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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you wouldn't be this irresponsible?

236 replies

Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 21:21

AIBU to be fuming that a 3 month old baby was left unattended in a room on his own sleeping in a car seat with no monitor? This baby was being babysat by his aunt

OP posts:
Original poster
Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 21:53

For those who don’t know, it’s dangerous to leave little babies in car seats for extended periods of time. It’s caused deaths. Leaving the baby unattended sleeping in a car seat really isn’t ok. Not the same as leave them safely tucked in to a nose basket/cot.
Thank you, its changed now because deaths have been caused. Why would you not follow guidelines. Especially when its not your baby!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jinglebells10 · 30/11/2019 21:54

As has been said, young babies sleeping in car seats is a suffocation risk.
Thank you. And this is why you shouldn't leave unattended in another room! They wouldnt change guidelines without evidence of risk!

OP posts:
cheesydoesit · 30/11/2019 21:54

Did your DSis and BIL leave an alternative like a moses basket though?

Sparklingbrook · 30/11/2019 21:54

I think you need to do the babysitting next time OP (But don't put the car seat on the sofa). I do think there is probably more we don't know about this particular situation though.

DeathStare · 30/11/2019 21:55

@Jinglebells10..... had your sister (or the baby's dad) specifically said to her "please don't leave the baby asleep in the car seat if you aren't in the same room"? If they hadn't then they really have no room to get annoyed.

Bloody common sense tells you not to put a car seat on a sofa with a baby in it though

Greysparkles · 30/11/2019 21:55

But was it an extended period of time?
Is the aunt aware guidelines have changed since having her child?
Was alternate sleeping place provided? Because if it wasn't, where did they expect baby to sleep?

DeathStare · 30/11/2019 21:56

Why would you not follow guidelines. Especially when its not your baby!

Because you didn't know the guidelines? And the parents didn't bother to tell you? And then created a drama because you weren't psychic (egged on by her sister). Anyway don't the guidelines say 2 hours?

areyouafraidofthedark · 30/11/2019 21:56

So she moved the baby into a quiet room because another child was pestering the baby. You don't know how long he was in the bedroom on his own? I assume the baby was strapped in? And I'm sure she would of heard the baby cry unless he was in a separate wing!

If it was a short period and he was strapped in I'm struggling to understand the dramatics from you all.

TruffleShuffles · 30/11/2019 21:57

How long was the baby in the car seat? I would leave my a baby in the car seat if they had fallen asleep in it and put them in another room so I didn’t wake them, I also wouldn’t have a monitor on them I would just keep checking on them. I also just used to keep an eye on how long they had been in there and would get them out if it had been too long.

NichyNoo · 30/11/2019 21:57

Am I missing something? Is it now not allowed to leave a 3 month old asleep in another room? Are baby monitors now legally mandated? Sleeping in a car seat is fine for an hour or so....or at least it is if parents are driving a car. So I assume it is fine for an Auntie too??????

NotStayingIn · 30/11/2019 21:58

This is all so confusing. Where did your sister ask the aunt to put her baby to sleep? Had she only left the car seat?

Sorry but to me you sound like a shit stirrer. So much drama. You have no idea how often the aunt checked on the baby and whether or not she could hear it.

kenandbarbie · 30/11/2019 21:58

Well, if someone had been asked to babysit they are likely to do whatever they did with their own children. They aren't going to check what guidelines have been changed. You have to point out more important ones out, like putting the baby to sleep on their back.

Wildorchidz · 30/11/2019 21:59

The risk is caused by the baby slumping forward in the car seat and suffocating from a blocked airway.

DeathStare · 30/11/2019 21:59

Why would you not follow guidelines. Especially when its not your baby!

Indeed!

"DON’T leave your infant seat on any elevated or soft surfaces, such as a bed, sofa, countertop, or table."

So irresponsible!

www.consumerreports.org/infant-car-seats/dos-and-donts-of-infant-car-seat-use/

ActualFemale · 30/11/2019 21:59

How do you suggest people go to the loo or shower? Do you think a baby should never be unattended? I’ve 4 kids and never had a monitor.

There was a thread not long ago where a couple of posters were saying exactly that, they said SIDS Guidelines are to always be in the room your sleeping baby is and that they don't ever leave their babies in a room alone ever, not even to go to the toilet.

Wildorchidz · 30/11/2019 22:00

Which is why putting the baby in another room, unobserved, is dangerous.

slipperywhensparticus · 30/11/2019 22:00

My son is 11 soon the guidelines changed when he was a few months old so why doesn't everyone know

ohwheniknow · 30/11/2019 22:01

But you already said you don't know how long baby was in car seat or how long baby was in other room or how frequently baby was being checked on.

So what grounds do you have to kick off at this point? Do you not like this woman?

1300cakes · 30/11/2019 22:01

If the car seat is such an issue, why do they even have a travel system like that? I don't like babies staying in car seats for ages either, that's why I bought a car seat for the car and use other equipment (pram, sling, basket, cot) when out of the car. Car seat doesn't leave the car.

Its a bit hypocritical of them to say aunt shouldn't let baby sleep in the car seat, when they obviously bought that item with that very thing in mind.

sliceofbeautypie · 30/11/2019 22:02

www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/son-died-positional-asphyxia-car-seat-parents-66285041

If an 11month old can die under supervision in a car seat, I'd be very unhappy at a much younger child with less head control being left alone

1300cakes · 30/11/2019 22:03

And what does a monitor have to do with anything? Assuming the aunt isn't deaf and doesn't live in an enormous mansion, it's quite easy to hear a baby crying.

Wildorchidz · 30/11/2019 22:03

The issue is that she put the baby in the car seat in another room!!!!

cheesydoesit · 30/11/2019 22:05

Quite a few people have asked OP if a safe alternative place to sleep had been left for the baby.

ActualFemale · 30/11/2019 22:07

You don't know the baby has been left in a car seat for over two hours though.

I wouldn't be happy with my baby being left in a car seat for that long but I would have taken a Moses basket or travel cot if my sister was having my baby for lengthy periods of time, you seem to be implying aunt has left the baby in the car seat for more than two hours so she must have been asked to babysit for much longer, did parents not leave a Moses basket?

mbosnz · 30/11/2019 22:09

Bottom line, if unhappy with how a babysitter tends your child, don't use them again. Family or not family. Or perhaps that would be a little inconvenient? Or expensive?

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