Upset by people calling DS naughty

[Cocomelon9902]

Naughty... I don't like the word...

Today my DS threw his toy phone on the floor a few times, and my nan called him naughty, and put the toy away.

AIBU being upset over this...
Shes 84, so I know a lot of things she says I just nod and agree, it isn't worth the hassle.
But he's only 1, I don't think he's naughty!

Next time just reitiorate and say to him straight after in ear shot "you're not naughty, you just did naughty behaviour. And naughty boys do naughty things and you're a good boy so do good things. Must do naughty things"

Actually, this would make it worse. To do so after the event (and assuming child is old enough to even understand any of that), all most children will hear is the word ‘not’ and ‘just’ and think ‘oh I only just did that and what I did was not that bad’, then mostly miss the rest of what you say bar ‘naughty boys do naughty things’ and make more of it than they would have done in the first instance.

ChloeDecker it's more for granny's benefit than the child's. Making the distinction was the point.

I think what you mean is, do I need to thank my grandmother for trying to teach my toddler right from wrong because I can't be bot

I think what you mean is, do I need to thank my grandmother for trying to teach my toddler right from wrong because I can't be bothered

happinessishereblog.com/why-i-dont-use-the-word-naughty/
😂😂😂
Yes, I’ll just empathise with my toddler and I won’t interrupt him when he’s in the middle of poking the dog in the face. “It looks like Fido is sad that you’re pulling his whiskers”. Then Fido bites DC’s face off. It’s much more sensible to say No! and remove the child quickly, then explain it’s naughty to hurt Fido.

At such a young age tone of voice is the most important thing.

If your Nan said 'that's naughty' in a firm tone, making her displeasure clear, well done Nan!

If she said it in a wishy washy sing song way while smiling sweetly leaving the child confused then that isn't helping him learn what is or isn't acceptable behaviour.

I can't get worked up over the word naughty but decades of working with the public leaves me in no doubt that failure to make displeasure clear via tone just leaves little ones oblivious that their behaviour is undesirable.

Some of the stories here so clearly articulate why (generally speaking and in my experience) children’s behaviour has gone downhill in the last couple of decades.

I can't get worked up over the word naughty but decades of working with the public leaves me in no doubt that failure to make displeasure clear via tone just leaves little ones oblivious that their behaviour is undesirable
I agree. Tone is important.
Thebsame principle applies in shops when someone is saying "awww DC... Stop that... Seriously stop that... Behave... The lady will tell you off" in a wishy washy voice whilst smiling and half laughing and then they wonder why their 6/7 year old is taking no notice of them and running wild.

I think you're overreacting. Gran is elderly and has clearly forgotten babies throw things. Just ignore it.

I'm not convinced that children actually hear the difference between "you're naughty" and "that's a naughty thing to do." I'm certain I wouldn't notice the distinction.

If you always just say "you're naughty" then you aren't telling them what they did that you don't like. How is a baby meant to know that you meant the throw rather than the giggle they did afterwards, or the way they waved their foot...
If you say "throwing the phone was naughty" then you are telling them what is naughty.

stop the press

"My 84 yr old nan called my baby naughty"

Being upset over this is unreasonable.

No he's not naughty but nan is just trying to teach him not to do naughty things.

Try to get some perspective.

The problem is its not really the done thing to tell your child off in a stern voice in public / in front of another adult so it's not done. That's why people use the wishy washy voice.
On the odd occasion I've told my child off sternly in public I've looked very bad.

Wait and talk it through at home.
For toddlers, remove child or remove items or distract child or say that's naughty but said quite lightly, would be my advice.

Why is telling a child off sternly in public bad? It is more annoying when a child is being a little Damien and you look over and the parent is doing bugger all.

Children need to be taught its not ok to throw things. Someone has to tell him no

What the dickens?!?

Naughty is a great word for little children? It’s like a sweet way of saying “bad”. Affectionate almost.

Wtf is wrong with people these days?? Is this why there are so many undisciplined brats around?

Agreed ghost. Whenever I see parents doing that pointless and feeble voice at misbehaving dc, always with zero results, I just think they're a bit of a twat.

I agree ghost
It would be interesting to see the overlap between people who use the wishy washy voice and people who call up school to complain that the teacher has "shouted" at their precious in front of the whole class (and by shouted, in reality they used a perfectly reasonable firm tone of voice and expected the perfectly reasonable instruction to be followed).

I didn't realise calling a child naughty wasn't a thing anymore

It would be even more interesting to see the overlap between parents that use the wishy washy voice, and those that find it difficult to take their nt children out in public because they are 'a handful' 'spirited' 'run off' 'don't listen'.

Wtf is wrong with people these days?? Is this why there are so many undisciplined brats around?

Yes

It's all very well to expect parents to reason with children, but small children haven't developed the capacity or experience for logical reasoning.