To be fucked off about my Saturday night

[Quebeth]

I’m just looking for a rant and some solidarity if I’m honest.

My kids are 2 and 5. They are good girls but fucking shite sleepers. Usually DH deals with one at bedtime and I deal with the other. DH is out on a rare night out tonight and the pair of them are taking the utter piss.

The two year old has just gone over. The five year old is having a tantrum (overtired) because she “hates sleeping” so I am lying in bed with her while she rolls around and moans at me.

All over Facebook people are out enjoying their Saturday night. I haven’t even had my tea yet let alone a glass of wine. And when she finally goes to sleep I’ll go and clean the fucking kitchen then go to my bed.

I am so so tired of the drudgery. There is no fun any more. Even when we get babysitters the five year old is always fucking still awake when we get home so we can’t relax and it’s not worth it because we still have to do the bedtime battle after a night out.

I’m about ready for leaving tonight.

Read them this.....

This is when I really miss MN of old. OP you would have got some robust sympathy, good advice and virtual wine in abundance, not sniping and competitive martyrdom.

Audiobooks!!!! The 2 year old I can’t help with. My eldest didn’t do bedtime well until she was 4.

If it makes you feel any better, it’s my birthday weekend, first child free meal and cocktails for a very long time planned for weeks and one of the germ spreaders has given me D&V.

If there is no suggestion of having to go to bed, would the five year old sit quietly with you, playing, drawing, looking at books? If so it might be worth trying that. Not all children are early to bed type people, I wasn't and neither was mine but he was good in the evening, had things that interested him and would go to sleep eventually, quite naturally.

I feel your pain. I have a 1 year and 3 year old. We are lucky to get more than 1-2 hours before our 1 year old wakes. Then it's constant through the night and they are both up and down EVERY NIGHT. DP is great and helps out loads so very lucky there. Only one grandparent will have them over night but the eldest always asks to come home. I've not had a night out in 4 years.

It's exhausting when your running off barley any sleep x

You can get CBeebies radio through the bbc radio app or Amazon Echo. All soothing stories and lullabies at night time.

I don’t have kids so can’t offer any practical advice but my sympathies go out to you OP it’s sounds really hard, you are not being unreasonable at all, sometimes you can’t vent in real life and can only do it here, so I don’t know why your are getting a hard time from some posters.

I think Stats has it. Sleep train, sodding traumatic the first week, then hopefully bliss. Carry on ranting, this is meant to be a hardy space in which to do so. I’m another saying ignore the people who really believe you want them taken away! Just speaking to a friend today with a 6 month old, the baby isn’t yet sleeping through, but she’s calm and gorgeous and just feeds back to sleep, but the first few months were hard. You’ll get there, don’t worry.

Some really good tips here. Storing them all up. The problem is that DH is never really on board with it. Like we will agree to try something and it doesn’t work the first two nights so he’s like nope not working back to lying with her - just wants a quiet life. So yes we do need a chat

Five?

Teach them that when mum says it’s time for bed it’s time for bed!

No way would I be dealing with that at five years old - sorry.

Doesn’t matter if it’s mum, Dad, gran, aunt or baby sitter putting them to bed.

At five when you are told it’s bedtime you go to bed and let the adults have adult time

Were we on the same MN of old, michael?

I have ordered a curry. It is too late for curry but fuck it.

When my dd was 3 we used the supernanny technique of doing her night routine and then when she got out setting her back in bed in silence and closing the door again, after a week of doing this she seemed to realised we where serious after 2 weeks she wasn’t getting out of bed at all apart from needing the toilet. No threats, no rewards it was brilliant she’s now 4 and bedtime is so easy with her!

You’ve had some awful responses OP!

Of corse it’s not unreasonable to loathe the countless posts of people having a great Saturday night in bars... we are parents, not dead- I still love a good drink and a dance despite being 36 and having 2 young children. I also feel your pain about having a great night out... then coming in to do the bedtime routine tipsy and knackered, undoing all the relaxation you’ve achieved on your night off!!!

I have no advice for you, apart from it’s ok to want some downtime! Your not going to leave, but it’s ok to be frustrated and feeling like you want to!

Ignore the negative comments- we can’t all be so perfect thank god!

Betty that’s awful I really feel for you

Don’t believe everything you see or read on Facebook. I guarantee you no one posts about their kids being little shits on Facebook.

@Quebeth I feel your pain. Mine are 8 and 3 and are bloody awful at sleeping. They have both settled tonight so far, about 90 mins ago, but one or both will be up several times in the night. They have both been a nightmare all day and DH has been out all day today and is out all day tomorrow too.

You will be able to get your own back when they're teenagers and don't want to get up but you just have to do the hoovering or whatever other noisy thing that will wake them up outside their bedroom door when they're trying to sleep

Do they share a room.I found my ds would go to bed and the others woke him up.

Can you leave the 5 year old downstairs for a bit of big girl time.Let the younger one go to bed.Maybe she just wants a bit of time with you for herself.

Just to add though my dd always went to sleep for the babysitter, I was always so jealous she could get her to bed and she refused on me. Glad she did sleep for the babysitter though as the babysitter is brilliant and I didn’t want to lose her because dd was to hard of work at bedtime!

No it’s not how it is, I second the call for sleep training. It doesn’t have to be like this and shouldn’t just have to accept it

@Quebeth ignore the dickheads trying to be smart tonight, first here is a big hug! Yanbu about feeling this way. I'm sure most of us in our darkest hours have felt like walking but will never admit it. You sound shattered and frustrated. It will pass, I'm still going through it with my 12 year old daughter who has cerebral palsy and a learning disability so she seems to only need cat naps to get her through the night. She demands bed time at 7pm will go to sleep at 8.30/9pm wakes up at 11.30/12am and stays awake until about 2am, falls asleep until 4am then shouts the whole village up until she is sat up with her breakfast whilst watching mr.tumbles . This is a typical good night when shes having a bad night she will be awake from 11pm onwards screaming and making herself sick until we finally get her up for the final time at 4am so we feel for you its soul destroying especially when you see people going out for drinks or just a meal or anything fun

I didn't know about cbeebies radio either! I know this isn't my thread but am thinking of getting a stair gate and putting DD in her room with cbeebies radio and giving that a try. I really feel for you op but I'm also feeling some happiness to know it's not just my DD that's like this.

One thing with my DD is that she can be quite anxious. She gets fixated on certain things that scare her. When it is dark at nighttime she is genuinely afraid because she starts to imagine that tornadoes (or whatever her current fear is) are coming to hurt her. She is happy to entertain herself in the day time, it's just night time she won't be in a room alone. Maybe yours is scared of something too?

I have also had to accept that my DD just needs less sleep than the average child her age needs. She's on the waiting less for an ASD assessment, not because of her sleeping, but I have read that children with ASD sometimes do sleep less. It doesn't sound as though you have any concerns of ASD with yours, but if the lack of sleeping has been there for her whole life I think mentally accepting 'she just needs less sleep' makes it a bit easier somehow. It did for me anyway.

Well we usually spend Saturday night together because we love Strictly so DH puts the two year old to bed and DD1 is allowed to stay up late. But tonight it didn’t happen so I put her into my bed to watch strictly herself eventually when it became clear DD2 wasn’t going to sleep. DD2 has to interest in strictly and if I had put them in bed together they’d have fought because DD2 is a wind up merchant.

Good choice with a curry, you deserve it! Yes to pp comment about room sharing. We are lucky enough to have separate bedrooms for our two boys but if we are on holiday with just one room for them then older one gets to lie in our bed til younger one goes to sleep, then we carry him through later.