£400 on eating out in one week - aibu?

[berki]

Just had a massive bollocking off of my dad who now thinks I am beyond irresponsible. I am a grown woman!

This is by no means a normal occurrence. I feel weirdly embarrassed and anxious now which is making it all the worse.

I've just started my first grad job in London - making good money (for a singleton at least). In my defence, there have been A LOT of Xmas meals and drinks this week and I've spoilt myself (going through a breakup). Could have gone for cheaper options but I've literally thought "fuck it". Have also ordered deliveroo for breakfast to cure a hangover - not sure I've ever done that before.

AIBU to think yeah it's a lot but as a one-off and in the context of Xmas it's understandable and my dad should back off - he's offered looking after my account! Don't see the point of being bad to feel shit about it now.

It isn't ideal but I can "afford" it for one month. Does seem a massive waste tbh.

but it ismt your money.you can afford it.this is an overdraft that doesnt make the sum of your own money.your are borrowing it wehther you are paying intrest or not.your in debt.i you kee spending like this then the debt will have doubled.this is how it works.
and ok as an accountant i can see your dad might be saying it in an overbearing work speak way.but hes right.and when dos someone who love you stop caring if your being irresponsible especially with money.
people who care ask questions!

cant*

1 month out of 3 isnt a blip though. There haven't been enough months to establish if it is a blip or not. And yes with no rent going into your overdraft is ridiculous when you consider at least £700 would be likely to have had to be rent if there was any to pay.

As you say, you don’t know if it’s a blip or not. Nor do you know how much she’s paying into the ISA. It could be at least the saved rent amount, and given what she says about her dad’s views I suspect it is.

But the OP, who does know these things, thinks she can cover the December overspend. So as long as she learns from this, sets up a buffer to smooth her cashflow and budgets properly for next Christmas season I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Well a accountant for your dad what do you expect!?

I think he means well and has your best long term intrests at heart like i do my DD's

And I'm not an accountant:)

How are you earning "good money", not pay rent yet four hundred quid takes you into over draft. Even with the savings.

Something doesn't add up there. Either you're spending more than you let on, or you're earning less than good money

Bluntness - she's saving as well.

As others have said £400 is a huge amount to spend in a week - it's not just "normal" Christmas socialising.

If I were your dad, my main concern would be that you are socialising with people who have more disposable income (or more debt) than you have. If you're constantly trying to keep up with this, this won't be a one off.

It’s just unfortunate that my Dad made me get a fixed ISA

^

Friggin child abuse again

Pesky daddy eh

You’re only young once and all that, so I don’t think you deserve a bollocking for this if it’s a one-off. However, I speak from bitter experience when I say: do be really careful about the overdraft. Students and graduates get offered 0% overdrafts because banks want us to get into the habit of using them, then before you know it you’re stuck in a cycle where your overdraft is maxed out a the end of every month and you just bob above zero again every payday.

I only dug myself out of mine a couple of years ago and it was such a horribly stressful way to live. I now have a ‘cushion‘ of spare money each month that I only dip into if I’m short and then top up again every month, so I treat it like my overdraft but in fact I stay in the black the whole time!

Just be careful!

Why are you posting this if you think it is ok ?

Imo - spend within your means. No more than you earn

Op going forward, pay 25% less into the non withdrawal Isa and pay that 25% into easy access savings for an emergency fund.

You are doing the right thing paying savings as a bill. I've always saved and always done this.

However you need to budget so you never use the overdraft. For next Xmas budget for a fund to spend in Dec enjoying yourself. You can do it all, just budget for it all.

So whilst I would never spend 400 on food and be in my overdraft doing so. You are right in that you position is good so pay off the overdraft next month, Redo your budget, sort savings and don't discuss with your dad.

flirtygirl I concur 100%.

You sound like an infant here.

Live within your means, spend what you can afford to. Have the odd blowout, we all did it.

I Don't see the problem quite frankly, other than a slightly controlling Dad.

Young people always resent parents being all up in their business as they're trying to become independent.

Parents always worry about their kids and persuade them to make sensible choices.

Twas ever thus!

Bluntness - she's saving as well

I know that, but she's in her over draft from a four hundred quid splurge, so this means she had less than that available. And she was good the previous two months apparently. Not sure about the month before that though

But either she's saving so much she has less than four hundred quid a month to spend on herself, including whatever was left over from the good months, or she's not on good money.,

Or she splurges a lot...

Bluntness - a lot of people have both savings an debt. Not all debt is bad, having a mortgage can be a good thing and an interest free overdraft is not a problem especially since she could pay it easily if she had instant access to her savings.
As I said before, it's more of a cashflow issue than a case of spending beyond her means.

Yabu. Massive waste of money for one person! Awful.

If you're earning "good money" and are "a grown woman" then why are you living rent-free? I don't know many grown women who live like this and then run themselves into their overdrafts by eating out. From that angle yabu.

Overall though I'd say yanbu, it's your money and your life.

Well it s not a one off splurge if you ended up in your overdraft. You clearly don't live within your means. If you are ok with that, fine.

Presumably it's not a sustainable lifestyle.
But living rent free and only paying bills means you probably have a lot of disposable income.
At the end of the day, your money and your choice.

I could spent that on Christmas meals as I always seem to have loads to go to but the difference is I don’t go into my overdraft doing it I wouldn’t do it if I got anywhere near my overdraft. I think yabu about going into overdraft and your dad is worried about you getting in debt which is understandable especially if he’s an accountant.

It's just unfortunate my dad made me get a fixed ISA as it would allow me a bit more flexibility.

I think he was quite wise actually. Perhaps he had an inkling that your money would burn a hole in your pocket. You do realise that it’s a whole lot quicker and easier to get into debt than it is to get out of it?

As an old middle aged woman with only my memories to keep me warm (and a teenager to keep), enjoy your meals! It’s not every week your doing it and you can do sensible boring shit when you’re older. Have fun! And stop telling your Dad anything

It's a crazy amount of money and obviously you can't do that again unless you are loaded. He is just looking out for you and is most likely very shocked you've been so frivolous.

You say you can afford it, but you're in your overdraft so you cannot afford it!