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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be FURIOUS with DH for burning DD’s soft toy!!!!!

277 replies

500miless · 08/12/2019 03:30

DH & I had a pretty stressful day. We have had an event planned for months and our babysitter ended up sick so we had to sort alternative childcare at very short notice.

Anyway, in a bid to make the house nice for the lady that we organised to help us out, DH lit a couple of scented candles. One was on the kitchen worktop, which I blew out before we left. I DID NOT realise he had also lit one in the lounge which he had left on the coffee table.

When we had left our DD, they were happily eating in the kitchen so I didn’t even think to check the living room before we left.

Anyway, I text the childminder at 8.00ish to see how the girls had settled and she informed me that both were asleep but that DD2 had an incident with her bunny. She had held it over near a candle and burned its mouth!

DD absolutely loves that bunny rabbit. She hasn’t gone anywhere without it in the past 3 years and I’m absolutely terrified by the thought of what could have happened and how much worse things could have been 😢

OP posts:
formerbabe · 08/12/2019 12:12

@icanhearapindrop

Completely agree with you. I can't think of anything more stupid than lighting a candle and leaving it unattended on a coffee table with young children. If I was babysitting, I would never expect that lit candles may be dotted around the house.

daisypond · 08/12/2019 12:13

I genuinely do not understand why some people aren’t putting some responsibility on the babysitter. Surely, with a young child who hasn’t gone to bed, the babysitter should be in the room with the child to prevent the incident.

fligglepige · 08/12/2019 12:16

You're being really precious. DD will pick up on that so stop making it such a big deal. Use it as an opportunity to teach her that even if something we love has something happen to it to change the way it looks, it's still the same inside and still just as precious as it was.

formerbabe · 08/12/2019 12:21

She's not being precious. Leaving unattended candles around in reach of young children is incredibly dangerous and stupid.

The soft toy is irrelevant.

This could have been so much worse. He was an absolute idiot

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 08/12/2019 12:34

Why aren't you angry with the baby sitter who allowed it to happen? Confused

formerbabe · 08/12/2019 12:36

Why aren't you angry with the baby sitter who allowed it to happen

No right minded person would think a family with young children would leave burning candles in easy reach. It's not the babysitter's fault.

Skagen · 08/12/2019 12:38

You sound crackers. I don't understand the hysterics aimed at your husband. He should have been more thoughtful obvs but if I were babysitting I would have moved the candle. Simple.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 08/12/2019 12:47

No right minded person would think a family with young children would leave burning candles in easy reach. It's not the babysitter's fault.

Who was in charge? The baby sitter. It was absolutely her fault. Unless she's blind.

TSSDNCOP · 08/12/2019 12:52

I came on with a YANBU all ready assuming he’d lobbed it on an open fire.

BlouseAndSkirt · 08/12/2019 13:00

Bloody hell! Leaving a lit candle without alerting the babysitter was really irresponsible.

In the babysitters shoes I would be complaining.

OK, your DH didn’t burn the bunny but he created an accident waiting to happen.

But I can’t conceive that either if you think that scented (or any) candles are a good thing to leave around the house when you have young children. And if I went somewhere to babysit and scented candles or diffusers or plug ins were on I would put it all out and flap plenty of fresh air through from an open door. They are a highly selective taste, and make me feel ill and my eyes stream.

ineedaholidaynow · 08/12/2019 13:11

The baby sitter didn’t light the candle. If she didn’t know it was lit why was it her fault?
By the sounds of it she went into the kitchen first so would not have known about the candle in the lounge

TildaKauskumholm · 08/12/2019 13:16

He's a twat for leaving a candle burning and not mentioning it. Assume the babysitter also did not see it until too late, but not her job to go round checking for open flames.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/12/2019 13:39

Good God op. Candles around children.
Thankfully it was only a cuddly toy that got burned.

speakout · 08/12/2019 13:47

Why do people assume the babysitter noticed it?

The OP and her OH didn't it's their house and they knew it was lit.

People's houses are full of all sorts of stuff- lamps, ornaments, several coffee tables and surfaces.

DurhamDurham · 08/12/2019 13:48

Who was in charge? The baby sitter. It was absolutely her fault. Unless she's blind

The babysitter was in the kitchen when they left, the little girl could easily have just ran ahead into the living room after they'd eaten which is enough time for her to have burnt the stuffed toy. Absolutely not the babysitter's fault at all, how was she to know that there was a lit candle. It's not something I'd assume.

daisypond · 08/12/2019 13:50

The babysitter should be with a young child at all times - except when in bed.That is what she is paid for.

Sherrybabyy · 08/12/2019 13:53

Your dh should have been responsible for making sure it was extinguished but I do think it’s daft that apparently no one in your house has given any thought to keeping naked flames out of the reach of your dc?
Absolutely

OverUnderSidewaysDown · 08/12/2019 13:55

Can’t wait for this fashion for smelly candles to be over. Why fill your air with particles that you then breathe in? Why increase your chance of a house fire? Bloody horrible things.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 08/12/2019 14:01

Poor babysitter and poor kid.

If I were her, I wouldn't agree to sit for you again.

PigletJohn · 08/12/2019 14:17

I can't see that naked flames are a good idea in any house, never mind one that contains children, or clumsy people, or forgetful people, or any people, or pets, or curtains.

Chapellass · 08/12/2019 14:29

Did DH tell the babysitter he'd left a lot candle around for DD to play with? If not, then yes he is at fault and I would be furious. If he did tell her, then I'd be furious with both of them. Totally irresponsible.

I have a friend who played with a lot candle as a young child, her pyjamas caught fire and she's had 27 operations over the years. The other day in a house near us a little candle was knocked over, it took 4 fire engines most of the night to get the fire out. The house is a shell.

Please tell your DH these stories, candles can be really dangerous and def shd not be on low surfaces around kids.

Chapellass · 08/12/2019 14:31

I just don't get why you are worrying about the bunny - your child could have been burnt!!

steff13 · 08/12/2019 14:38

Why do people assume the babysitter noticed it?

The babysitter's job was to watch the children. Had she been doing so, she would have noticed it. The same way the child did. Unless the OP's coffee table was so covered in stuff that the candle wasn't plainly visible, there's no excuse for the sitter not to have seen it.

Rezie · 08/12/2019 14:55

I had an image of your husband holding the bunny in his hand and torch in another then mafe your daughter sit on the couch and watch him burn the bunny. I was disappointed.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 08/12/2019 15:01

That’s a shame for DD, can you get another bunny?

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