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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DD2 to change her cat’s name

441 replies

busybarbara · 07/12/2019 17:15

I’m posting this on behalf of my DD who is too mortified. She’s expecting her own DC (my DGC) and had picked out a name that only a few of us knew. Let’s say it’s “Honey” (it’s not but just for example)

DD2 out of the blue has got a kitten and has named it Honey, of course.. Confused DD1 is mortified and has asked me to see if I can get DD2 to change the name of the kitten! AIBU to try to do this?

Yes I’ve seen all the “two names in the same family” threads and have no problem with it when it’s people but having the same name as an animal seems potentially offensive?

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 07/12/2019 17:17

Did DD2 know about DD1's intentions?

I think if not it's just one of those things and dd1 will have to choose something else, or go with it.

Drpeppered · 07/12/2019 17:17

Did DD2 know the name? If so, seems spiteful?

RhymingRabbit3 · 07/12/2019 17:17

YANBU the cat has no idea what its name is.

However I think you'll have to be honest and tell her why, dont try and get her to change it by stealth. If shes any sort of sister she wont mind.

Ellmau · 07/12/2019 17:19

Not offensive exactly but confusing. (Although I do know someone who was named after a parent's favourite childhood pet. It was not admitted to until many years later.)

If your DD1 won't tell her sister herself what she's naming her baby I suppose you'll have to. Surely DD2 would be happy to change if she knows this is intended to be baby's name?

SickNotes · 07/12/2019 17:21

Jesus, don't get involved. The daughter who's pregnant needs to communicate with the cat-owner without rerouting through their mummy...

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 07/12/2019 17:22

Are they sisters? Surely they can talk to each other?

IdiotInDisguise · 07/12/2019 17:22

Why can’t they talk?

pinkyredrose · 07/12/2019 17:23

What exactly is the problem?

diddl · 07/12/2019 17:24

She's expecting a child & can't talk to her own sister?

Did your youngest know the name?

Can't it be used anyway?

ItsChristmaaaaaaaaas · 07/12/2019 17:27

Don’t worry - I don’t think the two will get confused...

When we were kids my sisters friend had two dogs - one with my sisters first name and the second with our surname. Funny but not confusing!

lyralalala · 07/12/2019 17:28

Does DD2 know that’s what her sister planned to call her baby?

I’d ask DD2 to change if. If she’s unaware of the name her sister had chosen, and she’s a normal sister, she’ll likely change it straight away

However, if she already knew then it’s pretty spiteful and I’d definitely have something to say about that

Massivetree · 07/12/2019 17:29

This all depends on whether DD2 knew the name

Aquamarine1029 · 07/12/2019 17:31

Your DD1 is having a baby, so she should be mature enough to speak to her sister about the name.

eddiemairswife · 07/12/2019 17:37

My grandma was named after her father's favourite horse. (He was a coachman).

Itsallgonewoowoo · 07/12/2019 17:39

My DD is named after my DS's childhood teddy bear!

Original poster
busybarbara · 07/12/2019 17:39

I don’t think DD2 knew the name or at least she wasn’t meant to. Just parents and grandparents. Their relationship is a little awkward though as DD1’s husband (and father of the child) used to be DD2’s ex

OP posts:
LeftieLovegood · 07/12/2019 17:39

Ten to one the name is Luna!

FthisS · 07/12/2019 17:40

YABU...I named my first child after my cat the cat was very much still alive BlushGrin

CallmeAngelina · 07/12/2019 17:40

My parents had a cat with a "human" name that my sister and bil had always had at the top of their list if they had a daughter. Baby girl duly turned up and they continued with their plan. My mother was horrified ("you can't!") but they shrugged and said tough.
No one else had an issue - the vast majority of their friends and wider family didn't even know the bloody cat and it died anyway within a couple of years.
DNiece still has the (beautiful) name and the cat is long forgotten.

DamsonOnThisDress · 07/12/2019 17:42

DD1 should just tell DD2 she had picked that name for her baby, how did she feel about changing it, ha ha, etc.

I wouldn't ask on DD1's behalf - that's almost suggesting this Is A Very Big Deal when it doesn't need to be.

Unless you put both of them out at the same time every night for their business and there's some confusion calling them in. GrinBlush

JavaQ · 07/12/2019 17:43

Cats are lovely. The child may be delighted by it.
A colleague was named after her father's pet goat (hi there Chloe!) which I thought was wonderful.
Another colleague called her dog "Daisy" until she had a daughter, and changed the dog's name, but a cat is not going to come if you call it, so I dont think your daughter has any grounds for being overly worried.

And get your daughter to do her own dirty work FFS Grin

Seeingadistance · 07/12/2019 17:43

I have a friend who was named after her mother’s dog.

Purpleartichoke · 07/12/2019 17:43

I tend towards no one has ownership of a name until the moment of naming. Unless there is some special circumstance like Honey is also the name of a beloved friend who died and your dd wants to honor her by bestowing the name on her child, she just needs to accept the name has been used and pick something else.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/12/2019 17:43

Their relationship is a little awkward though as DD1’s husband (and father of the child) used to be DD2’s ex

Well, isn't that cosy? Something tells me the name change request will go over like a fart in church.

SunshineCake · 07/12/2019 17:43

Ah, so DD2 did do it on purpose...