To not allow DS to come home for Xmas

[peekachew]

Apologies for the slightly clickbait-y title.

Last week DS moved to NZ for 6 months in order to continue training for a very niche profession. He has expressed wishes to come home for Xmas but would only actually be home for 6 days! I think it's pointless given plane tickets are easily £1500 a pop Not to mention the 24+ hrs of travel required.

He's a young sociable lad who has the world at his feet, surely it's not unreasonable to expect him to spend Xmas over there. I know he is missing our 3 dogs (grew up with them) and wants a traditional (i.e cold) Xmas. We do have the money if it makes a difference but it's such a waste imo.

Also, he's offered to pay half.

Quite agree with you MrsRomanoff

Yawn.
Talk about only understanding what is fitting with your view

If he wanted to come home I’d make it happen but I’m a big softie when it comes to kids. And Christmas.

Talk about only understanding what is fitting with your view

Or rather talk about nor really having a point if view.

It doesnt matter if he is or isnt coping
It doesnt matter what OP thinks
It doesnt matter if its more than you or OP would spend.
It doesnt matter if you think it's a luxury.

What matters is the parents are happy with the arrangement. He is happy.

OP says they are a soft touch with both of them. She isnt being left out.

What everyone else would or wouldn't do, doesn't make anyone better people or parents.

It also doesnt make him or their parents unreasonable

What's unreasonable is that the OP was trying to get him to take a road trip or have any opinion on it, when it doesnt involve her

I think if he left last week then it is wasteful and bad for the environment too.

Haven't rtft but he needs to enjoy nz! I've lived there and over Xmas too and had a ball. So much to do between the bbq's and Boxing Day races. He needs to get out and explore.

I ended up having so many offers for Xmas day I had to turn them all down as we made plans.

Nz'ers are a friendly bunch. No way I'd be spending any money to fly him home (half even!) because he may never go back. It's an experience

No way I'd be spending any money to fly him home (half even!) because he may never go back.

Not the OP's money though.

I’ve only skimmed the thread, I would be encouraging of him to stay in NZ in your shoes. A friend of mine did the same course over Xmas last year and I had some serious envy looking through their snaps on Facebook, they all cooked dinner together Xmas day, went a did a park run, had secret Santa etc. so I think if he allows himself to hell have a blast. Also worth considering the effect of jet lag...another friend has been back from a 2 week trip to NZ for 5 days now and has been awake at 2/3am and in bed by 8/9pm despite trying to stay up later to get a routine back.

Honestly OP, you sound incredibly jealous.

To my mind it seems as if your brother is the apple of your parents eye, he's gone away and you thought that this Christmas would be time for you and them, but now he wants to come back and piss in your porridge.

Could be way off, but that's really how it sounds. If that's not the case then I think you need to re-evaluate exactly why you think he shouldn't come back.
It's sod all to do with you anyway. Definitely don't mention it to your parents, if they want to pay for him to come back then that's down to them - they clearly want him there, even if you don't!

I can't tell if this is a joke or not? A lot of parents would be grateful older children want to spend Xmas with them! If I had the money I wouldn't think twice. I'd find it to see my kid. What I can't understand is why he'd want to come back??

@woolie34

I can't tell if this is a joke or not?

Maybe you could if you RTFT? You don't read threads so not sure why your DC would want to spend Xmas with you

He should definitely stay in NZ

What's the point of going, if he doesn't experience life there

He can phone, Skype instead