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AIBU?

Teenager buying for GF

177 replies

DBML · 08/12/2019 15:39

I have a teen boy (15). He wants to get his gf of four months a gift for Christmas. He’s met her a handful of times.

I’ve set a budget of £30 for him to spend, but apparently this is unreasonable and he wants more so he doesn’t “look cheap”.

AIBU and how do I navigate this without another huge and hormonal argument?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

358 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
7%
You are NOT being unreasonable
93%
GreenTulips · 08/12/2019 16:52

My girls love the silver jewelry - have you been in pandora? what’s wrong with that?

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ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas · 08/12/2019 16:54

What’s wrong with silver - you can get pieces for all ages. My gran wouldn’t have had silver either, sniff, not nearly blingy enough for her.

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RedLipstickHighHeels · 08/12/2019 16:54

Pandora is nice in a middle class chic way but it’s nan and mum jewellery

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DBML · 08/12/2019 16:55

Pandora is lovely and they have some sweet and affordable mix n match earrings. He’d even have a few £ left over for chocolates.

Gosh I’m finding the teenage years a challenge. Please tell me they come through the other side.

OP posts:
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dontalltalkatonce · 08/12/2019 16:57

for a teenage partner comes in.

Teenagers do not have bloody 'partners' at 15! FFS. They have boyfriends and girlfriends.

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RedLipstickHighHeels · 08/12/2019 16:57

I genuinely wouldn’t think of choosing a teen gift in pandora it’s staid & fussy

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Sherrybabyy · 08/12/2019 16:58

Silver jewellery? Lol She’s his girlfriend not his nan
Didn’t realise silver jewellery was just for grandmothers. Someone tell Pandora quick Confused

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DivGirl · 08/12/2019 16:59

£50/month AND he wants you to contribute?! This'll be a good lesson in money management for him.

If he wants extra money for gifts he should sell some console games or do some odd jobs.

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dontalltalkatonce · 08/12/2019 16:59

It's his bloody responsibility to buy her a gift. Why the fuck is anyone enabling this bratty behaviour? 30 is generous. He wants more he can earn it or sell some of his games. What a laugh!

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Drum2018 · 08/12/2019 17:00

£30 is loads. Ds had a gf one Christmas, age 14. He (I) spent less than £20 on her, she bought him somethin, all very cute - then they broke up a couple of weeks later Grin Tell your Ds you will now give him max £20 and he can use it wisely to source the perfect gift.

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Lucylouxc · 08/12/2019 17:00

Re. pandora, I’m 22 and practically every girl I know has at least 1 thing from Pandora. Lots of my friends have the bracelets and rings. At school, girls always wore pandora rings. The suggestion that Pandora is for mums and grans is actually laughable.

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Waveysnail · 08/12/2019 17:01

Wow. I thought my boyfriend splashed at 16 when he got me a bottle of ck and some flowers

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Waveysnail · 08/12/2019 17:01

Many years ago Grin

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RedLipstickHighHeels · 08/12/2019 17:01

Pandora is staid and fussy. I genuinely can’t imagine teen girl thinking oh Gee I hope they made the effort and went to pandora for some fussy bauble or a bracelet

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RedLipstickHighHeels · 08/12/2019 17:03

Go Superdrug £30 is a fortune in Superdrug

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justilou1 · 08/12/2019 17:05

Time he got a Christmas job with comments like that!!

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altiara · 08/12/2019 17:05

All the girls in my DDs school have pandora rings from age 11 upwards. They’re not staid but cute with little hearts, bows, tiny bling. (Just very expensive for an 11 yr old).

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flyingspaghettimonster · 08/12/2019 17:06

I got a dr qho tee short and some british chocolate items for my daughter to give to her boyfriend. It's only been about a month and so I treated him like any other friend she wanted to gift to.

Tell your son girls don't always want a lot of fuss. I had a friend in uni who had a crush on me and for my birthday and christmas he showed up with a bin bag filled with gifts. Silver bracelet, earrings, necklace, several kinds of boxes of chocolates, teddy, a dress I had once said I liked when we walked through the market, even a watch from his parents who I had never met. I realised they must think we were dating and it was all just way more stressful than nice. I felt like with so much spent on me I was almost forced into making the relationship more than it was.

Less is more. In comparison, shortly after I started dating my bow husband, he showed up with a silver necklace from a local jewellers, probably cost about 25 pounds. He said he had been helping his mum choose a birthday gift for her god daughter and realised he wanted to get me it. I wore it everywhere for years. If she cares about him, she will value whatever be gets more than the monetary value

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BearSoFair · 08/12/2019 17:07

I think you were very generous to offer the £30, I'd definitely not be giving him anymore, I'd be expecting him to buy it out of his own £50 allowance. DS1 and his girlfriend got together when they were 14, I think the first year he bought her a nice mug and hot chocolate with marshmallows, she got him a band t-shirt. Neither spent a lot but they were both happy to have a gift from a partner!

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BlouseAndSkirt · 08/12/2019 17:07

A Lush bath bomb and some jewellery that she would like.

He is being ridiculous.

Does he have some specific item in mind that she has said or he knows she wants?

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Binglebong · 08/12/2019 17:09

"I've realised you're right, £30 from me does make you look cheap. It should be all your own money. So to save you looking cheap I'm withdrawing the £30."

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Sunflower20 · 08/12/2019 17:09

I’d give nothing. He’s already getting money each month, plenty. I’m not giving £30 to get a gift for some random!

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NearlyOutedMyself · 08/12/2019 17:10

£30 is cheap?? I've been with my partner for years and I'm not spending that much on him this year (for various reasons). How long would it take for a 15yr old to earn that much in a typical teenage part time job? That's what he needs to think about.

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dontalltalkatonce · 08/12/2019 17:11

Sure AF would not be enabling by offering suggestions of what to get for 30 or offering to shop. In such a way, lazy menchildren are born. FFS, DD's boyfriend gets her little gifts off his own back and he just turned 15.

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BlaueLagune · 08/12/2019 17:12

He told me it’s my responsibility to get her present as I’m the earner

I'd have withdrawn the £30 offer after that!

And what on earth is wrong with silver jewellery?

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