....to think that going on UC would be better than going back after maternity leave?

[TheDelorean81]

Long time lurker but this is my first post so please be nice to me :)

Basically I don’t know what to do. My little boy is two months old and I’ve starting to look at what will happen when I go back to work next spring. After costing up childcare in the area I’m in I’d basically be paying to go back! We’d lose my entire income from the family pot.

My partner works different shifts each week so finding a different job to work around his so we can share childcare is out of the question.

My question is this. Would I be unreasonable to go on Universal Credit for a year (ish) until the free childcare element kicks in and I can afford it? Or until my partner can find a better job to support us? Or until I can find a better job that works? My family and my partners family are all saying I should (they’re all very high earners and reckon I’m should make use some of their taxes....not sure what to say to that!), but I just feel that it’s not what benefits are there for?

But in the same vein I’m struggling to see another option.

Anyone else here with personal experience?

I'm in the same predicament and really low income in my job (school work which is ideal around my older son!) means I would actually be out of pocket even claiming childcare expenses. Theres also no career prospect so I'm not returning but going to finish up my degree so when I do go back to work I can be in a far better earning potential.

Could your partner stay at home and look after your child and you return to work?

'Childcare is a much as she would earn. That doesn’t matter whether it comes from his/her wage its a loss from household income. You’re just picking at the way it’s phrased!'

Yes, a loss from the household income so why not consider all of the income sources, and not just the ops? Yes, the childcare costs may be equivalent to ops income, just as say the increased grocery bill might equate to her dps, but I've seen (personally) how equating childcare with the women's wage slides into the mental association of taking time off when child sick, mum (and not dad) called from school re sickness etc...

Did you not calculate how you were going to pay for your child before you had one?

You do know that if everyone did that, we would have a population crash as few people can afford childcare for more than 1 child.

Yes. What a nightmare it would be if we had fewer humans on the planet.

Every year out of the workforce is a year you are behind when you go back IMO

This only applies to those in well paid careers. For the majority of people it's irrelevant.

The view that both parents of children under 3 should be in full time work is fortunately not supported by the benefits system. There is a sliding scale of expectation with the main carer of a child under 1 not expected to be doing anything to look for work.

I agree with other PP's saying that benefits isn't a lifestyle choice.

Your family saying to 'use some of their taxes' oh I'm sorry are they the only ones paying into the tax system? Do they alone cover your £600 odd a month you'd be getting from benefits? No, they don't.
If you don't want to go back to work just be honest but don't abuse the system whilst doing it.

OP I decided to give up work after having my DS (very much a pfb which was a bit of a surprise as he was an accident!) we were lucky my DH was in the army and the subsidised rent meant we could afford it, i now have 2 school aged children (9 and 6) and returned to work part time (school hours term time only) in exams and I love it. I have a brilliant work/life balance and I wouldn’t trade those childhood days in with my kids for anything.

Opting to be a stay at home parent really isn’t the doom and gloom some people make it out to be.

If you aren't married and break up the years out of work, loss of income, loss of pension etc are ignored. If you are married your contribution to household is considered by the judge.

Don't give up work if you are not married, it puts you in such a vulnerable position.

I wouldn't ever give up work, it van knovk your confidence when its time to go back, or you may struggle to get a job because of gap.

Also your partner will get used to you doing majority of child related things, so you'll have a battle to get him to take leave when child is sick etc in the future.

Just read the 100's of threads of here and you'll see plenty of women who have ended up in these situations.

@ArabellaDoreenFig nobody's saying staying at home is doom and gloom. We're saying she shouldn't do it if the only way she can afford it is to apply for benefits

Can you even claim UC when you’ve resigned from your job and thus seen to have contributed to your reduced circumstances?

OP has a child under 1 so is not expected to work or look for work.

@ferrier well she can take maternity pay for the first 9 months then suck it up for 3 months. Then bobs your uncle, 12 months in and she's expected to be working

My nursery is £6.50 an hour and it's an expensive one. Most nurseries and childminders are cheaper. Surely even taking deductions into account then you're earning more than that on minimum wage?

