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AIBU?

To contemplate reporting someone for possible benefit fraud? WWYD?

404 replies

WWYDhey · 30/11/2019 12:16

So there’s this girl I know. Not a close friend but someone I know and would say hi to in the street. We are Facebook friends. I know a bit about her through mutual friends.

She is claiming as a single parent of two kids but her boyfriend lives with her. Full time. They have actually just become engaged and she is pregnant. He has 3 kids to someone else with which he sees 2 of them every other week.

He is ‘unemployed’ but I believe he works full time for cash in hand. (Some kind of joinery or building work)

What has made me consider reporting her (if that’s something you can even do??) is that she spends all her ‘free’ money on weekly hair up appointments, professional make up done. New nails etc (we all know this as she documents everything on Facebook) always out at restaurants and nights out. Almost like she is bragging.
Doesn’t look like she spends much on her kids. They always look a bit scruffy and bored in her photos. (Think tops that look too small or worn out)

And now that she’s pregnant she’s uploading loads of expensive purchases for the baby (ted baker everything, massive pram ordained in Jewell’s)

Now I know some of the replies I will get here will be along the lines of ‘what’s it got to do with you how she spends her money’

  • well yes it has nothing to do with me but it is really irritating that I work full time with kids and pay a lot in tax and have to scrimp and save. I don’t get all of the luxuries she does. Yet ina round about way I contribute to it.


‘How do you know she’s on benefits’ our mutual friend knows she is for certain. Plus she works 18 hours per week in a cafe so it’s not rocket science.

So would you report someone claiming as a single parent when she isn’t?

YABU- Dont report her and don’t give it another thought

YANBU- Do report her

If so how would you report anonymously?
OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1421 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
30%
You are NOT being unreasonable
70%
Babyroobs · 30/11/2019 14:29

Just do it. these people make me sick and they are everywhere. You can report anonymously online.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/11/2019 14:29

Also - so what if OP is jealous/envious, or a bit nosy. Those things arent crimes. Fraud is.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 30/11/2019 14:29

nobody likes a grass !

Benefit cheats are ok though, are they?

This thread is not only vile, it's completely nonsensical. The same people calling OP a "cow", telling her to "get a life" and "keep her beak out" are falling over themselves to justify someone committing a criminal (not to mention completely immoral) act. How can you be so quick to condemn the OP (who hasn't actually done anything!) and yet so full of empathy and understanding for someone deliberately committing fraud? Do you all genuinely believe that reporting a crime is worse than commiting one in the first place? Or does that only apply to benefit fraud for some reason?

AmbitiouslyFit · 30/11/2019 14:30

I donno what I would do but can’t blame you for being annoyed as I have been too.

Babyroobs · 30/11/2019 14:33

Why should genuinely honest people be paying for the greed of these people ? It's rife. I had a colleague who was living with her partner for 7 years and claiming as single , they had a child together but ' officially' he lived at his mums round the corner. I had no qualms reporting her - they both worked she was claiming hundreds in tax credits for four kids and getting maintenance from all the dad. Disgusting. They were not short of money just plain greedy.

titsmcghee27 · 30/11/2019 14:35

Benefit fraud is tantamount to stealing. She is claiming a second (or third in this case) income that she isn't entitled to. When I was a single working parent I relied heavily on that extra money, without it I couldn't have survived. Yet piss taking benefit fraudsters like her have the cheek to claim money they shouldn't even be receiving then brag about all the superficial stuff they're doing with it. Without people reporting them it would make it a lot harder for the powers that be to identify and investigate fraud. So yeah report her. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that she's not single if she's pregnant, engaged and has a live in partner. It's public money that she shouldn't be getting.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 14:36

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery because we do not know that she is actually committing fraud! Facebook posts are proof of precisely NOTHING. I would not report someone for benefit fraud based on what they post on facebook!

Alrighteo · 30/11/2019 14:36

Report her.

90schic · 30/11/2019 14:37

@donquixotedelamancha omg comparing a shopping someone about rape and murder is not the same. Get a fucking grip

Scotinthenorth · 30/11/2019 14:39

I hope the people saying you shouldn’t report are also ok with businesses not paying their fair share of tax. It’s the same thing. It’s both wrong. It’s hypocritical otherwise

MitziK · 30/11/2019 14:39

My DDs never went to soft play, either. Because a) there wasn't one with a bus ride and b) they hated the places. They didn't go to farms because they're pretty difficult to get to without a car - well, unless you count booking a taxi to take you into the arse end of nowhere where there is no public transport - a bargain at around sixty quid and no guarantee of being able to get hold of a local firm for a return journey.

The nearest salons to me offer a blowdry and updo for £12. Nails can be from a tenner, depending on what type or whether it's just a colour change or full set of infills. Then add in a regular customer discount or the owner being a mate.

My mother and most other women in the 1960s would go to a salon to get their hair done each week, so it's hardly a new thing to do so. It was also quite common for somebody to go out once a week with their husband.

As you've already given away your location, there are enough nail and hair places along the same road that do a wash and blowdry for a tenner and a manicure for a fiver. I'd hardly call a trip across the road to Nandos for a couple of £2.80 fruit juices or iced teas living the high life, either.

