Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that Mumsnet is becoming increasingly less feminist and that this..

857 replies

BertrandRussell · 29/11/2019 11:33

..is a bad thing?

OP posts:
T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 01/12/2019 08:56

In what way, Meganc559. Can you give us examples of what you mean? Do you mean those women that ‘identify’ as feminists while telling is to move over and let the poor men in? Or those that say they’re feminists while telling abused women that maybe their abuser is just tired, depressed, autistic, etc and the woman should try harder? Perhaps it’s those posters who say they’re feminists and porn is ‘empowering’ for women, but of course they’d never get into porn themselves? Could you elaborate please?

HandsOffMyRights · 01/12/2019 08:58

Birds It captures my thoughts exactly.
And, had I not been initially drawn to FWR by the self ID debate, I would have remained in my bubble about other areas of feminism too like sex work, surrogacy, abortion, 'rough sex' and DV, which that board also discusses at great length.

LolaSmiles · 01/12/2019 08:59

Out of interest Megan why exactly do they give women a bad name?

I disagree on a number of issues with a range of posters on certain issues whilst agreeing on others, but wouldn't say they give women a bad name because it's absolutely a central part of feminism to have that healthy debate.

I have a horrible feeling your "proof" of giving women a bad name is going to stem from 'they're so mean about men, they hate men, but what about men'.

HandsOffMyRights · 01/12/2019 08:59

And porn of course (seeing Totally's post).

birdsdestiny · 01/12/2019 09:00

Yes it is the wealth of knowledge on those subjects which draws me to fwr.

Meganc559 · 01/12/2019 09:14

I just think throughout history women have complained about equal rights and stating they want to be exactly equal to a man yet they don't follow through,

For example most feminists I know (I am not saying all) are for Abortion because its the women's body and it should her be choice.
Yes it is the women's body however it is also the man's child and alot of women don't take this into account.
I get that we re the ones that have to carry the child to term however if you weren't prepared for that then don't have unprotected sex.

There was a time where women felt oppressed by men, they feel that men earn more than women
This is the case in some cases but its because women choose to put family before work, a man is more likely to work through the night to finish there work however women are more likely to take more time off to see there daughters dance recital or sons football game therefore they would earn less.

So to answer your question I think some feminists give women a bad name as they make white men be the bad guys. And sorry but they complain about everything!

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2019 09:20

Yes it is the women's body however it is also the man's child and alot of women don't take this into account
I get that we re the ones that have to carry the child to term however if you weren't prepared for that then don't have unprotected sex

How about the man doesn’t have unprotected sex?

This is the case in some cases but its because women choose to put family before work, a man is more likely to work through the night to finish there work however women are more likely to take more time off to see there daughters dance recital or sons football game therefore they would earn less

You need to unpack your thinking around this.

as they make white men be the bad guys

Ah yes the true oppressed class

drspouse · 01/12/2019 09:21

Megan does contraception never fail then?

MIdgebabe · 01/12/2019 09:22

In what way is the mans skin colour relevent?

MIdgebabe · 01/12/2019 09:23

"The mans child"

Can you own a person ?

MIdgebabe · 01/12/2019 09:24

The mans child

Is it a child ? It's certainly not capable of living without a parasitic host

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 01/12/2019 09:25

Thank you.

I can see how abortion can impact on men - but the sad truth is that until men can conceive, carry, birth and care for a child then it has to be the woman’s choice. That’s just biology.
And the issue is equal pay for equal work- and creating a situation where childcare is not solely a woman’s responsibility.
As for complaining- I don’t think that’s just a female prerogative!

OP posts:
GranaryGhost · 01/12/2019 09:27

Well OP I present Meganc and can offer no rebuttal to your opening point.

HandsOffMyRights · 01/12/2019 09:28

In answer to your OP, Bert based on Megan's observations, I'd say, yes. Mumnsnet is definitely becoming less feminist!

Meganc559 · 01/12/2019 09:33

To answer the questions

So yes a man should be protected however a women is the one that can get pregnant there's they should defo be protect and if you are worried about getting pregnant then don't have sex with a man that's not protected too.

Contraception does fail however does that mean the baby has to die because you don't feel like going through with the product of sex. It's no secret sex creates babies if your not ready don't have sex

I am not saying the man 'owns' the child however it is half him and half you. Have you had a child? Is it your child?

Of course it's a child, it is a living being at the moment of conception. Yes it requires a'host'. But then a new born baby wouldnt be able to survive without a mother, doesthat mean you should leave it to die because you don't want a child

I'm sorry op I disagree, yes you are responsible for carrying the child but you chose to have sex with the possibility of getting pregnant that doesn't mean the child deserves to die

JacobReesClunge · 01/12/2019 09:38

If you think the pregnant women is merely the host megan, you need to learn more about biology.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 01/12/2019 09:39

Megan- I profoundly disagree with you. You are of course free to hold the views you do- you are not free to impose them on other women. But thank you for responding.

OP posts:
HandsOffMyRights · 01/12/2019 09:41

if your not ready don't have sex

I'll remind my friend who was raped as a child about that one.

MarshaBradyo · 01/12/2019 09:41

I’m still not convinced feminism is declining on mn. If we didn’t move towards things like the toys campaign but in the other direction then maybe.

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2019 09:41

Contraception does fail however does that mean the baby has to die because you don't feel like going through with the product of sex. It's no secret sex creates babies if your not ready don't have sex

Which is why we have contraception. Women have another option to not be pregnant. Men do not.

I am not saying the man 'owns' the child however it is half him and half you. Have you had a child? Is it your child?

Of course. That didn’t give him any rights over my reproductive system.

Of course it's a child, it is a living being at the moment of conception. Yes it requires a'host'. But then a new born baby wouldnt be able to survive without a mother, doesthat mean you should leave it to die because you don't want a child

A newborn could survive without a mother. It needs caring for, it doesn’t actually matter by whom whether that’s the father, adoptive parents etc. A foetus absolutely needs the biological mother to keep it alive.

I'm sorry op I disagree, yes you are responsible for carrying the child but you chose to have sex with the possibility of getting pregnant that doesn't mean the child deserves to die

And fortunately the law disagrees. When I have sex using contraception I do it in the knowledge that should something go wrong abortion is available.

Suggesting women shouldn’t have access to legal, safe abortion is absolutely the antithesis of feminist choice.

SmileEachDay · 01/12/2019 09:42

I just think throughout history women have complained about equal rights and stating they want to be exactly equal to a man yet they don’t follow through

2 women a week are murdered by men in the U.K. Average pay for women is around 17% less. 117 million girls are aborted every year worldwide for being girls. 85,0000 females reported rapes last year in the U.K.

I’d say that was worth making a massive fuss about.

Meganc559 · 01/12/2019 09:44

I do not think women are a host, that was a poster before me words not mine, I was merely using there term so they knew I was answering there question.
I know quite alot about biology thank you

I am voicing my opinions, other posters are allowed to impose there views on me but because I have a view women get pissed about that I have to shut up! 😂

Sorry but alot of feminist need to get a grip and stop moaning that the whole world is against them

I know there's a lot of women that are reading this with the same views as me but can't be arsed with the back lash you receive from these strong in dependant women!

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2019 09:47

strong in dependant women!

You do know that isn’t an insult....

Meganc559 · 01/12/2019 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LolaSmiles · 01/12/2019 09:49

So when I said the letting women down was going to be "but poor men, won't someone think of the men" that was pretty much it.