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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DD2 to change her cat’s name

441 replies

busybarbara · 07/12/2019 17:15

I’m posting this on behalf of my DD who is too mortified. She’s expecting her own DC (my DGC) and had picked out a name that only a few of us knew. Let’s say it’s “Honey” (it’s not but just for example)

DD2 out of the blue has got a kitten and has named it Honey, of course.. Confused DD1 is mortified and has asked me to see if I can get DD2 to change the name of the kitten! AIBU to try to do this?

Yes I’ve seen all the “two names in the same family” threads and have no problem with it when it’s people but having the same name as an animal seems potentially offensive?

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 08/12/2019 19:07

I don’t think it’s all that unusual, is it

I think it is fairly unusual. I wouldn't want to be with any of my DS exs and I wouldn't want either of them to be with any of mine. I only know of one person this has happened to and they both had a child with him which is even worse. I also know of 1 mother who ran off with her daughters fiance.

ThinkIamflyingundertheradar · 08/12/2019 19:10

I’ve had two cats called Emily. My brothers daughter is called Emily. My cats and his DD are called after the same Pink Floyd song. So far it hasn’t caused any confusion!

Aloe6 · 08/12/2019 19:18

I do know someone who married and had DC with their sisters ex. It is weird beyond belief and a bit grim. They’re divorced now

Team DD2. Can we have a photo of her kitten please?

mumda · 08/12/2019 19:20

My niece is called Sam. (Samantha)
I haven't yet pointed out that it was the name of the dog we had when we were kids. She's 14 now though...

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2019 19:22

@DangerMouse17 - as far as I can see, the only way you could actually stop one of your dds from going out with the other dd’s ex is to issue some sort of threat “If you bonk your sister’s ex, you will no longer be welcome in this family”, for example - and then be prepared to carry out your threat.

If they are both adults then, short of locking them in their rooms or disowning them completely, I fail to see how you could do much more than give your opinion/advice on the matter.

So what you said is pure hyperbole.

Chillyegg · 08/12/2019 19:27

Wow. Everyone just wow

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 08/12/2019 19:28

I don’t see the problem as it s very unlikely they are going to be in the same class at school.

Molly2016 · 08/12/2019 19:37

The idea of shagging one of my sister’s exes makes me want to puke.

DangerMouse17 · 08/12/2019 19:37

@19:22SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius no, If you've done your "job" it shouldn't even come to that. The sister should know better and not even think of being with her siblings ex as an option. It's really not that complicated! Millions of people on earth, she doesnt need to choose him quite frankly.

Anyway, has OP come back? It's probably all a wind up Grin

AllYouGoodGoodPeople · 08/12/2019 19:38

I named a DC after my childhood pet. Which confused my father, who clearly hadn't clicked that the cat sitting on the sofa with him and the new baby, wasn't the same cat from 25 years before. He said "won't that be confusing?" about the names, we pointed out it was not in fact the same cat, that there had been 3-4 other cats in the house since the cat with the same name had died - I don't think he'd noticed at all Grin

NiktheGreek · 08/12/2019 19:49

It is an unusual situation but not completely unheard of. A very close relative of mine married a man , had an affair with his brother then went on to marry him. Nowt weirder than folk.

thebluearsefly · 08/12/2019 19:54

Jesus! Who gives a fuck. One is a cat

Vanhi · 08/12/2019 20:12

If the two Shelly's don't get to meet, or even if they do, it does seem a bit of a non issue.

If they do meet, you get an effect similar to that when the Ghostbusters crossed the beams and when Marty McFly almost erased himself by meeting his father before he was born. Add a dash of what happens to gremlins when they get wet for the full effect.

IlsSortLaPlupartAuNuitMostly · 08/12/2019 20:13

An acquaintance of mine divorced his wife for having an affair with his brother - speculation was rife that his daughter was actually his niece. Now that definitely does cross the line.

FelicisNox · 08/12/2019 20:15

This is the weirdest thread I've seen in ages!

If their relationship is already awkward then I dare say they will rarely be in the same room at the same so it's a moot point.

Personally I would stay out of it. If you feel you should say something then you could say "oh lovely kitten, how funny that you've named your cat the same thing your sister has named her baby, what a coincidence!".

She will then have a choice over whether to change it or not.

I have to agree though.... marrying your sisters ex? Wow!

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 08/12/2019 20:15

Gobbolino.

The Ex's Cat

Brilliant!

(My kids loved those books - LOVED them! If I tried I could probably repeat them by heart. We wanted a cat to call Sootica, but we've never had a black one)

Original poster
busybarbara · 08/12/2019 20:16

Sorry for the lack of updates, we had a family event today. I’ve read all your responses though and have decided to keep out of it and have told DD1 it’s her problem to sort out. I’m not sharing the name though as it’s outing but it is not anything like Mittens(!) I think she will pick a new name in the end as it will only make things worse if it looks like she “stole” the name even when she didn’t

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 08/12/2019 20:18

It's fine. My daughter shared a name with a family member's cat for 13 years. They loved each other. Smile

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 08/12/2019 20:18

The idea of shagging one of my sister’s exes makes me want to puke.

Same here. Especially Trevor.

(I also want to see a picture of the cat)

ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas · 08/12/2019 20:19

Well one sister is gay and the others are a lot older than me so no, not an appealing thought.

HatingTheBigShow · 08/12/2019 20:22

Pleeeeease explain the boyfriend stealing OP

Original poster
busybarbara · 08/12/2019 20:25

And since a few of you asked for more info there’s not a lot I can add but DD2 and him were TTC for a while but it didn’t work out and they split up over it because she assumed he wasn’t able to have children. Well that clearly wasn’t the case but there was a gap of about a year between them breaking up and DD1 getting with him so I’ve never seen it as a problem although DD2 is a bit aloof about the whole thing but not hostile, we still do family Christmas together

OP posts:
Lizzie0869 · 08/12/2019 20:29

Stay out of it. I don't see the issue anyway. Unless they're very close (which probably isn't the case if DD1 is having a baby with DD2's ex), there's hardly going to be any confusion.

It seems that DD2 didn't know, so let her name her kitten what she wants.

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 08/12/2019 20:29

It must be very hurtful for DD2 though - not so much him getting together with DD!, but their having a child.

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 08/12/2019 20:30

*DD1, not DD!

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