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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Hidden annoyances of being a single parent.

294 replies

OhioOhioOhio · 30/11/2019 18:00

Taking stuff out of and putting stuff in the attic.

OP posts:
Snowman123 · 30/11/2019 19:15

Fence painting. Ex DH used to do it....

Musereader · 30/11/2019 19:15

@space pyramid - but hidden annoyances are not the same as the hardest things. You can blether on about the hardest things, but what i took from hidden annoyances is the things you don't think of as hard just because of being a single parent until you are in the middle of doing these things and you just think i could use somebody's help here.

When you think of being a single parent, the big stuff like having someone else to share the burdens of things like tantrums, discipline and time are obvious. So obvious they are all unsaid in a thread like this where we can discuss the unforeseen smaller things that don't occur in big picture conversations.

My little thing is someone to help put things up, like a post box or a shelf, someone who holds it while someone else puts screws in, and while i can do some myself, if i truly can't do it myself i have to wait for a time when a member of my family has the time to come over specifically to do it rather than doing it on a whim with dh or dp when we are in together.

Christmas is that i and dm are the only 2 that will be buying presents for 3yo dd as my other siblings don't do christmas for various reasons (1 muslim, 1 too selfish, 1 too broke/busy and 1 too far away) and we have no contact with dd's father or any member of his family and chrismas is a time when you thinknabout and miss extended family.

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2019 19:16

Complaining about the little stuff that really isn't that hard just gives people who are not single parents the idea that really it's not that difficult

What bullshit. It just means - and bear with me because you’re obviously struggling - that different people find different things hard. Stop the fucking press.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/11/2019 19:17

You really can't cure stupid

spacepyramid · 30/11/2019 19:17

You really can't cure stupid

Never mind, perhaps you'll grow out of it one day.

Irisloulou · 30/11/2019 19:18

o all of these things I have to do because DH is disabled. So I have NO idea how to get the old filing cabinet down the stairs to get it out the front door. Any ideas anyone?

^^ your council might do bulk collection, they will carry it down for you if you ask. They helped me move some bulky items.

I’m a single parent, i avoid the loft, store it somewhere else.

MsRomanoff · 30/11/2019 19:19

Complaining about the little stuff that really isn't that hard just gives people who are not single parents the idea that really it's not that difficult.

So single parents can only complain about the big things, just incase someone is looking who assumes that its nor hard.

Based on a thread about annoyances?

So no can have a thread about small annoying things incase someone thinks their situation is that hard? Have you heard yourself?

I’m sorryMsRomanoffyou’re just not doing itright. Please hand your badge in as you leave.

I know exactly where I want shove the badge Grin

BarbaraStrozzi · 30/11/2019 19:21

o all of these things I have to do because DH is disabled. So I have NO idea how to get the old filing cabinet down the stairs to get it out the front door. Any ideas anyone?

Some charity shops like BHF do furniture collections.

I trade curry for help with the heavy lifting with friends.

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2019 19:21

I’m quite sure the twonk is the one who was “absolutely furious” over Boris Johnson’s comments over single parents....I mean talk about an overreaction Wink

Rosie2000 · 30/11/2019 19:25

Definitely the Christmas tree one! This year even the kids said let’s get an artificial one after spending a day trying to get a real one straight etc last year.
I’ve just been to the tip, lugging bulky furniture into the car although had help from a nice worker once there.
Major annoyance is other people (family, friends, colleagues) having no idea how hard it is to shoulder every-fucking-thing and pay for it, oh and work full time in a very demanding job. Add in a sulky difficult ex too.
I told my mum this week that the only people who can understand what’s it like to be divorced are other divorcees. Same for being a single parent.

Homemadearmy · 30/11/2019 19:27

. So I have NO idea how to get the old filing cabinet down the stairs to get it out the front door. Any ideas anyone?

I used to tip things in their side and slide it down with me in front to slow it down, then walk it. My kids are own enough too help now.
If me, like a pp I find not being able not share little achievements with another parent so hard

CupoTeap · 30/11/2019 19:28

No not bonkers, just the thing that's hard today.

OhioOhioOhio · 30/11/2019 19:30

Yes. Weirdly I get more 'help' from the abusive bastard I threw out than when he was here.

But still, it's not what I thought I had signed up for.

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 30/11/2019 19:32

If I didn't have children I wouldn't have to drag it down from the loft and put up the sodding tree in the first place !

Loveislandaddict · 30/11/2019 19:32

I hate these type of threads when one camp tries to ‘top trump’ it over the other.

Musereader · 30/11/2019 19:33

Online shopping is not without its pit falls, i had amazon prime delivery today, they didn't have the brand of strawberry yoghurt i wanted so they offered a same brand of honey yoghurt which i declined, (i would have accepted any brand of strawberry but making suggestions back is not an option) also they picked 1 bottle of apple and 1 of apple and elderflower instead of 2 apple juice. If those had been critical things in the list i would have been left with similar options as if i had been and forgotten something. Either i make another order to be delivered later (and over £40 for free delivery) or go out to the shop (with child i am trying to potty train)

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 30/11/2019 19:33

Jesus Christ I'm not even a single parent and space's posts are winding me up.

Why are you picking apart people's posts?

This isn't my life but I have a shit tonne of respect for those who are single parents. If they want to shout about the stuff that niggles them who the fuck are you or I to judge?!

Kittykat93 · 30/11/2019 19:34

I've only recently split from my husband and our little boy is 2. I thought it would be the practical things I'd find hard, like shopping alone, activities on my own without another adult, no lie ins etc. But actually it's just incredibly lonely. I've no one to talk to about ds, how he's just started talking, the funny things he does everyday. No one to share in the joy and also support during the hard days. I also don't have family which makes it worse.

I have so much respect for single parents. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I'm only four months down the line. :(

Lovemenorca · 30/11/2019 19:38

* Being a single parent is not what makes bringing a tree in from the car hard. It being a large, awkwardly shaped, heavy item makes it hard. This is the same if you are not a single parent.*

Wtf? No, because there would be another pair of hands to help you with aforementioned awkward item!

MsRomanoff · 30/11/2019 19:39

I have so much respect for single parents. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I'm only four months down the line

It does get easier. There a lot of things that prefer to patenting alone.

Toomanycats99 · 30/11/2019 19:39

Being a natural early bird and having to try and stay awake to do elf and stockings with no night owl husband anymore!

IndieTara · 30/11/2019 19:40

Trying to balance the feet on the washing machine

megletthesecond · 30/11/2019 19:40

Shopping on-line is shit. Sometimes the only adult I talk to at weekends is the person on the checkout. I hated taking the dc's shopping but hated being cooped up even more.

JacquesHammer · 30/11/2019 19:42

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I'm only four months down the line

Flowers hang in there

Shitfuckoh · 30/11/2019 19:43

Its my first December as a single parent. My youngest is at the stage where he just won't let me get on without his 'help'. I'm looking at the tree that is bare because the lights don't work, no one to nip to get them or look after the kids whilst i go.. i've ordered some to be delivered tomorrow, so i'll attempt to put them on and the baubles whilst my youngest 'helps' by throwing them around!

Their dad gave them jus over an hour of his time this week, so atleast i managed to hoover the stairs in peace!

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