If Your child wanted to board for sixth form and you could afford it, would you let them?

[notnowmaybelater]

We live in the EU outside the UK.

DD was born in the UK, I'm English, DD and has duel citizenship. She hasn't lived in the UK since she was a baby.

DD has been educated in the state system in our non UK country since she was 3. She's currently in the equivalent of year 10 (as in the year before the GCSE equivalents).

She's desperate to go to the UK for 6th form. Staying with family isn't practical (my parents are elderly and live very rurally).

She's eligible for a state boarding school place (parents pay boarding fees of about £10,000 per year, so fairly expensive but far cheaper than a private boarding school).

We can afford this but its not peanuts to us, it's a hefty hit and because there's also be multiple flights per year and other expenses would either mean using savings or cutting out things like family holidays - she's not an only child so cutting holidays would be rather unfair...)

She's currently very, very keen on the idea. She's only been away from home on school trips of maximum 10 days up to now.

There are perfectly good options (equivalent of a grammar school sixth form and a sixth form college) locally to where we live, but she wants to live in the UK...

Would you let your DD board overseas in this situation (1.5 hours flight away). Moving with her isn't an option - two younger children in local schools, work etc.

She'll be only just 16 when she starts sixth form.

Dutch1e and that's the other side of it!

I don't know...

If I was sure my child really wanted to and understood exactly what boarding means, yes I would. I'd also let her or him come home at the end of the first term if they changed their mind.

FAQs very similar sounding school. The deadline to apply is end of August though (so 12 months and a few days in advance).

How is she eligible for state funded boarding? There is very little provision, especially with IB.

Also, she may be eligible but have zero chance of actually getting a place.

There is a state boarding school in my small town, and I have a couple of friends working there. They speak fondly of the teens that board, and they seem to have a great time.
If you afford it, then let her try x

I would allow this. I think given your rural location it would be a super opportunity for her to spread her wings.

Loopytiles we've been in contact with schools and she is eligible for state boarding school - not for the state to ay the boarding fees (I'm not sure whether that's what you meant). So state education but we pay for boarding.

All UK citizens living overseas are eligible. It doesn't mean she'd get a place, but I've been in communication with several schools and although not all were suitable all confirmed her eligibility.

Loopytiles that would solve the problem tbh - if we apply and she doesn't get a place we've tried, but she'll have to stay here... The question is whether to apply.

Were going over to visit the most suitable school, and if she doesn't like it that will also solve the issue... However if she does like it and still wants to go, do we apply... The school have invited her for the visit.

I appreciate her desire, but it sounds more to me that she would be better off doing a gap year in the UK before heading off to University. She can travel, work and fend for herself (with some financial help from you if needed).

Given the financial burden it would have on you I don't think it's fair on the family. It almost sounds like she wants the gap year experience in the UK but without any implications of having to try and fund it herself?

Boarding in Scotland doesn't make you eligible for free university.

I was a day pupil at and all girls school with a boarding house. After what happened to my boarder friends I would never allow a daughter (if I ever were to have one) to board. While I loved being in a single sex environment for school it doesn’t seem as healthy for weeks on end with no break. I was also shocked by how common it was for girls in the boarding house (similar in other schools too) to end up in abusive relationships/be sexually assaulted at parties etc.

Have you read the admissions criteria and reports on admissions? That should give an indication of chances of a space.

Alarae I don't think she's thinking about it that way - she's talked about year as an Au-Pair in a French speaking country before or after university but gap years aren't a concept in quite the same way as in the UK - young adults here sometimes do a voluntary social service year which is a state scheme. They work in a socially useful area such as adult social care or youth work, although there are also some placements which are more like political internships, in return for a fairly small allowance. Nobody talks about gap years here, just about Au-Pair years or the volunteer years (which are not abroad).

Velveteenfruitbowl it's not an all girl's school. I also have boarding experience but as a weekly boarder. I'm under no illusions it'll be more sheltered than an average 16-18 year old sixth form life, but I don't think the risks are higher.

Loopytiles I haven't come across a report on admissions and have only asked the admissions tutors about whether she is eligible, and have confirmation in writing that she is. I will see if I can find reports on admissions but I'd be surprised by them setting aside two hours of the head of boarding's time and two further hours of the deputy head's time to give us a tour if she were highly unlikely to get a place.

We did it with ds, he went to Peter Symonds in Winchester, which is a state sixth form, with two boarding houses. He loved it. It gave him freedom, although the work still had to be done, was less regulated than a school, as it was only sixth formers there, and he was responsible for his money and his washing...so good training for university.

It was necessity for him though as we were due to move back to UK in the penultimate term of his A2 year, so it was better for him to be in one place for all his sixth form, so continuity of education.

I had done the same 30 years earlier and loved it too.

I definitely would, as you said it would be possible for her siblings too should they wish.

It's a very supportive and structured way to try life in the UK - everyone saying that she can move when she's older seems to have forgotten that for a teenager, six years (finishing her schooling and then a degree) is a lifetime, and it's a lot harder when you are supposed to be an adult suddenly and are trying to cope with that transition and standing on your own too feet in a different country and with little, if any, tailored support.

Mine would love this, and also wants to go to Uni in the UK. However, I am trying to discourage this due to costs - much better for finances and her career choice in fact to stay here. She'd like to do modern languages and then teach (in the UK?) Better to do French/German/Russian/Japanese or whatever here where tuition is 800 euros per year and then do a PGCE in UK, or Masters here afterwards. I can see the appeal of the iBac though. I would only consider it if she had a really bad year this year and had to double.

Tricky one.

I will just say that a friend of mine boarded for sixth form, about 15 years ago at a specialist college in the UK and the stories she came back with (mainly of sex and STIs, it seemed relatively easy for them to get alcohol, too) were horrific - it seemed that the supervision was massively lax because the kids were deemed to be fairly mature but by the sounds of it most of them couldn't handle the freedom and the results were really messy. Of course the parents never heard the half of any of what happened. But there was some seriously dodgy stuff going down.

It might be better now in terms of supervision, but as it wasn't that long ago I'm not sure. And it might be better in terms of behaviour if most of the students aren't UK nationals, just based on my totally stereotyped experience of UK teens vs other European teens.

Vehemently and Absolutely against boarding ... until sixth form. Then IF the child wants it and IF you are prepared to pull them out if it's not working then yes...

I am biased. DH was sent from age 7 (which imho is tantamount to child neglect)

Ours benefitted hugely from boarding for sixth form. They had great fun, worked hard as everyone else was, had a fantastic range of extracurricular opportunities and it was a good step up towards university and eventual independence.
Our eldest didn’t but I wished in hindsight she had.

Yes definitely. In fact that is exactly what DD16 is doing. She started the IB this term.

She absolutely loves it at school and has a great friendship group. She is at home most weekends but sometimes opts to stay in school if there are vents she wants to join in with.

Trying to guess which country you live in. Sounds like it could be Germany. If so, UK boarding school at A levels will be a much more sheltered and disciplined experience than a German Oberstufe

If it were my DD and my family I would push for waiting until University.?