Upset by people calling DS naughty

[Cocomelon9902]

Naughty... I don't like the word...

Today my DS threw his toy phone on the floor a few times, and my nan called him naughty, and put the toy away.

AIBU being upset over this...
Shes 84, so I know a lot of things she says I just nod and agree, it isn't worth the hassle.
But he's only 1, I don't think he's naughty!

Your nan is 84 and has already bought up her own children and been a nan to you. I am sure she called both your parent and you naughty at some time in your life and you both managed to survive such negativity so I am sure your dc will as well.

He's naughty. Accept it

I am NC with my parents, so have actually been through it.

Keeping the baby away for these reason would be pathetic.

“That’s naughty!” is fine IMO.

“You’re very naughty!” - not ok, but given its your elderly GM, if she did say that I’d just gloss over it. She won’t give your DS a complex from an occasional comment.

Just take it with a pinch of salt, an outdated word from an elderly woman. Don’t restrict her access because of it, how upsetting for her.

My gran (who in general is quite horrible, we don’t see her anymore) calls all babies brats. It horrible and I hate it, but she really is using it with affection. She’s also Greek so I guess it’s possible it’s a lost in translation type thing.

So, we've covered the abusive nan.
Who are the other "people" calling him naughty?

Fwiw, no, he's not naughty at 1 to be chucking stuff. But it's perhaps never too early to gently encourage him not to. My friend's aunt was fairly frosty with her after her then 2 year old managed to smash a glass door by lobbing a Thomas train at it.

He's one - he didn't care what she was saying - he's too busy throwing his phone.
Honestly - how lovely he has a great granny to love him, if you aren't keen on the word just gently correct her next time she says it.
This is so far from being a big deal it doesn't even register on the richter scale of deals.

So calling naughty behaviour is not on , but saying that was a Bad choice is fine?

Naughty ...bad ,....choice..behaviour/action nope not seeing whybone is better than the other

I'd take it with a pinch of salt to be honest - she's 84 and saying 'naughty' was an acceptable thing when her children were young. It's hardly the worst thing she could say and let's face it, he won't understand/remember anyway.

I agree that it's not naughty, and I don't like the word naughty being used with my Son

I just think you have to accept it is probably a generation thing as I don't know anyone of my generation who use it.

It's not really a cut them out of your life scenario, she's 84 for goodness sake.

If it's an outdated word then what's the updated version?
My dear old MIL has a whole vocabulary of outdated words that make me cringe but she doesn't mean any harm.
Your dnan would be upset if she knew she'd offended you.
Also, both my DC could be properly naughty if they had a mind to be, it can be quite an appropriate adjective sometimes!

@Cocomelon9902

Aww don't worry about it.

I don't like age being used an an excuse for certain behaviours or things people say, but it is sometimes a reason.

Don't take it to heart, she would not have meant anything bad.

*Keep him away from her in future.
*
LOL

I've used the word a fair few times as my DD really enjoys getting toys and attempting to hit her DB (they're twins) with them. If I don't tell her it's naughty behaviour - how is she going to learn?

I get that at 1yo (or 2yo as my DD and DS are) it's not deliberate bad behaviour, but we have to tell them that some things aren't acceptable so that they can eventually learn. So long as it's said calmly I don't see an issue? But then I was raised by alcoholic grandparents who said far worse than this so I guess I'm not the best judge!

ShinyRuby- if MN is anything to go by, the modern version is "spirited" or "no angel but"

I think the 'gentle parenting' method would be: never tell them they are naughty, correct their behaviour or show disapproval.

which is why gently parented children are universally awful

It depends a bit whether he is 13months or nearing 2.

The pearl clutching over "naughty" is ridiculous.

As is this premise that it's an outdated word and hence part of an 84 year old woman's vocabulary. If anything she's being quite modern by using "naughty". The world didn't evolve the day some posters decided to read a "progressive" parenting book.

Good God, someone born around 1935 didn’t get the ‘how to talk to toddlers’ memo.

There are plenty of outdated offensive words to get upset about, this isn’t one.

ShinyRuby- if MN is anything to go by, the modern version is "spirited" or "no angel but"

Very true!!

This is all such a non event.

My late mum and her sister my aunt, who would be in, their 90s now, used to say 'l know what he does want' if they heard a tantrumming toddler demanding 'l want, l want...' Mum had a stage whisper too, l used to walk off pretend l wasn't with her. As others have said a generational thing.

"Naughty... I don't like the word...

Today my DS threw his toy phone on the floor a few times, and my nan called him naughty, and put the toy away."

If she had said "No!" and put the toy away, would you be bothered? She is trying to teach him not to throw things. If 1 is too young, when do you think she/you should stat teaching him not to throw things?

Children aren't naughty, they just sometimes make the wrong choice

Don't these just mean the same thing? Naughty does not mean evil, it means badly behaved. Aka making the wrong choice??

Children aren't naughty, they just sometimes make the wrong choice

Wut ? ? Don’t be ridiculous.

I can't stand the word. I wouldn't be able to stop myself saying (as kindly as I could muster), please don't use that word.