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Original poster

To be fucked off about my Saturday night

158 replies

Quebeth · 30/11/2019 21:48

I’m just looking for a rant and some solidarity if I’m honest.

My kids are 2 and 5. They are good girls but fucking shite sleepers. Usually DH deals with one at bedtime and I deal with the other. DH is out on a rare night out tonight and the pair of them are taking the utter piss.

The two year old has just gone over. The five year old is having a tantrum (overtired) because she “hates sleeping” so I am lying in bed with her while she rolls around and moans at me.

All over Facebook people are out enjoying their Saturday night. I haven’t even had my tea yet let alone a glass of wine. And when she finally goes to sleep I’ll go and clean the fucking kitchen then go to my bed.

I am so so tired of the drudgery. There is no fun any more. Even when we get babysitters the five year old is always fucking still awake when we get home so we can’t relax and it’s not worth it because we still have to do the bedtime battle after a night out.

I’m about ready for leaving tonight.

OP posts:
SlothOfSluggishness · 01/12/2019 00:41

Sell the little tinkers on eBay and be all, “should we think about starting a family?” when DH gets home.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 01/12/2019 01:11

Use the supernanny technique and stick to it, even if it takes weeks.

the 5 years old is too old to be carrying on like that.

mrssoap · 01/12/2019 07:54

Sleep train. It's so much easier when they are younger but you can still do it super nanny style. You will need your dh to help. Try to start when you don't have loads of important stuff the week after.

Put them to bed normally. When they get out you pick them up And put them in bed, don't speak to them, don't make eye contact just walk away. You have to keep doing this until they give in. Could be hours but you have to keep with it!
Otherwise you can carry on as you are and they will grow out if ur eventually. It's tough.

Vulpine · 01/12/2019 08:03

Why you even looking at facebook if it just makes you resentful

vincettenoir · 01/12/2019 08:09

That sounds really hard. Just hold onto the fact that it won’t be like this forever.

ssd · 01/12/2019 08:15

Jesus there's some amount of Utter crap on this thread. I wonder if some of you actually have kids?? 5 is too old to be carrying on like that 🤣🤣🤣🤣, 5 is the perfect age to be carrying on like this!!!

Op, its normal, completely normal. They drive you nuts. End of. Don't ever stop coming on here for a rant and support, if you can sift through the crap, you'll see your dd is doing what millions of little people are doing at night.

And do you know what, when she's grown up like mine and you are back to getting all the sleep you want, you miss it Blush

ssd · 01/12/2019 08:17

Super nanny is successful cos they're not her kids. When I nannied I could get the kids to eat veg and sleep at the right times. I couldn't get my own to do this. Other folks kids are a piece of piss!!!

Skyejuly · 01/12/2019 08:19

Totally agree with ssd. Also remember the ones who have to post what they are doing etc probably have the worst lives and they are trying to sound more exciting.

Mlou32 · 01/12/2019 08:19

No wonder she's telling people to F off, she was having a shit night and just wanted to vent and was basically being told that's just how it is; which basically meant tough deal with it. If people didn't want to either give advice or just let her vent then they shouldn't have commented. I don't blame her in replying the way she did out of sheer frustration that other people were being dicks.

It is bloody tough and you are allowed to miss your independence and fun Saturday nights. And it helps to just vent about it if you're feeling particularly crap/fed up.

Loopytiles · 01/12/2019 08:21

Agree with PPs suggesting trying out different sleep strategies.

amiapropermum · 01/12/2019 08:22

I used a sleep consultant (no CIO) when DS was 13 months. It just gave me the confidence to make small, gentle changes and stick to them. I'm a single parent so I had nobody to help but also had nobody to disagree with me! It made such a difference to us. He's happier all round because he's well rested. I'm also getting a bit of time to myself and some sleep too

dottiedodah · 01/12/2019 08:25

Why havent you had any tea yet? Obviously LO have ! Maybe all eat together about 6.30 .See if they can go to bed a little later on maybe ?ATM order a takeout ,Leave the kitchen ,and have a nice glass of something ! (Also can you go out with your friends sometimes as well?) Kids always know when you are tired and will play on it !)

OneDay10 · 01/12/2019 08:26

I might have missed it on the thread but what is their typical day like? What is their bedtime routine.
We were very relaxed wrt ds bedtime and this set us up for a nightmare around bedtime. Now we are in a set routine and its bliss. He was also acting up like your 5yo but when it clicked with him that it's our way and no budging he just started sleeping properly. He is 3yo and needs me to sit with him. So we compromised that I will sit with him but outside the door where he can see me. He felt in control.
Hes now asleep in 5 minutes and sleeps through the night.

