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Original poster

AIBU to think Melania Trump is quite impressive, in a way?

294 replies

Defenbaker · 04/12/2019 23:06

It can't be easy being married to a man like Donald Trump, and it can't be easy being in the public eye so much, but Melania Trump seems to take it all in her stride.
She is always immaculate in her appearance, and always looks so poised and calm, that I can't help being a bit impressed by the way she handles her role.

I realise she's probably had work done, and maybe she's a slave to botox, but I think she is quite striking and beautiful. Just one thing though - I wish she'd stop wearing the stupidly high heels - all her shoes seems to have 6inch heels and sometimes she looks a bit unsteady, especially when negotiating steps.

I'm not keen on her husband, but AIBU to think MT is doing a good job of being First Lady?

OP posts:
Original poster
Defenbaker · 05/12/2019 00:52

@Rombocious - I did reread your post and see what you mean now. Apologies for misunderstanding.

Voting is massively against my view, so maybe I see her through different eyes.

As a PP said, she is something of a "trophy wife", and it's true that she hasn't done any major charitable work during her role as First Lady, but it's not mandatory to do such things and I think DT has probably defined her role for her, to a large extent, and she has gone along with it to keep the peace (while enjoying a high standard of living).

I don't see her as a role model, but I think she has a certain catwalk poise about the way she presents herself. Apparently she speaks 5 languages, so she is obviously quite bright. If she really does hate her husband, life must be very miserable for her right now. Maybe once the 2020 campaign is over they will quietly divorce? Or if he wins, maybe he will pressure her to stay, to keep up appearances and keep playing the role? So, she is something of a bird in a gilded cage. I envy her beauty, but don't envy her position.

OP posts:
Rombocious · 05/12/2019 01:18

"Voting is massively against my view, so maybe I see her through different eyes."

That's a pretty weird sentence. But so is expressing so much admiration for someone for being born with a great body. That doesn't make her a good person, it makes her lucky.

Original poster
Defenbaker · 05/12/2019 02:12

@Rombocious - fair point, she was born lucky in the looks department. Mind you, so are lots of other people, but they don't all reach the age of 49 with such a trim figure, so she has probably worked quite hard with diet and fitness to maintain what Mother Nature gave her.

I didn't say that her beauty makes her a good person, I was just saying that I think she presents herself well and handles public life quite well.

I was very thin during my teens/early 20s, and had a reasonably pretty face. However, during my 30s I gained weight and I have struggled and failed to lose the extra 2 stone that I've carried for the last decade, so I do admire people who manage to keep trim and fit into their 40s and beyond. She has succeeded where I (and many others) have failed. So, my own body issues are perhaps colouring my view a bit. Maybe that makes me weird, or maybe just a flawed human, like everyone else.

OP posts:
Medievalist · 05/12/2019 02:33

Blimey op - it's a bit superficial to be so impressed by anyone because of their looks and demeanour. But the First Lady?!!!! You seem to be suggesting that her role is simply to look good and carry herself well?

Hugsandpastries · 05/12/2019 02:59

Something that she’s done which did seem a bit out

Hugsandpastries · 05/12/2019 03:04

Aargh clicked post by accident. A bit out of order... the jacket she wore that said ‘I don’t really care. Do u?’ to visit a children’s centre that housed some migrant children. She later claimed it was a message to left wing media. Even if that was true, a pretty insulting thing to wear to meet those children.

Warpdrive · 05/12/2019 03:17

I like her too OP, Ive heard her deliver a couple of speeches and she comes off as very compassionate and gentle actually.

She has handled a lot of criticism and embarrassment with grace and dignity.

Something captivating about her but I cant put my finger on it....

TristmasChree · 05/12/2019 03:23

I was impressed to hear she's never eaten a mince pie!

nachthexe · 05/12/2019 03:28

I just assume her contract ties her in until he’s out of office. I do a lot of work with girls and young women, including running discussions on strong female leaders, role models etc. No one has ever mentioned her as an example of someone to look up to. I thank fuck for that, really. And in all honesty, if anyone brings up a model as an option, we deconstruct the idea. Are looks important? Should what you look like be important? We chat about peer expectations, social pressure, and conformity that is actively damaging for women as a class.
I’m struggling to see why looking pretty, doing what she’s told, and shutting the fuck up are admirable qualities if I’m honest.

sobeyondthehills · 05/12/2019 03:29

This country loves dynasties, especially Republican dynasties. It’s likely (not just possible) she will be President one day. Melania’s job is to prime the female Republican vote for Ivanka. Sarah Pailin was the rough cut

Which I always find weird considering they started a war to get rid of a dynastie

Rombocious · 05/12/2019 03:38

Well said nach.

