generous to give him that much money. Do not let him guilt trip or blackmail you. Don't give him any extra and make sure you take the money back from his allowance, even if its £10 per month for a few months.

Chocolate1984 · 08/12/2019 15:49

I’d actually take the offer of £30 back and make his save up his own pocket money. If he wants to buy his girlfriend a present he needs to save up his money.

Sherrybabyy · 08/12/2019 15:49

He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner
No way. Tell him if he wants to get more, he needs to use his own money. After that comment, I’m not even sure I’d be giving him £30

Parky04 · 08/12/2019 15:50

I would withdraw the £30 and he would end up with nothing. He is so ungrateful.

Pipandmum · 08/12/2019 15:50

My 16 year old has quite a serious girlfriend and I know he'll spend £100 on her. But he has a part time job and will pay for it himself. Her mother on the other hand - he stays over alot more than the girls stays here and I know she got him a nice present so I gave him £30 to get her something.

Actionhasmagic · 08/12/2019 15:51

He could get a nice piece of jewellery online or Argos for £30 but maybe offer extra money for chores

Gorbie · 08/12/2019 15:52

My 13.5 yr old brought his girlfriend a fairly decent size box of chocolates from Thorntons he brought it out of his own pocket money.

Original poster

DBML · 08/12/2019 15:54

I’ve always felt so smug that I had such a good boy. Loving, thoughtful, well behaved. No trouble at all.

Then he turned 14. What happened?!

Great advice all. I feel less mean and more set that I’m being very reasonable.

£100 @Winterdaysarehere 😮 madness at this age!

OP posts:

Bluebutterfly90 · 08/12/2019 15:55

I'm surprised you're willing to give him 30!
He's been with this girl 4 months and gets 50 quid a month anyway?
I'm going to sound like an old grump but some kids don't know how good they've got it!
Just put your foot down, 30, take it or leave it. You're being more than generous.

bridgetreilly · 08/12/2019 15:56

Her mother on the other hand - he stays over alot more than the girls stays here and I know she got him a nice present so I gave him £30 to get her something.

That's a nice thing to have done, and I think that's really appropriate for you to offer to pay for.

mcmen05 · 08/12/2019 16:00

They could be finished any time. Get her a small bottle off perfume. My dd 16 and 14 have had bfs they never buy presents before this year but could be different I'll just wait and see if they get something and then buy back. Alot off teenagers don't bother.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/12/2019 16:04

£30 isn’t looking cheap.

I would point out that anymore and it starts to look inappropriate.

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