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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset by people calling DS naughty

147 replies

Cocomelon9902 · 29/11/2019 18:56

Naughty... I don't like the word...

Today my DS threw his toy phone on the floor a few times, and my nan called him naughty, and put the toy away.

AIBU being upset over this...
Shes 84, so I know a lot of things she says I just nod and agree, it isn't worth the hassle.
But he's only 1, I don't think he's naughty!

OP posts:
Jeschara · 29/11/2019 18:58

It's just a word she says, ,don't sweat the small stuff or over think it.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/11/2019 18:58

Nah, he's fine.

Babies chuck things.

Keep him away from her in future.

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 29/11/2019 19:01

"Keep him away from her in future."

Never change, MN.

itstootsmcgee · 29/11/2019 19:01

I don't think any toddler can actually be "naughty" and despise the word being used for little ones.

I'd personally avoid her in future to be honest.

FatherB · 29/11/2019 19:31

Kid throws toy, is disciplined fairly and MN response keep him away from her in future

Honestly it's crazy to think that big life decisions must be made based on advice on MN and this is the sort of advice thrown around.

annielennoxstuckinmyhead · 29/11/2019 19:33

LTB

DeathStare · 29/11/2019 19:37

he's not naughty, he's a baby.

But your nan saying the word "naughty" to him isn't going to kill him. She's from a different generation and calling children "naughty" was no big deal at all when she was raising children (and they survived). she's not saying it because she hates him.

Personally I'd just grit my teeth and ignore this, but if you feel you must say something just gently say "that's just what babies do, he's not naughty" i really wouldn't pick this as the hill to die on though

Nonnymum · 29/11/2019 19:39

I agree with you but she is from a different generation. She sounnds as though she is from my parents generation. It was common for that generation to smack their children and call them naughty even babies who of course can't be naughty.
I would just smile and say something like he's not naughty he's just just behaving like a baby/toddler. And then move on.

Slightlysurviving · 29/11/2019 19:44

Well you should introduce her to my 18 month old we joke she will play cricket for England, as she throws so much. Its a phase can't get worked up about it. I learnt when I had my eldest everyone feels the need to comment on your kids and it's generally best to ignore.

73Sunglasslover · 29/11/2019 19:45

I think naughty just means badly behaved - and he was in the sense that this is not behaviour you want to see in the years to come. Clearly you wouldn't expect a 1 year old to know that: they need socializing - which is what your Nan was doing wasn't it? It sounds like she was pretty calm really and wasn't saying he's a lost cause or shouting or hitting. I'd have put a toy away if my 1 year old did that.

Ragwort · 29/11/2019 19:47

Are you serious? Hmm

joffreyscoffees · 29/11/2019 19:49

I call 16 month DD naughty all the time Hmm because she is being naughty, whether she understands that or not.

I don't say it in an angry/shouty way - I just say "can you stop that please, it's naughty"

Honestly, the things people get worked up at on here. And as for saying 'keep away' .. seriously?

Squeakymumtime · 29/11/2019 19:49

Keep him away from her in future

Ffs, why does mumsnet advocate cutting people out of your life for very minor petty things!

Naughty is no big deal in my opinion Hmm

CAG12 · 29/11/2019 19:50

Start ignoring that side of the family. You dont that negativity.

Are you financially independant? Probably leave your husband too as its more than likley he condones this behaviour.

ItsAPleasureSwingYouFuckNut · 29/11/2019 19:54

keep him away from her in future

Excellent advice. Keep an elderly woman's grandchild away from her because she called him naughty. Totally proportionate response.

LolaSmiles · 29/11/2019 19:54

I couldn't get wound up about it.
Throwing toys is naughty behaviour. A 1 year old doesn't understand that though.

It's a bit of a non issue and moving forward it's probably not the sort of thing to be precious over.

lippi · 29/11/2019 19:54

This woman is 84, she is not going to be in his life for very long, leave her off. Shes your nan, were you afraid of her when you were 1, 6, 10?

You will find your answer as to what to do with her by answering if you were afraid of her.

Now get a grip of yourself.

73Sunglasslover · 29/11/2019 19:55

Are you financially independant? Probably leave your husband too as its more than likley he condones this behaviour.

Grin
churchandstate · 29/11/2019 19:56

The word doesn’t mean ‘bad’ or immoral. It just means behaviour that is deliberate and a bit of a pain. I use it all the time.

Rockingdahorse · 29/11/2019 19:56

Get your ducks in a row

churchandstate · 29/11/2019 19:57

But as he’s only 1, it probably isn’t naughty.

MIdgebabe · 29/11/2019 19:59

It is naughty or you are naughty? Telling a child something is naughty is rather a useful way for them to gradually learn what is naughty and nice , which is useful what with Christmas approaching

TipseyTorvey · 29/11/2019 20:02

I called both mine naughty when they were mad toddlers. Just looked up the meaning and it said 'badly behaved' which sounds like an appropriate description of either of mine blowing raspberries or up ending their rice pudding at that age. As they got older the language changed to 'inappropriate' or 'impolite' or when serious 'unacceptable' but those are big words for a 2 yo so naughty works fine for me. I understand the need to label the behaviour and not the child BTW but I'm happy saying 'no that's naughty' to a child writing on a wall.

TrainspottingWelsh · 29/11/2019 20:04

Log it with the police and go none contact, she's gaslighting you.

donttellmetwice · 29/11/2019 20:05

I really don't like the word either but I think in your nans case it might be a generational thing?
I think it's my background in teacher that makes me dislike it so much. Children aren't naughty, they just sometimes make the wrong choice x