Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

[pinkboa]

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

Apologies for the spectrum comment, i didnt mean it to offend anyone, just the blinkered tunnel vision views made me wonder.

Think its pretty apparent your just a full on entitled bitch op 🤷‍♀️

Ps...I think its you that needs to get out your box, you can not enter male spaces, end of.

I did think India. But then I baulked as I did not know enough about India. Or about the sea swimming aspect there .... and then thought there would be public pools /baths surely.

OP, every time a man sees you in their space, you erode down the argument for single sex spaces.

From a man's POV, you could make him uncomfortable to a point where he leaves and is unable to use a space designed for him. He may feel uncomfortable for a number of reasons including a fear that you may pull a Roxanne Pallett and claim he hurt you or worse. He may not like women he doesn't know see him in a vulnerable state. He may have a whole bunch of other reasons which may include being abused (yes it happens to men too). Just because statistically there is a lower chance of randomly coming across a man who has been abused by a female, does not mean that you never will. And he should not be put in that position for your comfort.

Your comfort does not trump other people's.

There is also always a chance that you encourage men to start doing the same thing in women's spaces. It's like giving them a green light. And that can be dangerous.
Now, you may not have any issue with a man using a female space, but surely you understand why many women are? And tbh your attitude will end you up in trouble. You will either end up in a situation where you are reported for your behaviours and potentially banned or labelled a pervert, or potentially in a dangerous situation yourself.

Op - my 11 year old son uses public toilets which are labelled for the exclusive use of males. He, and I would be very uncomfortable about a woman being in there and would certainly report it. You have no right to use a male facility.
Seriously, what planet are you on?

@rowrowrowyaboat

Yes I am a bitch... thank you. But I can't say I blame you for your poor vocabulary... you are probably a reflection of your upbringing. Have a good day.

@KeraStase

Have you ever been in the men's restroom?

@Winesalot

Did you read that "culture" part in context with the point I was making. Well let me make it clear. Of all the things on this thread that spectrum comment has annoyed me the most. Because, on a thread like this it has no bearing and it's often thrown around in threads like this by people who cannot or won't even bother to understand that just because someone disagrees with you/your perspective it doesn't mean some thing is neurologically wrong with them. People are different... it's the world we live in, we are all shaped by different things...culture being one of them. It is an insult to insinuate that something must be wrong with you for "not agreeing with me" and an insult to people on the spectrum.

People are still angling to get a word in edgewise even after I have said this thread, for me, at least has become a laughing stock... you are all frothing at the fingers just to put your two cents in on a point that has long been made and accepted. I am having a damn good laugh again today. Do carry because I enjoy reading them.

@Biancadelrioisback

Fair points. Don't know who Roxanne is. But again It's not about comfort...I need a toilet. You haven't even bothered to ask if I have issues where that is concerned, you're assuming I am being bare faced and entitled.
I've also probably to the shock and horror of people here used the outdoors for a wee... and once I was on a hike and needed a poo and dug a hole and carried on with life.

What a thoroughly repulsive comment about rowrowrowyaboat's upbringing/vocabulary OP. And that in turn shows more about yours.

Well, I am a man who takes his two year old daughter to swimming class every week. We get out of the pool dripping wet and head into the men's changing room where we had changed into our swimwear. There are a couple of benches, a bank of lockers near the benches and, er, that's it.

Whilst still dripping in my speedos I plonk her down on the bench to take off her swim nappy and dry her. I'll then walk back and forth to the locker for dry nappies and then items of clothing to get her dressed. Once that's done I'll take off my speedos and dry myself whilst naked. I'm not entirely certain how else I could prepare myself for my own clothing. Normally DD will still be sitting on the bench so I'll face her and chat to her while I do it. Anyone else sitting on the bench getting dressed is going to see cock. Anyone on the other bench or anywhere else in the changing room is going to see arsecrack, although since I shave it (to make my farts louder, no other reason) it is hopefully not quite so repulsive to any random women who might be there.

Once I'm dry, depending on which locker I've used it might take me a whole three or four seconds to walk over to the locker to grab my Y-fronts. Once those are on, no more bits and pieces on display.

It has never once occurred to me that this might be viewed as deviant. It has pretty much been my routine since I started using changing rooms by myself at boarding school 35 years ago, and I know full well that as male changing routines go it's pretty normal. The presence of DD makes absolutely no difference. It's a changing room where people, you know, get changed. On the other hand, it would also never occur to me to use the women's changing room because that would be, er, deviant.

