Back story - DP is an alcoholic
Dc is 2 in two weeks
I’m a stay at home mum and only receive a small amount of tax credits and use most of it to cover food shopping etc. Never spend money on myself and have to ask DP for money for DC and rent etc.
Anyway, at least twice a week DP will just not come home, he’ll be out drinking all night and spend hundreds (and if he doesn’t have the money then he will borrow money from his friends which then impacts the next week as he has to pay it all back). Long story short we are skint, behind on the rent etc etc.
I’ve got a few presents for my DC for her birthday that I’ve bought with my child benefit and any spare cash but nothing for Christmas and to be honest I can’t see us even having money for a tree let alone food and presents.
On top of this I don’t even really feel like having a Christmas just because I feel so depressed and stressed all the time because of the way I’m treated, like I’m not important and like I came off the bottom of someone’s shoe.
Please no judgement, I knowI should just leave. I know I’ll get there in the end but at the moment it’s extremely hard as I’m pregnant with my second and my first is still young and it’s hard to deal with everything, not sure how I’d cope on my own!
I just feel like crying every time I think about Christmas, I know I’d spend the day cooking and cleaning up after everyone and wouldn’t get to sit down, I’d have to watch everyone opening presents (if we could afford any in the first place) and no one would bother getting me one because I’m clearly not important enough
Not sure what question I’m asking here really I guess is just like a kind word or something, I’m really struggling