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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be FURIOUS with DH for burning DD’s soft toy!!!!!

277 replies

500miless · 08/12/2019 03:30

DH & I had a pretty stressful day. We have had an event planned for months and our babysitter ended up sick so we had to sort alternative childcare at very short notice.

Anyway, in a bid to make the house nice for the lady that we organised to help us out, DH lit a couple of scented candles. One was on the kitchen worktop, which I blew out before we left. I DID NOT realise he had also lit one in the lounge which he had left on the coffee table.

When we had left our DD, they were happily eating in the kitchen so I didn’t even think to check the living room before we left.

Anyway, I text the childminder at 8.00ish to see how the girls had settled and she informed me that both were asleep but that DD2 had an incident with her bunny. She had held it over near a candle and burned its mouth!

DD absolutely loves that bunny rabbit. She hasn’t gone anywhere without it in the past 3 years and I’m absolutely terrified by the thought of what could have happened and how much worse things could have been 😢

OP posts:
hsegfiugseskufh · 09/12/2019 16:32

how do people not burn the house down having candles lit Grin dear god!

imagine using your common sense!

MinervaSaidThat · 09/12/2019 16:41

@FizzyIce I’m a manhater?! Someone tell my husband stat!

FizzyIce · 09/12/2019 17:02

He probably knows

stickerqueen · 09/12/2019 17:11

your husband never burnt the teddy.

Thestrangestthing · 09/12/2019 17:18

Yup it's the babysitters fault, she really should have checked the whole house for any hazards that the parents had left lying around in the house where their children permenantly live.

katseyes7 · 09/12/2019 17:27

Am l missing something here? How did your DH burn the bunny? You say in your OP that "She had held it over near a candle and burned its mouth!"

MiMiMaguire · 09/12/2019 17:28

Oh ffs. I'd more pissed off at the babysitter tbh

alexdgr8 · 09/12/2019 17:30

please remove all candles from the house, the hazards are too great, even without children around.
ask any fire officer.
get spray or pug-in air freshners, and wind-up torches instead.
hold your children and your husband together all in a rugby hug, and be grateful you all have each other.

cherrybath · 09/12/2019 17:34

I've not had time to read all the posts but I'm surprised that your DH left a candle lit on a table low enough for your DC to reach. This is dangerous with small children and I think YANBU

Helen1224 · 09/12/2019 17:35

? I took, from the thread title that he has ACTUALLY physically set it on fire. Yabvvvu. Babysitter were in charge and therefore your DH is nowhere near responsible for this incident

TashaG · 09/12/2019 17:36

I genuinely thought I was going to read a thread about how DH got fed up with a noisy cuddly toy and threw it on the bonfire!

bit disappointed now . . . .

But not DH fault and not babysitters fault, it was an accident and you need to treat it as such and not be FURIOUS!

Honestyisalwaysthebestpolicy · 09/12/2019 17:38

I agree with Heartsonacake, it’s a valuable lesson for your daughter to learn. On a side note it’s also good for her to learn that she doesn’t need the bunny. It’s not healthy for children to be so attached to an object.

Rumnraisin · 09/12/2019 17:42

OP please don’t call babysitters childminders and vice versa, it adds to your confusing post! I’m guessing that a childminder helped out by going round to yours even though they usually provide childcare from their own home. Your DH was in the wrong for leaving a candle unattended but as a registered childminder I would expect them to keep the child in sight and definitely notice if they were in reach of a lit candle. Yep I’m being pedantic but your confusing post is irritating sorry!
Also why is this one so similar to the other candle/DH thread!!!

Autumntoowet · 09/12/2019 17:48

It’s not healthy for children to be so attached to an object.
Oh FFS

Esspee · 09/12/2019 17:53

I'm horrified that you normally light candles in the house. Apart from the fire danger so many of them are carcinogenic. If you want a house to smell fresh open the windows fgs.

Limensoda · 09/12/2019 17:54

If the candle wasn't in reach, your DD couldn't have burnt her soft toy.
The adults are to blame here....your DH, and then the babysitter...BOTH had a responsibility and failed. It's not your DD's fault.

lovemenorca · 09/12/2019 17:54

** please remove all candles from the house, the hazards are too great, even without children around.
ask any fire officer.**
get spray or pug-in air freshners, and wind-up torches instead.

The smell of burning flesh is preferable to a plug in

hsegfiugseskufh · 09/12/2019 17:55

esspee horrified??
Mn is like a different world. Everyone i know has candles in their house.

cherish123 · 09/12/2019 17:56

How is it your DH's fault? I know it's annoying but it is just a toy.

nocoolnamesleft · 09/12/2019 17:58

YANBU. He left an unattended lit candle. Could have burned the whole place down.

Lou12124 · 09/12/2019 18:03

I'm with OP. My house actually burnt down when I was 15 due to a boyfriend of my mothers leaving candles burning with my little brothers running about. Luckily we all got out safe but it's so stupid to leave a candle lit whether it's in reach or not. Unless you are in that room for a couple hours of the evening then I dont think candles should be burnt...what's wrong with air freshener?

MrsBadcrumble123 · 09/12/2019 18:05

Who lights candles within reach of a child?! You’re husband is an idiot for doing this and your child could have been badly burned or burnt your house down Confused

aSofaNearYou · 09/12/2019 18:06

I would be more annoyed at the fire hazard leaving it alone with a toddler than the toy, but no he should not have left it so YANBU

violinrosa · 09/12/2019 18:09

DH's fault here for not

  1. checking the candles were blown out before leaving

or

  1. telling babysitter there was a lit candle in the room (that presumably you didn't notice either).
GrannyBags · 09/12/2019 18:13

The title is very misleading!