Your target works. She probably receives maintenance, which she is entitled to do (and is separate from whether the ex is useless or not). The Fiance is probably paying for the night out, anyhow. There is no requirement to declare being taken out on a date. Ted Baker stuff is sold in catalogues and it's just as likely that a GM to be is paying for the pram. She's hardly likely to be knocking back cocktails when pregnant - you're getting in a fuss over a glorified fruit juice there. gets ready for the She Binge Drinks Too dripfeed.

You might think she is minted. But the things you talk about aren't particularly expensive, go on credit or would reasonably be paid for by somebody else even without the claim of benefit fraud.

titsmcghee27 · 30/11/2019 14:40

@Waxonwaxoff0 if she isn't committing fraud then she won't have to worry will she

Wildorchidz · 30/11/2019 14:41

I would not report someone for benefit fraud based on what they post on facebook!

I would.

90schic · 30/11/2019 14:41

lets all all sling shit at one woman who has a nice pram and may or may not have declared her partner lives with her... whilst BP, Royal Mail, British Gas all have paid fuck all taxes this year Grin oh dear oh dear oh dear

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 14:47

90schic - tbf the pram sounds horrendous. I doubt anyone with taste is envious of it . They’re pissed off that someone is so blatantly abusing the system which was set up to help those unable to help themselves .
The welfare system is on it’s knees . These are the kind of people who are to blame .

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/11/2019 14:48

@titsmcghee27 obviously not, but if I were her and I wasn't committing fraud I'd be pretty pissed off that someone had reported me for it. Would you be happy if you were accused of a crime you didn't commit?

TheGirlFromStoryville · 30/11/2019 14:49

Report her without a second thought.

Claiming as a single parent when actually cohabiting is fraud. It's probably the most common kind of benefit fraud I would imagine.

Report anonymously online.

donquixotedelamancha · 30/11/2019 14:50

omg comparing a shopping someone about rape and murder is not the same. Get a fucking grip

You seem lovely, but if you read my post as suggesting the rape or murder is a crime of the same seriousness as benefit fraud then you may need to take a little more time to mull things over in future.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 30/11/2019 14:51

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery because we do not know that she is actually committing fraud! Facebook posts are proof of precisely NOTHING. I would not report someone for benefit fraud based on what they post on facebook!

OP doesn't need absolute proof, she's talking about reporting her suspicion. If OP reports her suspicions that this woman is claiming as a single parent, then a quick check of their computer system will tell the DWP whether that's the case or not. If she is in fact claiming as a single parent they'll investigate, if she has declared that she's living with her DP they won't do anything.

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 14:52

Life is a beach - so when you spend a night in a hotel you’re indirectly paying for the hotel ?
Or you’re paying for the service the hotel provides?
Of course the roof is unsecured, if you want a secure one you buy it . Or should we just hand out these things for free now . Oh wait ........

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 30/11/2019 14:52

lets all all sling shit at one woman who has a nice pram and may or may not have declared her partner lives with her... whilst BP, Royal Mail, British Gas all have paid fuck all taxes this year

What do those two things have to do with each other? It is possible to simultaneously disapprove of two things at once.

Purpletigers · 30/11/2019 14:55

Claiming as a single parent while living with a partner and father of all the children is rife .
The really clever ones make sure they provide two addresses to their child’s school . It’s amazing the number of 30/40 year old men still living with their mothers 😂.

Whizbang · 30/11/2019 14:56

Report her. If she isn’t cheating the system then she won’t get in trouble. If she is then she will, and deservedly so.

TheQueef · 30/11/2019 14:59

I think your maths is out Purple
It costs (according to the DWP themselves)
£1.2 billion for fraud.
£1.4 billion for the department errors. (So their own errors which could be corrected, saving more than eradicating fraud)
£16 billion in unclaimed benefit over ten times the amount in fraud.
If you want to have more money in this imaginary pot why don't the DWP just do the job right?

Oh wait! I know!
Because you don't get to stub out the woman who has lorded it over people with trimmed hair.

Yeah these fraudsters have fucked us over....

Vanhi · 30/11/2019 15:04

Those who genuinely need and are entitled to benefits get less because of a few who choose to cheat/steal.

This simply isn't the case. As PP have said repeatedly, the amount in unclaimed benefits is greater than the amount defrauded. Both sums are dwarfed by the amount of tax evasion and tax avoidance. NO THIS DOES NOT MAKE BENEFIT FRAUD OK, for the hard of understanding. But it does mean that in the grand scheme of things, if you want to fix the problem you should look elsewhere.

We're encouraged to report benefit fraud precisely so that we start to assume there's a very small pot of money and it's these fraudsters' fault that other people are homeless, hungry and having to use food banks. It deflects from the real problem which is that government policy and austerity measures deliberately target the most vulnerable in society. The government could find more money if it chose to do so, but it would rather retain taxation measures which keep govt members and their cronies rich. And rather than us looking to the real villains, the fat cats, we point at benefit "scroungers" or immigrants or asylum seekers or whichever bogey man we're encouraged to hate this week.

Report her for fraud if you want to. Maybe she is fraudulently claiming. Maybe she isn't but her benefits will be stopped anyway whilst she's investigated. And her treatment will further frighten others who should be claiming so that they don't, or do but live in perpetual fear that someday it will be them who gets reported and them who gets their benefits stopped.

Or, we could start caring a little bit more about each other. We could recognise that if we want the poorest to be looked after, we need to blame the government, since they're actually in charge, not get our knickers in a knot about somebody getting a haircut and having their nails done.

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