As a previous poster said, it really is as if OP has landed from another planet.

Kiwis, what is the NZ norm on getting changed in a changing room if a child is also in there?

OP all these posters are telling you that you are wrong. Have you got the hint yet?

@pinkboa

I am not the poster who has mentioned being on a spectrum or you being entitled.

However, I am the poster who mentioned that if you have issues with pelvic floor or any other bladder control issues, get checked out and you might be able to use the disabled loo if you are in that situation. Or, ask the queue of women if you can go before them. You never should have a need to use the men’s loo (maybe, if it is a single cubicle and no men around waiting.)

You have mentioned cultural differences separately to the spectrum comment in this post. Yet, I perceive you to have a bit of cultural blindness regarding toilets in the countries you are living in.

Is that blindness deliberate? Don’t know. But if you have issues where you need to find a loo so quickly, you need to find another solution and pack away the Do.not.care attitude!

You do seem to willfully not be taking up the feedback that it is simply not ok to nip into the gents. Conversely, you have taken on board that you were in the wrong to be in the men’s changing room. It is wrong to ignore this feedback Pink when there are other alternatives available to you.

I note that @pinkboa hasn't answered my point about the disabled loos. Colour me surprised.

Kiwis, what is the NZ norm on getting changed in a changing room if a child is also in there?

Much the same as anywhere I'd expect. Nobody is going to walk round going "look at my hairy bum", they just quietly get on with the business of getting dressed.

The reason I haven't even asked if you have medical issues re needing a toilet is because I think it's irrelevant. There could well be men who also have medical issues meaning they need the toilet and end up soiling themselves while waiting for you to get out of their space. If you have medical issues in that department, you are probably able to use the disabled toilets if you find you cannot get to the ladies toilets quick enough. That should always be the order.
Absolute last resort would be asked a man to enter their toilets space and ask if anyone in their minds if you use the toilet.

Also, my entire last post is applicable to any male space including changing rooms etc.

Fair points. Don't know who Roxanne is. But again It's not about comfort...I need a toilet. You haven't even bothered to ask if I have issues where that is concerned, you're assuming I am being bare faced and entitled.
I've also probably to the shock and horror of people here used the outdoors for a wee... and once I was on a hike and needed a poo and dug a hole and carried on with life.

Well used the disabled toilets if you've got "issues" you still can't use the men's!

Of course the disabled loo could be occupied by entitled parents using it for their children, I suppose the answer would be for them to take their children into the corresponding parents toilets and use them?

What do you reckon @pinkboa?

And as for commenting on people's upbringing, that's almost as hilarious as commenting on how often people are commenting on this thread! When you're so invested that you've been at in for three days instead of making sure you know what tine your child's lessons are!

@pinkboa do you not feel at all hypocritical proudly calling yourself a bitch then getting all offended by the spectrum comment?

Hint: they were just being a bitch to you

Also Roxanne Pallett was a z listed celebrity who appeared on celebrity big brother (a TV show were contestants are monitored 24/7 inside a big house and they vote each other out on a weekly basis). Roxanne accused one of the other contestants (male) of hitting her aggressively for no reason. She turned the whole house against him. As far as he was concerned, everyone believed her, his life was over as he would been known as a woman beater, his reputation destroyed (he had young children too and I think it came out he was also scared that SS may get involved). It was ONLY because the whole house was monitored by cameras that the public and producers were able to see that he did not hit her. She lied for attention and he was cleared. Had there not have been irrefutable evidence that he was innocent, his reputation and relationships would have been destroyed and he never would have been able to work again.
She later admitted that she "was confused" and didn't mean to cause so much upset, but it also came out that she had done this several times in the past and ruined men's lives.
There are many men out there who genuinely worry about these scenarios because they know that people will believe a woman over them (rightly so!).

I think you are revolted by your own hairy arse and just projecting.

Laughing at the upbringing comment from the person who doesn't know basics like which toilet/changing room to use or how to respect a persons privacy

This thread is AMAZING

It's funny that the only person getting worked up is the OP.

@pinkboa

But I've never been in a dressing room with men.

Perhaps they've never been in a changing room with a woman🤔

Boot on the other foot perhaps??

I remember being shocked about nakedness when Iived in Germany but after a while I like the more healthy attitude to human bodies.