AIBU to think that Mumsnet is becoming increasingly less feminist and that this..

[BertrandRussell]

..is a bad thing?

Also given the choice I’d get hairy feminist lobbed at me over cis or apologist / MRA, almost old school in its backwards nature. At least it’s in line with what I think.

BertrandRussell & GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman

I think that the difference is that on other boards, the same view can be received in different ways depending on who is posting.

On FWR there seems to be a party line that must be adhered to. In many ways it has stopped being a discussion board and is more an echo chamber.

“ Sometimes they may be true but a lot if the time they are not, hence this thread.“
Well, actually, not hence this thread-it was supposed to be about something completely different!

Hence the replies to this thread

I think a lot of people are responding to a different thread......

On other boards people may robustly disagree with you but they do so without immediately accusing you of being a troll/MRA/"community disrupter". It's a very easy way of completely shutting someone down and it really doesn't happen on other parts of MN.

I suppose where it has gone is relevant to many. I tried to divert to the original question a couple of times and not many takers.

Yes I have tried too. The victim blaming is really prevalent at the moment. This is on general threads NOT fwr, it's really creepy.

It was victim blaming about a character in the Archers that prompted me to start the thread!

For gods sake dont read the prince Andrew thread then!

Also FWR in particular, is very “white British” centric.

How do you know what colour posters are? They’re discussing women, not colour or race.

There used to be a hijab wearing Muslim poster (no idea of her ethnicity, nationality or colour) who was very interesting- and robust- about her faith. I can’t remember her ever being “silenced” or “shouted down” - or her complaining about anyone doing that. I don’t think she’s around any more, but I am pretty sure it’s not because she was.

There are lots of Muslim (and ex Muslim) posters.

Yes, I know there are- I only mentioned this one because she posted frequently and eloquently and made me think. I wish I could remember her name.

I can't either but then I'm notoriously crap with names!

I don't know why people would assume all posters (and lurkers!) on the feminist boards are white British. Are we not supposed to be eloquent and care about our rights? Should we mention our background every time we post? I am a hijab-wearing non-British Muslim woman. I joined Mumsnet a while ago when I was expecting my first, but now they have grown a bit and I am able to follow intellectual discussions, I do spend a lot of time reading FWR boards. I think most of the issues discussed are very relevant to the lives of Muslim women and other women of faith, and they are topics of conversation that come up often amongst mothers. Many are not happy about their children being told they can change sex and coming home distressed and confused. Many of us are worried about our jobs and positions too. I really respect Mumsnet for allowing free speech on its boards, when it's being shut down everywhere else. This is a feminist position in my view, to allow women to talk about whatever concerns them.

I’m not saying anybody can’t or shouldn’t come on Where did I say that? I’m non- British myself and had a very religious upbringing to be honest. DH is from a Middle-Eastern background. I’ve been shot down in flames when I’ve tried to be honest about some aspects of my relationship or the relatives on MN because people get livid so quickly and call “abuse”, “LTB” and other insults based on one scenario in the opening post. They don’t understand, but then if you try and explain the wider context you get accused of “drip feeding”, or “making excuses,” or “why aren’t you listening to us?” Everyone piles in and it can get very aggressive until the threads cuts off at 1000 posts or you just have to stop engaging. Even though you know it’s the internet, it can be quite stressful if aspects of your life do not necessarily adhere to pre-approved MN principles and when people feed off each other, all using the same distinct MN phrases and language, it can feel like a mob (even if it’s a well-intentioned mob on the whole).

I actually think it’s really racist to assume that all of FWR are white British, as it implies that none white none British women are unable or unwilling to discuss issues that affect all women. We may all have certain things that we accept as our normal, because of our various different cultures, but we all want to support women and free them from different forms of male oppression.

I’m saying that there’s a certain reaction that you know you’ll get on AIBU. For instance, when I tried to explain some issues with my MIL, people told me to go NC, tell her to f* off, stop being a handmaiden, etc etc, but they don’t accept that that’s not actually realistic and then they get angry with you because you aren’t reacting in the way they have or would within their families.

Erm. A poster from a minority background is talking about her experience about being made to feel uncomfortable on MN and other MNetters' response is to suggest that her perception and reaction are simply wrong and that, in fact, she is the racist one. I mean, you're not doing yourselves any favours here really....

I got distracted halfway through so accidentally xposted with that poster. My comment wasn’t directed at here, so my apologies to her if it seemed that way.

mauva thankyou.
No problem at all T0tally

I suspect only white British posters could be unaware that Mumsnet is white British dominated! It's not unique to FWR, it's site-wide, and I don't think it's necessarily a criticism but a fact. The racism threads on AIBU, for example, are abaolutely full of white people who are often completely unaware of their privelege.

Sadly, I think that there is quite a bit of racism on MN. And yes, much of it flows from lack of awareness of white privilege or refusal to acknowledge that it exists.

Not only white people are racist. Any people can be racist against other groups of people - it's not exclusive to white people.
I get fed up always being treated as one of the bad guys.