I also think beyond their marriage contract their son Baron is kind of a hostage. If she divorces him he can almost certainly demand joint custody and may try to punish her through their son. Your average man would not do this. But Trump might be the most petty, self-centred person of our era.

Jossina · 05/12/2019 03:47

@Rombocious I think the most petty, self-centered people of our era are those that enable and empower him.

Ponoka7 · 05/12/2019 03:54

"Apparently she speaks 5 languages"

Three of them are what we're spoken around her as a child. Then there's English and supposedly another one. She has never demonstrated that she speaks all of them and her English is only passable when she is scripted. Which is why she doesn't speak.

I don't know if it was just money that attracted her to DT, or that he was powerful enough to get her family US Citizenship.

I don't blame any woman for doing anything to get themselves and vulnerable family members out of certain countries.

I have female friends from all over Africa and I know how life can be and how their culture promotes women to sell themselves and how they are products of their environments.

It's great us debating aspiring women, but we do that with the gift of choices. Women in some countries have to work with what they can and MT is beautiful. So she did what she could with that.

Her figure will be largely genetic but with disciplined eating.

If you compare her to Princess Diana, who became more and more unstable, then, OP, I get were you are coming from.

DT is an extremely powerful man and there's no way that she could just leave him. She seems to have a close relationship with her son and no doubt that is what she clings, on to.

She didn't sign up for the role that she now has and all things considered, including her being boo'd off stages etc, she is holding it together.

texasgurl · 05/12/2019 03:54

I don't think you can be a good FLOTUS if you hoped you didn't get the job. Insiders have said that they were both in shock the night that he won. She apparently broke out in tears at the news. She seems like an unhappy person who is making the best of the situation. It seems like she's trying to muscle through this until he leaves office. I wouldn't be surprised if she asked for a divorce afterward. I'm not a fan of Trump, but she has my respect for seeing this through, and for protecting her son from the public. My guess is that she thought she would marry this rich celebrity and they would be able to live out their lives in private.

texasgurl · 05/12/2019 03:58

Ponoka7 This is the truth. We are judging women like her from a place of privilege. So many other women in the world have few options.

kateandme · 05/12/2019 04:10

doesnt seem impressive to me.becasue why has she married a man so vile.there is nothing redeeeming to him. he only has money and power.therefore if she has married him for this then bluh no she is a tit.

kateandme · 05/12/2019 04:14

but of course if she is trapped by this powerful abusive man.if she is unhappy but has done this to save her son, or her family. or is being controlled by him then i am very very sorry for her.and thats a bit heartbreaking for anyone to have to go through so i wish for her to one day be free of him.

Bluerussian · 05/12/2019 04:27

Melania always looks to me as though she is in a glass jar, things go on around her but she isn't part of them. I don't see her as a happy woman except for her son to whom she is devoted.

Of course she looks fine in her way and is very much 'the Donald's' type but if you look at photographs of her from years ago, you can see she had personality then. Being the wife of a prominent politician has stifled that, she just floats and doesn't engage. She's not real.

Poor little rich girl.

Rombocious · 05/12/2019 04:30

Women in bad situations doing what they have to to get out is completely understandable.

But I feel it's ludicrous to suggest she had to marry Trump to get out of Slovenia (which is not exactly Somalia or North Korea). She wanted to marry a billionaire, not just someone with a US passport. Which doesn't her bad, just quite greedy.

I do pity her situation, but don't think anyone should aspire to be her.

flyingspaghettimonster · 05/12/2019 04:34

She is awful. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but then she wore that coat with "I don't care" emblazoned on it and I realised she wasn't worth empathy. Yes, she lioks pretty and well dressed. Congrats to her. How she will improve the world with her sleek hair and clothes.

Ithoughtsoo · 05/12/2019 04:38

NegroniOnIce What did Michelle Obama do? Whilst you explaining that also explain what did her husband do? Seriously head to head on things that mater like the economy and unemployment Trump has been by far the better president. These are facts feel free to look them up but I am sure you wont.

Jillyhilly · 05/12/2019 04:45

What did Michelle Obama do?

Marry a malignant narcissist who became one of the most divisive presidents ever?

mathanxiety · 05/12/2019 04:52

I don't blame any woman for doing anything to get themselves and vulnerable family members out of certain countries.

Yugoslavia wasn't exactly the worst place to grow up in. Slovenia wasn't too bad either. Her parents didn't work at the coal face.

mathanxiety · 05/12/2019 04:54

These are facts feel free to look them up but I am sure you wont.

Feel free to look them up?

Pray tell where exactly (LOL).

mathanxiety · 05/12/2019 04:57

Barack Obama was only 'divisive' in the sense that many Americans couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that a black man was now being addressed as 'Mr. President'.

Or the fact that a black woman in the White House wasn't there to load the dishwasher and push a vacuum cleaner around, and didn't use the staff entrance.

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