@ArabellaDoreenFig there is absolutely nothing wrong with being at home looking after a child. Nothing at all.

It’s the deciding to go on UC to pay for it rather than working that’s the issue!

Especially the “I don’t want to pay someone else to look after my little one” - but it’s ok for the state to pay for her to look after her little one???

I was out of work for 15 years and have had no difficulty getting a job. It's a slightly lower level than the one I left but totally worth the small sacrifice to be able to spend the time with my children as they grew up.
State pension entitlement is covered by NI credits which go up to age 12.

well she can take maternity pay for the first 9 months then suck it up for 3 months. Then bobs your uncle, 12 months in and she's expected to be working

Nope. Work focussed interviews with the work coach for the next year. Then work related activity for the following year. Only from age 3 is she expected to look for work and the hours will be adjusted to fit around child care.

You see it’s threads like this that make me so angry.

There are so many benefit bashing threads. Benefits are there to help people genuinely in need. As a safety net for poor health, or job loss. And they get relentlessly bashed.

This thread is the exact reason why the bashing happens. Universal credit isn’t a choice because you don’t want to work. It’s there to help people. Don’t abuse it!!!!!!!

Especially the “I don’t want to pay someone else to look after my little one” - but it’s ok for the state to pay for her to look after her little one???

Either the state pays her or the state pays the childcarer .......

@Frenchw1fe

Children for the wealthy only

^ Ah yes, the human equivalent of a daily mail headline 😬
‘People should be financially responsible’ - instant jump to overly dramatic dystopian reality as concept of taking responsibility too much to process!

You do not need to be wealthy or rich to plan ahead and save enough to mitigate the loss to childcare which you’ll suffer for what...approx 12-15 months between finishing maternity and childcare funding kicking in.

Anybody who says otherwise has distorted priorities. Lots of families manage on lowing incomes and get by. It’s possible - try not to fall off your chair with shock!

But it does require consideration, planning and prioritising.

@ferrier did you claim benefits for 15 years?

Do you own your home?

No.
Second question is irrelevant.

Don’t wait for him to get down on one knee! You’ve had a baby with this man, have an adult conversation about how marriage is necessary to protect your position if you give up work. If he’s genuinely committed to you, he’ll be happy to marry you. Buying a ring means nothing legally, you’re just boyfriend and girlfriend.

And then have another conversation about how you’ll sort childcare between you if marriage doesn’t happen - he doesn’t get to opt out and leave all the grunt work to you.

These conversations should have happened already tbh. Protect yourself, OP.

@ferrier it's very relevant if you're relying on a state pension as you're not going to be able to afford rent, bills and any quality of life

We are in the same position, partner in a basically minimum wage job, 2 kids and we already have uc. Me going back to work they would pay 85% childcare. Basically uc currently give us around 600 per month, if I went back to work part time and paid 3 days child care I would have an extra 20 per week. Uc would be around the same as we get now with childcare then included so we've decided i stay at home. Not the right thing to do as such in terms of having government top ups but they would still be giving us pretty much the same anyway. So I stay at home with the kids for a few years recieving the same government top up as they would give us if I was working part time. Part time only because my oldest has additional needs so that's all I could do anyway.

You will get judged whatever you do sadly this is the society we live in now so do what works for you.

If you are just breaking even by going to work and you dont need to return for career progress then stay at home and be grateful we live in a country that supports this option.

I say this as someone who went back to work even though we would be better off if I didn't. On paper we would break even but actually working costs - travel costs, clothing, tea fund, birthdays, extra day care in school holidays etc.. it's a never ending cycle of paying out. I am lucky dh is a higher earner and picks up all of the childcare costs but a crack in my windscreen means I am going to have to find 100 for my excess now in december. Not to mention work christmas lunches and so on.

It's a personal choice and really none else's business and if it drops you into an income level that entitles you to UC then that's what it is there for.

Don’t wait for him to get down on one knee! You’ve had a baby with this man, have an adult conversation about how marriage is necessary to protect your position if you give up work.

Yes. The whole ring/proposal thing is kind of a schoolgirlish pretence once you have a baby, isn't it?