To be FURIOUS with DH for burning DD’s soft toy!!!!!

[500miless]

DH & I had a pretty stressful day. We have had an event planned for months and our babysitter ended up sick so we had to sort alternative childcare at very short notice.

Anyway, in a bid to make the house nice for the lady that we organised to help us out, DH lit a couple of scented candles. One was on the kitchen worktop, which I blew out before we left. I DID NOT realise he had also lit one in the lounge which he had left on the coffee table.

When we had left our DD, they were happily eating in the kitchen so I didn’t even think to check the living room before we left.

Anyway, I text the childminder at 8.00ish to see how the girls had settled and she informed me that both were asleep but that DD2 had an incident with her bunny. She had held it over near a candle and burned its mouth!

DD absolutely loves that bunny rabbit. She hasn’t gone anywhere without it in the past 3 years and I’m absolutely terrified by the thought of what could have happened and how much worse things could have been 😢

I hardly ever light candles but DH does only once the kids are in bed. On the very rare occasion I light a candle when the kids are home, it would be placed out of their reach. Hence DD not having a clue about the dangers they pose.

You haven't said how old your DD is but she has to be at the very least, 3 years old.

She really doesn't know fire is dangerous?

Regardless of who is or isn't to blame for the candle incident, I'd be teaching your DD about the danger of fire immediately.

@FizzyIce

He probably knows

What, even when he’s hugging me like a Koala?

I think you were both bu - candles are dangerous and they shouldn’t be on low surfaces where a child could burn themselves or a toy or one of those fancy dress outfits (which could melt and cause a really nasty wound). The babysitter may not have seen the candle, it was your joint responsibility to blow them all out before you left.

Accidents happen maybe ask your DH to only light candles out of reach of children, all are safe maybe you could get a replacement bunny

Agree with pps the title is very misleading.

I was expect to read that the child's toy had been taken away and burned by her horrible father.

Very relieved that's not the case.

However, he's pretty stupid to leave candles burning where small children can reach them. That could have been her hand that was burned rather than just her bunny.

I imagine the babysitter didn't expect there to be a lit candle sitting in the middle of the coffee table and she might very well have let your DD go into the living room on her own while she cleared up in the kitchen. It's the child's home, I doubt the babysitter expected it to contain a potential fire hazard.

Personally, if I was going to sit in someone else's house for the evening I'd be horrified if they lit stinking, over perfumed candles before I arrived, which I then had to sit breathing in all evening.

It doesn't make the air in the house fresh, it makes the air stink. Opening windows makes the air fresh.

How many house fires are caused by lit candles.

I just googled cause of house fires and candles up there near top but also close behind was children’s curiosity, so double whammy with potential fire.

Candles are so dangerous even in the best of times. I had a candle explode and caused a lot of damage. I am so lucky it was not worse. Chalk it up to a learning experience. Set boundaries for candle use and talk to your little one about how dangerous candles are. This a good learning lesson with the added bonus that no one got hurt.

Scented candles are really bad for you, aren't they? I love them but stopped using them when I read all the recent research.

On the whole I would be very relieved it's just a burnt bunny.. my sister picked up some candles when she was little and took them upstairs to her room... She burnt the house down, absolutely true story. Luckily nobody was hurt, I was still in my mum's tummy so got a swift getaway..The story is regularly rolled out at family gatherings.. As kind of a funny crazy kids story but also it could have been so much worse

Scented candles are really bad for you, aren't they?

There's no scientific evidence that they are. There was a very well publicized press release from the University of South Carolina 10 years ago that was never followed up by an actual peer-reviewed journal article. There have been numerous articles since then about people's perceptions of effects of scented products on their health but no studies of actual effects. All the media stories since then have been recycling of the sensationalist tabloid stories about the 2009 press release.

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412016305955?via%3Dihub

@WorraLiberty

I have taught my kids the danger of fire but that still doesn't stop them from being curious! I tell my twins not to touch the plug sockets because they are dangerous but they still continue to switch them on and off (and yes I have plug socket covers in)..doesn't mean anything when they're young....only when they get to a certain age do they understand not to do something.

Lou that's different to 'not having a clue of the dangers they pose', as the OP said.

Too many posters are not understanding what an 'accident' is. An accident is something unplanned, like when you trip over something, whereas lighting a candle and leaving it burn is not an accident but a deliberate act.

The bunny being burnt would be the less of a worry than the danger your dd was.

P.s your DH didn't burn the rabbit.

never mind that why was a lit candle on a table within a child's reach in the first place? babyproof your house.

Your husband is in the wrong for forgetting to blow out a lit candle. I won't have candles in the house as they do not mix with tired parents. It's just not worth the risk.

Your husband needs to learn all of the fire safety tips because he clearly wasn’t thinking of the potential risk of harm to his children when lighting that candle. This alone would really piss me off.

I light candles all the time. Never put them in reach of children though.

I’m unclear as to how a candle sitting on a kitchen worktop with absolutely nothing else around it or hanging near it etc could cause a fire tbh. Assuming it doesn’t get knocked over or anything. If it’s literally just sitting there.

I'm sorry about your DDs bunny. Its no doubt very special to her, however, it was not his fault that the bunny was burnt. That insinuated that he chucked the bunny in a bonfire purposefully.

You’re both being unreasonable for using candles, in a child’s easy reach.
I’d be also worried about your child holding her beloved toy over a burning flame.
You have no one to blame but both yourselves.
Feel sorry for your babysitter.

Why do you care more about making the house look “nice for the babysitter” than you care about your children’s safety?

Can you patch the rabbit up? Get it a new nose? Hope your daughter isn’t too distraught about it. I feel for you, my kids would be v upset in those circs.

I can see why op is so fed up with her DH, it’s monumentally stupid to light a candle, leave it burning while there are kids around then go out without mentioning it to the babysitter, it’s asking for disaster.

Why do you care more about making the house look “nice for the babysitter” than you care about your children’s safety

I agree. Seems insane to rush round lighting candles because the baby sitter is coming over. I'd usually just make sure there's no pants on the bathroom floor and not too much Lego on the floor in case they step on it!

I can not believe how many people are blaming the babysitter for this!