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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DD2 to change her cat’s name

441 replies

busybarbara · 07/12/2019 17:15

I’m posting this on behalf of my DD who is too mortified. She’s expecting her own DC (my DGC) and had picked out a name that only a few of us knew. Let’s say it’s “Honey” (it’s not but just for example)

DD2 out of the blue has got a kitten and has named it Honey, of course.. Confused DD1 is mortified and has asked me to see if I can get DD2 to change the name of the kitten! AIBU to try to do this?

Yes I’ve seen all the “two names in the same family” threads and have no problem with it when it’s people but having the same name as an animal seems potentially offensive?

OP posts:
MummytoCSJH · 08/12/2019 20:30

Wow DD1 is a cow then isn't she! Bloody hell.Team I-hope-DD2-DID-do-it-on-purpose-and-keeps-the-name!

Aussiegirl88 · 08/12/2019 20:32

Omg that’s even worse! DD1 and him were trying to conceive a child TOGETHER now he’s having one with her sister! That’s heart breaking for dd1 no doubt she would’ve confided in you as her mother and her sister about her longing for a child and her sister goes and does this. Can’t say any of you would be welcomed in my life after that if I was dd1.

GreenBasket · 08/12/2019 20:34

Bloody hell OP. How on earth can you not see anything wrong with that set up?
He's dumped your daughter for more fertile sister. Grim.

VanyaHargreeves · 08/12/2019 20:35

That's awful. I'm surprised DD2 isn't NC with them! Shock

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/12/2019 20:36

Ooh, that's too close. Yuck!

MarleneandBoycie · 08/12/2019 20:36

My nephew has the same name as my dog. (He is adopted, so name was not picked by my sister) He is absolutely thrilled by it and finds it very amusing.

marble11 · 08/12/2019 20:36

Imagine shagging a man your sister shagged 🤮🤮🤮 vile.

PristineCondition · 08/12/2019 20:37

ShockShock

Original poster
busybarbara · 08/12/2019 20:37

Are you seriously saying that if you split up with someone but then a year later you were attracted to the brother (for example) that you should avoid anything happening as a sign of respect for the ex? I never really thought about it like that to be honest as I thought the time gap was respectful (it’s not like he jumped from one to the other) but that is a different vote for another day Confused

OP posts:
AllYouGoodGoodPeople · 08/12/2019 20:39

They were trying for children Shock
There was only a break of about a year between relationships Shock

And you have this man in your house?

Iconapop · 08/12/2019 20:39

I think dd2 has had to swallow enough hasn’t she? Dd1 has a terrible cheek asking you to ask this of her on top of everything else.

Each of your updates reveals more and more of the unpleasant and hurtful set of circumstances dd2 has been expected to blithely accept for the sake of retaining a connection with her family.

rowrowrowyaboat · 08/12/2019 20:41

Shockthey were ttc and now her sister is having his baby Shock its a shame jeremy kyle isnt still on, he'd have a field day with this Grin

GreenBasket · 08/12/2019 20:41

No OP, it's your daughter who is the wrong 'un! She's proper fucked her sister over. "Sorry you couldn't have kids with this guy; I'm going to though. Enjoy your kitten and be sure not to call it Honey".

MrsHardbroom · 08/12/2019 20:42

WTAF???? You can't see why this might have been a problem for your daughter who was there first and who tried to have a baby herself with this man?? Has your daughter not spoken to you about how she feels? I think it's pretty standard that siblings don't 'go there'. Anyway, if nothing else, the Fail are bound to be all over this like a rash....

ThunderR0ad78 · 08/12/2019 20:42

I'm really struggling to see how your DD has no problem having sex with a man that her sister has had sex with? I'm not judging and certainly don't mean to be argumentative but I genuinely find that absolutely gross! I'm talking the actual physical act, never mind the betrayal element and complications regarding fertility etc. I find that really disloyal.

whydoineedanickname · 08/12/2019 20:42

**Are you seriously saying that if you split up with someone but then a year later you were attracted to the brother (for example) that you should avoid anything happening as a sign of respect for the ex? I never really thought about it like that to be honest as I thought the time gap was respectful (it’s not like he jumped from one to the other) but that is a different vote for another day

Errm yes.

NearlyOutedMyself · 08/12/2019 20:43

This must be a wind up or a scriptwriters is testing a storyline out for a soap. Surely??

DamsonDress · 08/12/2019 20:43

I honestly didn't think anything of the sister ex thing, assuming it was kids stuff years ago or whatever but ttc?

And then going on to have a child with the other sister? That seems cruel. And after only a year. I'm

I think dd2 might appear aloof to hide the pain of her family thinking this is ok and not really recognising her feelings.

Dd1 and ex have done a shitty thing.

Butterymuffin · 08/12/2019 20:45

I'd be embarrassed to ask this of my daughter under the circumstances, and I would say that if she wants that of her sister she will need to ask her herself. (She won't.)

sparklefarts · 08/12/2019 20:45

Jesus feck!
How long was he with the first dd for?!

goose1964 · 08/12/2019 20:45

DD was going to name her baby Arwen if it was a girl,just like DS's cat. Luckily it was a boy but neither was fazed if it is been a girl

MamaWeGotThis · 08/12/2019 20:49

Poor DD2, let her keep the cat name. Her sister has taken everything else

DamsonDress · 08/12/2019 20:50

A year is no time.

And if my sister split with a guy because of infertility I can't imagine ANY amount of time would make it ok to then go on and have a baby with him myself.

Forget DD1 and her beyond insensitive gripes about a cat and give your other daughter a big hug. She deserves it.

Can't believe DD1 came to you about this. And you entertained her nonsense. Another kick in the teeth for dd2.

CalmFizz · 08/12/2019 20:50

Dd1 sounds like a deeply unpleasant character.

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/12/2019 20:50

My sister is living with an x, but there was a gap of 25 years. It was a bit odd but I figured with that gap and no contact it was none of my business. Your daughter's gap, we wouldn't be speaking, it's gross.