£400 on eating out in one week - aibu?

[berki]

Just had a massive bollocking off of my dad who now thinks I am beyond irresponsible. I am a grown woman!

This is by no means a normal occurrence. I feel weirdly embarrassed and anxious now which is making it all the worse.

I've just started my first grad job in London - making good money (for a singleton at least). In my defence, there have been A LOT of Xmas meals and drinks this week and I've spoilt myself (going through a breakup). Could have gone for cheaper options but I've literally thought "fuck it". Have also ordered deliveroo for breakfast to cure a hangover - not sure I've ever done that before.

AIBU to think yeah it's a lot but as a one-off and in the context of Xmas it's understandable and my dad should back off - he's offered looking after my account! Don't see the point of being bad to feel shit about it now.

It isn't ideal but I can "afford" it for one month. Does seem a massive waste tbh.

If you'd been managing without overdraft for a year as a one off month I'd say fair enough. But as you've only been on top of things for 2 months....

A relative is subsidising your lifestyle. This usually comes with the expectation that you will not squander that advantage. You are far from being a fully independent adult OP.

^ this

Well, be an adult and stop telling your dad that you're in the red.

Although - if you're spending money you haven't got on eating out, that seems rather immature.

Your dad is right

Yes, it's a massive amount for one week, but if it's a one off and you know you can pay the overdraft back next month, enjoy it.

My parents didn't know my income and outgoings once I'd left home and got a job, and would have been horrified at the thought that they should do. It's none of your dad's business unless you're borrowing from him.

I was on your side until you said you were in your overdraft. So now siding with your dad, sorry.

I'm curious to know what Deliveroo delivers for breakfast?! I'm only familiar with food delivery comprising pizza, Chinese, Indian, etc.

Everyone does this (or similar, we’re not all gluttons) when they get their first well paid job

Er, no they don't, not everyone is a spendthrift, what a strange assumption

Once you’re in your overdraft regardless of how much it costs you it’s very hard to come out of it because you’re then short the next month, so you’re in the overdraft again and so on and so on.

How are you going to pay for living expenses until your next pay?

If you were my child I would sigh and roll my eyes and understand that some lessons must be learned the hard way.

@berki totally understand that based on London prices it’s not that hard to spend that much

The consequence is though you have less money next month if you intend to stay out of your overdraft next pay day And Christmas pay day usually comes early so it needs to stretch for longer so be careful

GLad you have enjoyed yourself though, if you want to have fab night out once a month just budget for it next time paying back debt even interest free variety still hurts

It's a crazy amount to spend but is what it is.

Your dad is an accountant, most accountants I've known are really shit with their own money

I’ve been there - don’t let your parents have access to your account. Realise it’s never easily rectified next month - it never is in London. I spent huge amounts on eating out, clothes, taxis, going out, etc and lived rent free and still got into Massive debt. Give yourself a really strict budget which includes ‘fuck it’ money and carefully monitor over 6 months. You may be doing great but probably you’ll be shocked at how it all adds up. Good luck

@BritWifeinUSA Well, we don't live in London for starters, or the south east. We live in a very poor seaside town in the north of the West Country. I'll send you a PM if that's okay with some suggestions on where to shop to keep costs down when you're over here.

and you are a sponging parasite because you are living in someone else's home*

A vile statement to insinuate, a family member has been kind and you appreciate it, hardly a bad thing.

Anyway, I can see both sides. You father is not wrong, he wants to make it clear this is not a responsible way to live and highlight a great opportunity you have to save a lot of money - in 2 respects it's his job one as your dad and it is literally his job 😀

But I can see as a one of to cheer yourself up, out of one months pay packet is not drastic, so long as you now reign it in, get out of your overdraft and keep saving into your ISA heavily while you have the chance with no mortgage.

It so easy for people to spiral with spending and debt becomes the "norm" , it's only 400 quid, then soon it's only 800 the 2k and it just becomes the norm and the numbers become that, just numbers. I am by no means saying this is your attitude it's probably just what your father is concerned about. Being an accountant he will see all sorts of financial situation and certainly not all good.

Wish he would just let me enjoy it and write it off as an anomaly. I've been responsible for the previous 2 months.

I am a grown woman!

But an irresponsible one and one he cares about so he is pulling you up on irresponsible behaviour.

Your dad tells you off so you come and ask a load of mums what they think?? Part of growing up is taking responsibility for yourself. I don't mean don't spend the money I mean make your own decisions and don't apologise for or explain them. You're an adult!!

Being honest, there's just a certain something about someone stamping their feet and declaring that they are a responsible adult so should be beyond reproach, when the only reason they have the cash in question is because someone else is letting them live somewhere for free. That's hardly adult responsibilities is it?

Have to agree with others. If you are in overdraft, then you are living beyond your means and that's not good. My daughter is only 8 years old and I hope she doesn't end up in this kind of situation. It's an irresponsible way of living.

If you are young and in your first Grad Job since graduating ,I can see where hes coming from TBH. The point is that you say its a "one off" but its surprising how soon you can get used to living it up ! Why not see if you can set a budget, say so much for food /expenses /and a little to save. With entertainment given a certain amount as well? this is good planning for the future anyway .Your Dad is only thinking of you and your well being and you said yourself £400.00 is a lot for 1week!

YANBU - I had no kids, no car and a Greta job in London and once spent £400 on two pairs of jeans. Loads of people had a massive go at me - why? Do what you want with your money...

And if it's an overdraft it's YOUR overdraft

They're called personal finances for a reason - it's personal.

You sound very childish, and you do sound like you need the help from your dad. You’re in debt over takeaways. Interest free or not, it is money you don’t have.

I picked YABU because

• it’s your first job
• you’re a young adult without much experience
• it’s not yet Christmas
• you yourself feel guilty about splurging so much
• your dad is worried about you

It’s great that you’re saving but it’s so so easy to get into the habit of living beyond your means. Just a little treat here and there adds up. I remember getting into trouble with credit cards around your age. The amount I frittered away was shocking.

Yes, you’re young and you want to have fun - but you’ll want to have fun in ten years and twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years from now. That will be easier if you get into good financial habits now.

By the way, I’ve reported other commenters for personal attacks. There’s no need to call you names. I hope you get everything sorted in the new year. Tell your dad you won’t spend so much again - but don’t share all the details of your account with him. Manage your money yourself, it’s yours to deal with.