Upset by people calling DS naughty

[Cocomelon9902]

Naughty... I don't like the word...

Today my DS threw his toy phone on the floor a few times, and my nan called him naughty, and put the toy away.

AIBU being upset over this...
Shes 84, so I know a lot of things she says I just nod and agree, it isn't worth the hassle.
But he's only 1, I don't think he's naughty!

My sons are now 18 and 16 years old before they went to nursery and school they had the naughty chair when they misbehaved and then when they went to primary school I was told not to say the word naughty just that they had made the wrong choice. Both of them now realise they remember that when you have done something wrong there is a consequence whatever you call it.

In the nicest possible way. Your nan was spot on. Even if your child does not understand, he still needs to know that it's not ok to throw things and that there are consequences for his actions. It's never too early to learn.

I am really getting tired of kids not having any ownership of their bad behaviour and everyone else is at fault. I don't think I want to deal with these adults.

Kind hands, 😂😂

@LolaSmiles first time I had to say something like "oh no don't hit poor bob, use your kind hands and words" I cringed so bad. I still remember being told about all the things we can't say and thinking my supervisor was joking even though he really wasn't the type to joke. Can't remember exactly what I said the other day but it was my first day back and I was definitely in "mum language" mode and it was something like "don't make me come over there!" Or along those lines. The shock from the staff was hilarious and I'm now back in nicey-nice mode but that first day was hard. In my particular nursery we aren't even allowed to blaspheme despite not being a religious nursery, my friend got really told off for it when she tripped over almost landing on a child and went "oh my god" 🤷‍♀️

Surely the baby is just exploring trajectory?

Ffs there is nothing wrong with the word naughty! If my child does something he shouldn’t, I say that’s naughty we don’t do that. I really don’t see why it’s an issue. Stop being so precious.

happinessishereblog.com/why-i-dont-use-the-word-naughty/

\FFs now kids cant be called naughty-no wonder theyre a bunch of snowflakes these days

happinessishereblog.com/why-i-dont-use-the-word-naughty/

What a load of crap, OP 😂

I reiterate, this is exactly why we have the snowflake generation. Congratulations for raising your child into that 🙄

Better call SS.

I’m a teacher. I’ve never heard a colleague use the word in 12 years. We certainly do have boundaries in school. You must agree there are better and worse ways to enforce boundaries or we’d all be beating our children still. Calling children naughty is unnecessary and unhelpful. There are many good and healthy ways of setting boundaries for a 14month old and calling them naughty certainly does not (and should not) be part of it.
So, while we’re all gadding about setting boundaries to avoid delinquency, I think it’s quite right that OP’s nan is set some boundaries.

Lol my 1 year old is most certainly naughty

It has nothing to do with a "snowflake generation" as these parents are still setting boundaries and reprimanding unacceptable behaviour just without using the word naughty.

It's so interesting how annoyed some people get when they have a different opinion to someone else. I have not 'decided' the word naughty cannot be used
I don't like the word, nor would I use it. I don't know any teacher that does but clearly some of you do.
Hopefully things have changed in the last 25 years for the better and will continue to do so.

What people don’t realise is that when they stop using a particular word, like ‘naughty’, all it means is, is that another word takes its place.

For example, there was a previous thread on here about a parent stating that they never use the word ‘no’ towards their child because of its negative connotations and weren’t we all so awful for using it. When pressed by posters, the OP admitted they instead use the word ‘Don’t’ in place of no and they really didn’t see the irony. I kid you not.

Language is language and the amazing thing about humans is that we have tone, we have context and we use body language and all of this combined means that the word ‘naughty’ can be used without ‘scarring a child for life’, much less a one year old who is barely registering much being said.

ChloeDecker

That is one of the most batshit things I’ve ever read. ‘“No” has negative connotations”’ - er, no shit, Sherlock. 😂😂

The problem with saying 'I dont like the word naughty because it impacts how the child sees themseleves so say xyz' is that in 30 years people will be viewing 'xyz' in the same way naughty is now.

Any word connected with negative behaviour will become 'not productive' or 'labelling a child not the behaviour'. Because once everyone uses the new phrases it will have the same connotations as people feel 'naughty' does now.

What people don’t realise is that when they stop using a particular word, like ‘naughty’, all it means is, is that another word takes its place
Yes.
I don't use the word naughty at work, but that's because it doesn't really work for secondary students. It sounds odd to me, but I use rude, disruptive, unpleasant, unkind, offensive, etc to describe behaviour.

Even then you get the language police in reports in some schools where staff have to euphemistically say X is a friendly and outgoing student who is keen to share their ideas. It would be lovely to see X wait their turn before speaking and consider if all their ideas are relevant'
Aka X is chatty, disruptive, sometimes has some good ideas but really shouts out whatever they want and needs to have some manners

@ChloeDecker said it better than me.

Sorry the full thread didnt load and posted a very similar point

Madness! If people choose not to call their child naughty fair enough. They choose another word. But surely it doesn’t matter what word it is it will mean the same thing so it has the same effect.

The difference is you are labelling the behaviour not the child. Small but very significant difference.

And yet somehow telling a child they are making the wrong choices is less harmful to their developing sense of worth and psyche ? An action can be naughty, carrying out that action can be naughty. It’s a learning process about what is acceptable within that child’s world. Wrong choices is a broad, woolly, undefinable concept to a small child which puts more pressure on them.

Next time just reitiorate and say to him straight after in ear shot "you're not naughty, you just did naughty behaviour. And naughty boys do naughty things and you're a good boy so do good things. Must do naughty things"

While he is not naughty she did right by letting him know such behaviour is naughty. It might be acceptable for him to do so now as he does not fully understand his actions but this will lead to him doing it when he is too old and then all of the sudden is naughty for doing it. Babies learn early from socialization what is and is not ok. His behaviour was not desirable and he was told it is naughty. That is a good thing.

I think the worlds gone mad, being annoyed over a word and people actually suggesting you break contact. 😂😂😂 agree with Trainspotting, definitely a police matter 🙄

Key question to me is whether you want th phase of chucking stuff to be over asap, or if you are happy to live with it for as long as it lasts unrestrained.

I think DC need to learn, right from toddlerhood, that some behaviours are undesirable.

Yes, it is better to say the behaviour is naughty, rather than characterising the person, so if you have family members who don't see the disctinction there, then you will need to tell DC that it's shorthand for their conduct at threat point and that it's a very common way of putting it