I have done sleep training with a consultant twice, two different people. Both times the first thing they do is go through the routine.

TartanMarbled · 01/12/2019 08:29

You poor thing. Don't mind the others, it's not "meant" to be hard (what martyrdom!). Just sleep train them both. Buy some age appropriate sleep training books (I recommend the Happy Sleeper) and go through a week of pain for a lifetime of gain. It's honestly NOT meant to be this hard!

mrssoap · 01/12/2019 08:30

Super nanny is successful cos they're not her kids.
Rubbish! I sleep trained my 4 kids, all were younger than 5 so I expect easier but it worked! And supernanny doesn't do it the parent does. It can work, you just need to be firm and preferably have someone else with you for support because it's tempting to give up!

ThinkIamflyingundertheradar · 01/12/2019 08:32

Get a book or magazine and your glass of wine. Sit on the floor beside her bed or outside her door and let her freak out whilst you ignore her. The more boring and non responsive you are the sooner she will get bored and go to sleep.

And in future take them out for a long walk or to the swimming pool in the afternoon on the days you really want them to sleep in the evening.

LakieLady · 01/12/2019 08:33

Nothing but sympathy to offer, OP. I would be beyond demented, which is one of the (many) reasons I didn't want children.

My DSS was a bedtime bastard. He was a bit better if one of the cats went up to bed with him. Confused

Somebodystired · 01/12/2019 08:34

OP it's shit isn't it? I adore my son and love mostly every second with him...but I'm not sad when he goes to bed! We all need to down time, and I cannot imagine how I would cope with two bad sleepers. I dont think I could!

It might be easier to sleep train the younger one first, as it sounds like you'll have more of a battle on your hands with the 5yo and you'll have more energy to deal with that if it at least the younger one is sleeping.

JustDanceAddict · 01/12/2019 08:35

Isn’t that the way of young kids (although mine slept well I didn’t exactly live it up every Sat night and still don’t with working and having teens).
You def need to try some sleep training for the 5 year old.
Who cares if people are out on a Sat night? Last night my teen dd had a friend round, teen ds isn’t well so he had an early night and dh and I watched Netflix.
In a couple of weeks they’ll be parties for all!

CheshireDing · 01/12/2019 08:37

We have 3 DC and the eldest (now 8) was the worst at going to bed

I read about the kissing technique on here, that helped. I certainly wouldn’t be having any tv at least a hour before bedtime either, only quiet radio or no noise and as a pp said next time get your dinner, drink and DD will have to sit at the table quietly Watching you eat, with minimal conversation from you.

Catsick36 · 01/12/2019 08:41

Mine are the same age but boys. We've had a strict 7 pm routine since the oldest was about a year old. During the day from waking up time about 530am they are the complete opposite of yours. We don't do eating out in the day at restaurants. I throw food at them and hope it works.
We have dinner together about 430. Maybe you need to eat then as well so you aren't so hungry and pissed off.
They both need a solid bedtime routine
It'll get better and you can start to do what you want.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/12/2019 08:54

Do what my DM did and threaten to put me in the "Raggy School".

It's left me with lifelong depression and fears of abandonment, but I didn't dare leave the bedroom and would even lie (not sleep - you can't sleep in those conditions) in cold, wet sheets when I wee'd myself because I was so scared of coming out of bed.

(While all this is true, I don't really recommend it unless you want to ruin your DD's life, so for anybody who wants to start shouting at me, please don't.)

Haggisfish · 01/12/2019 08:59

Op I have the same issue. And dd would happily help tidy/clean etc!

HouseworkAvoider10 · 01/12/2019 09:16

ssd
Jesus there's some amount of Utter crap on this thread. I wonder if some of you actually have kids?? 5 is too old to be carrying on like that 🤣🤣🤣🤣, 5 is the perfect age to be carrying on like this!!!

No, its not ok for a 5 year old to be doing this.
Its downright ridiculous.
they should be in bed like other children, not running around and ruling the roost at night, like little bosses.
bollocks to that.

kids need routine and need their bedtime.
a chaotic night-time might be bearable and great laughs for some parents, but clearly it isn't for the OP.

littlebillie · 01/12/2019 09:27

I d remember this time, but we had a routine which helped. Dinner bath bed bit at least 39 minutes of chapter books. The reading of the books was relaxing for all of us. We went through funny and magical books. The routine was hard to maintain but it worked