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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask school if being late just this one time could be changed on the register?

220 replies

Kimmykimkim36 · 05/12/2019 07:12

My son (7) has always had 100% attendance and punctuality at school. He also knows that at the end of term he gets a gold 100% badge and a certificate. He loves this!
I've been sick for the past 2 days and a lovely parent from school offered to bring him in, except on one of those days they got in around 5-10 mins late due to being stuck in traffic. AIBU to ask if this one episode of lateness could be changed on the register? He was so excited to be nearing the end of term, knowing he had been in on time everyday, but this one day of being late changes everything.

OP posts:
Walkaround · 05/12/2019 08:03

100% punctual attendance is never just luck and it is not just bad luck that makes some children late every day.

RedskyToNight · 05/12/2019 08:04

The rewards are doubly stupid because savvy parents will do things like pick their children up after afternoon registration on a Friday so they can go away for a long(er) weekend. This is not counted as absent and therefore these children still get attendance awards. Whereas a child that is 30 minutes late because their parent thought it was best to book their medical appointment first thing to be least disruptive, is discounted from them. [And yes, I struggled to explain the unfairness of this one to my DS]

Walkaround · 05/12/2019 08:04

Luck and commitment makes 100% attendance, not just luck.

Breathlessness · 05/12/2019 08:05

’You should be asking the school to stop rewarding children for something they can't control.’

That ^

It’s a perfect opportunity to teach him about fairness. Was it his fault he was late? No. He’s 7. It was out of his control. So why should other children be penalised for something that’s out of their control? You might as well hand out certificates to all the children who have blue eyes - that’s down to the parents they have too.

RedskyToNight · 05/12/2019 08:08

Luck and commitment makes 100% attendance, not just luck.

But generally the commitment of the parents at primary school age.
At DC's infants school there was massive correlation between children with 100% attendance and parents who were members of the PTA/volunteered at the school. So clearly being a member of the PTA makes your child less prone to being ill :)

ShakespearesSisters · 05/12/2019 08:08

Its crap isn't it, but I do think they could have a slightly longer cut off from being classed as late to absent, missing 10 mins of 3hrs is not exactly absent. But then I could also see how persistent lateness could cause problems in class.
I managed to get my daughter an apt with the mental health nurse but its tomorrow at 8.30. If she doesn't get to school before 9am she will be classed as absent for the whole session even though it might only be a minute past 9. If we miss the cut off we might take our time and have a hot chocolate before I take her in. She has had 100% attendance for 3 years and hasn't been late once and is also excited by the award they get at the end of the year for basically not being sick enough to have a day off.

Obligatorync · 05/12/2019 08:09

Oh come on! He's not going to go through his whole school life getting the award every time.
It's not his fault...that's why these awards are utterly ridiculous imo...but it's just a fact that he was late.

roses2 · 05/12/2019 08:09

What the school need to change is the 100% attendance badge not the policy of marking them late.

It is out of control of a 7 year old child if they are late (unless they are having a tantrum and won't get ready for school of course).

ballsdeep · 05/12/2019 08:09

Omg can't believe you're even asking that. It's a legal document, they'd laugh you our of the office.
Shit happens and its life.

PineappleDanish · 05/12/2019 08:09

Please don't ask them to do this. It's a ridiculous request.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 05/12/2019 08:11

I can understand awarding punctuality. It's encouraging good habits.
Never understood awarding attendance. Being ill is usually beyond control. My DD is about to have her fifth day off this term. 3 days for impetigo- cannot attend school for 48hrs after antibiotics. Yesterday she was sick- so that's another 48hrs off (I'm 90 percent sure she could attend today but it's not worth taking the risk of spreading it). All out of her control. She had 8 sick days last school year that I can recall. She's generally healthy but has had a real run of bad luck in 2019.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 05/12/2019 08:12

A girl in my dad's year was in local paper for having 100% attendance throughout primary and secondary education. Now that is impressive 🙂

Blindandfrozen · 05/12/2019 08:15

@Breathlessness

But there are some children who will not get the 100% attendance - the child with health problems who has to miss school for chemotherapy, dialysis, to see a specialist doctor in another city where you can’t pick and choose appointments in holidays or after school. Let’s just kick these kids down further by introducing awards which they will never win.

And let’s face it - getting the flu or chicken pox is just bad luck.

So yes, I would say that the kids who win these awards are already lucky

FamilyOfAliens · 05/12/2019 08:16

As a form tutor we regularly get emails saying the traffic has been bad / there's been an accident so don't mark the students as late...

How does this work? The parent emails the school after they have driven the child to school and the attendance mark has been recorded, and the form tutor goes in to the attendance system and changes the mark to present rather than late?

Our system (Sims) has a comment field so you can record why the child was late - surely that would be better than recording something false?

churchandstate · 05/12/2019 08:17

Don’t be daft. The register reflects what actually happened. What if, somewhere down the line, it is important to establish where someone was during a particular 5-10 minute period? Schools can’t mess with the facts like this.

BrokenWing · 05/12/2019 08:17

Should they also change all the other children's records who were only late one day, or off sick one day, or if it was because of something their parent considers acceptable?

The whole concept of an award for primary school children for 100% attendance is flawed, especially when it is out of control of the actual child.

Don't ask, you have no more grounds to ask for this to be changed than most other parents.

Obligatorync · 05/12/2019 08:18

The 'he knows he gets' worries me. Hard work doesn't guarantee success. It's still worthwhile.
Being prepared for that. Learning not to get a reward you expected but continuing to try. Those are good lessons.

my2bundles · 05/12/2019 08:19

No havingredients 100% attendence during primary and secondry is not impressive. They whete either lucky not to get sick or went to school sick infecting other children. One of my kids was off school due to an operation for a month, he kept up with his work and dedicated himself to catching up and overtaking once he was back in school. That was truely impressive not someone lucky enough to not get sick, that's just luck.

Beautiful3 · 05/12/2019 08:21

When i asked school what time is classed as late, (as I had just had a baby and was 5 minutes late to do the nursery drop off the first few weeks) they said 9.30am was the cut off. Talk to your son's school, dont ask them to amend it but just explain the situation.

lazylinguist · 05/12/2019 08:22

YABU. Being marked late doesn't mean 'late through your own fault'. It is a basic fact - you were either there on time or you weren't. Why should your son have the register altered? Are you assuming that none of the other children who are late have ever had traffic problems or other unavoidable reasons?

AFistfulofDolores1 · 05/12/2019 08:22

One of the challenges about being a parent is having to come to terms with the fact that we can't protect them from disappointment - which can feel horribly uncomfortable. So this is about learning to manage your own feelings, while being there so your son can manage his.

Breathlessness · 05/12/2019 08:25

Blindandfrozen, did you mean me?

ElluesPichulobu · 05/12/2019 08:26

yabu. schools shouldn't give out rewards for being lucky. your son is already winning at life from being so extraordinarily healthy and having a dedicated and capable mum who gets him to school on time and is teaching him the value of education. that puts him streets ahead of peers the same age and sets him on a path to long term prosperity and wellbeing. he does not need a certificate too.

JoGose · 05/12/2019 08:28

YABU, he was late. I don’t think schools should have awards for attendance, kids can’t help being ill and it makes those who are ill feel shit.

JustOneSquareofDarkChocolate · 05/12/2019 08:28

Yet again I’m so glad my children’s school doesn’t have anything so ridiculous as attendance awards (as others have said - rewards for healthy children, parents and everything running smoothly at home)

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