....to think that going on UC would be better than going back after maternity leave?

[TheDelorean81]

Long time lurker but this is my first post so please be nice to me :)

Basically I don’t know what to do. My little boy is two months old and I’ve starting to look at what will happen when I go back to work next spring. After costing up childcare in the area I’m in I’d basically be paying to go back! We’d lose my entire income from the family pot.

My partner works different shifts each week so finding a different job to work around his so we can share childcare is out of the question.

My question is this. Would I be unreasonable to go on Universal Credit for a year (ish) until the free childcare element kicks in and I can afford it? Or until my partner can find a better job to support us? Or until I can find a better job that works? My family and my partners family are all saying I should (they’re all very high earners and reckon I’m should make use some of their taxes....not sure what to say to that!), but I just feel that it’s not what benefits are there for?

But in the same vein I’m struggling to see another option.

Anyone else here with personal experience?

There's no way I'd become financially dependent on someone I wasn't married to. If he walks out you'll be screwed. Go back part time even if you're only breaking even. It'll make it easier to go back to full time if you need to. I work 3 days a week and I actually really love those days in the office where I can feel like me for a bit and don't hear 'mummy!' 18,000 times a day.

YANBU. As there is every little real help with sky-high childcare costs, the government should expect people will have to go onto benefits as it is unaffordable for the vast majority of people, especially if they have more than one child.

Many people in your situation will have the number of children they want in a short time period and spend the early years as a SAHP before trying to go back to work when the youngest starts school as this is the quickest and cheapest way to get through those early years.

Can you even claim UC when you’ve resigned from your job and thus seen to have contributed to your reduced circumstances? You can’t with jobseekers allowance but maybe UC is different.

Why would you be paying to work?

You pay 50% of childcare and your partner pays 50% of childcare costs left over after any help available towards nursery costs.

As a low earner even if the relationship did break down you would be able to claim benefits, in your position not being married wouldn’t be an issue for me as it seems there aren’t many assets that solely belong to your partner.

@Kpo58 maybe people should stop having children they can't afford then.

Benefits are there for people who need them, not people who just think they're an easy option.

Did you not calculate how you were going to pay for your child before you had one?

what hours does your partner do? If you work in a call centre you could work evenings/weekends so he can look after your little one.

A pedantic point perhaps, but why are you seeing it as your wage that would be swallowed up by childcare bill? Surely the childcare pot relates to both you and dps joint incomes? Is do looking at the impact on his wages/working patterns of having a baby? Is shift work ideal now that life has changed?

I understand why this is tempting.
I understand why this makes sense for you and your family.
But the U.K. has a real problem with people choosing the benefit system rather than work - for exactly the reasons you’ve noted.

These threads are also full of so much wilful denial on both sides. Some posters assume that everyone has a career, and that they mustn't fall off the ladder (if you're not earning more than childcare costs then you're not exactly on the track to the top, are you?), but there's also a lot of people assuring the OP that it'll be easy to get work in the future without knowing if that's true. You always see lots of 'oh, I'll find something local and school hours when they're older' on these threads, and relatively few people who have in fact done that and so know that those jobs are not actually all that plentiful and they're often very competitive.

A pedantic point perhaps, but why are you seeing it as your wage that would be swallowed up by childcare bill?

Quite. Your child's father should be paying half, surely?

I wouldn't, personally, but I suppose you're within your rights.

Threads and attitudes like yours OP are exactly why people who would probably naturally be a labour voter are actually planning to vote Tory. Because they’re sick of people who can and should work are choosing benefits as a lifestyle choice rather than a back up plan when life goes to shit.

Every person on MN who points out ‘why are you just seeing it as your wage?’ Makes me die a little inside!!!! 😡

Childcare is a much as she would earn. That doesn’t matter whether it comes from his/her wage its a loss from household income. You’re just picking at the way it’s phrased.

• OP can I add that although I understand your situation. As I said above ^ I do find it frustrating when parents say ‘I’ve priced up childcare to return to work and realised I can’t afford it - so May have to go on benefits’

Being able to afford childcare isn’t a secondary consideration. Arguably if you could afford childcare/ to be able to return to work and would become dependent on benefits you actually couldn’t afford to have DS and shouldn’t have done.

It’s a bit like saying ‘So I’ve bought a new car but just realised I can’t afford the monthly payments’ 😬

I try to have sympathy but I know a lot of women currently in their early/mid thirties who would love a baby and are having to wait/save as they can’t afford that first 2 years of non funded childcare yet. Whilst others (like you) just go ahead and have the child and then consider the financial repercussions when it’s too late.

*couldn’t

@LisaSimpsonsbff it doesn't matter if she's on the career ladder. Once baby reaches two she'll be entitled to 15 hours free childcare.

She'll be in a much better place work wise if she slums it at work with little pay for a year or 2 - and it means she'll still pay her NI & pension contributions too.

UC don't usually pay out if you leave employment because they expect you to be looking for work. Personally I would go back to work and budget whilst looking for another job.

I never understand people who have a baby first then panic when they start looking at childcare costs - surely you factor it into your initial decision to have a baby?

The benefits system is in place to support people who can’t work, not people who make lifestyle choices to sit at home! You should absolutely work

If you can afford to pay for childcare then I personally think you have a responsibility to work rather than claim benefits. They are meant to be a safety net, not so you can make lifestyle choices.

I think you will find it hard to get a job after being out of work.

@TheRightHonerable
Children for the wealthy only!

Most people would not have children if they waited until they could afford them.

A pedantic point perhaps, but why are you seeing it as your wage that would be swallowed up by childcare bill?

I hate it when people say that. What the OP is probably actually telling is that once both wages are added together and the childcare is deducted, they cannot pay the bills. In that situation then it's normally better for the lower paid one to temporarily give up their job, if the bills aren't more than the higher earners salary. Few people can condense jobs into 4 days or be more flexible or have random free childcare on call, etc

Did you not calculate how you were going to pay for your child before you had one?

You do know that if everyone did that, we would have a population crash as few people can afford childcare for more than 1 child.

@Frenchw1fe but she can afford childcare, she'd just be worse off financially (like everybody in the world...)

She just thinks she's entitled to free money because it's easier.

Check your eligibility for help with childcare costs. You may well be entitled to get the majority of your childcare costs paid by UC which would change the situation a lot.

I wouldn't want to end up in a situation where I was entirely dependent, so even if you could work a couple of days a week that would give you the foot in the door if your DP left you.

If you aren’t married, think very very very carefully before you give up work.

Because if your partner splits with you, you will be left with the grand total of fuck all. Except child maintenance and that’s if he decides to pay it.

You will making yourself vulnerable.

Also by leaving work - you are losing your NI and pension contributions. So whilst childcare might just be covered by your salary, you’ll still get NI and pension and that’s still worth something.

And also the wailing of “I do want to have to pay someone else to look after my little one” isn’t a justification for going on UC.

And a previous poster has it exactly- it’s these kind of people that are hateful towards those who earn more and should pay more tax.

I don’t like sending my children to nursery, but we have a mortgage to pay and food to buy. Besides it’s not forever. Funded childcare kicks in and then school

So make sure you investigate everything first, otherwise it’s all to easy to find yourself in the cycle of unemployment and benefits

I stayed home with mine until they were in primary, but we managed without tax credits because we lived overseas at the time and ex pats can't claim benefits. I think kids need I have a parent home but I'm uneasy about getting us to pay for it, surely you plan for it? I used savings to cover the shortfall, lived really frugally and took work at home jobs/became a building complex manager with free live in accommodation so I didn't need childcare. There are alternatives to 9-5.