Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

[pinkboa]

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

Well it's not like I could see his face? His back was turned to me

Have you even copped on yet that JUST MAYBE he had his back to you so that you couldn't see his penis? Ergo, he was a tad uncomfortable by your presence?

Jesus Christ some people really are THAT self absorbed.......

@pinkboa

If you're real, you're horrible.

Ok. If you did in fact read you would have seen mums-nets response. But hope it made you feel better.

Read my post then? I said I didn't think it could be true, in other words that was my initial thought but then saw MN post (tho they only said you were a long-standing poster, they can't confirm this isn't all bull). I reported you, as I said, as you're goady & winding everyone up.

And yes there are lessons where I do not need to be in the water with my 2 year old. Lessons where the ratio is 2:1 and lessons I am happy to continue with.... one should really not think that because they are used to something happening one way it can't happen any other way...

Ratio is 2:1 now? So 2 teachers for each 1 child??? C'mon!! 'One' doesn't think anything but I can't for a moment figure out how two year olds can be taught how to swim by a 1:2 ratio OR 2:1 ratio. Most parents would feel really odd about passing over their 2 yo to a teacher in that scenario. Sure, a 2 yo CAN'T learn to swim, it's only fun in the water, which is usually done with parents.

Still, I'm pretty sure you're getting your kicks from winding us all up, which I'm indulging now!!!

I wonder if he thought you were a pervert. Maybe he got it out because you were lingering around and wanted to see.

Actually pinkboa, while you have said you will not use that changing room again, did I read correctly that you would use the men’s loos anytime you felt the ladies queue was too long?

Do men not deserve the same privacy that woman do?

Where in the world did you grow up that you learned it was totally acceptable to do this? And no, it was not acceptable in Australia when you lived there either ( unless perhaps you got away with it out bush somewhere).

Can this go in classics please?

Poster complains about a naked man in changing room, drying his body as its wet from swimming.

Turns out poster is female enjoying a leisurely sit down in the MENS changing room.

@EarringsandLipstick

2:1... two children , one teacher. Does it matter how it's written it equates to the same thing. I chose a class where I didn't have to get in the water... purely because I can't be bothered with the shit of getting undressed and then having to do it again especially in winter. I am not doing it and I am happy with the lessons... what else do you want to dissect?

Plus I've got to deal with my hair afterwards. No thanks.

@FrancisCrawford
I don't know who you are... but man! Why are you so worked up over something on the internet! 🤣... look how many responses you've posted since reappearing. Why?

@Ravingstarfish

So many changes...

@Beaverdam

He came and saw me there with my son... so...

@Winesalot

Yes I would. And yes they do. But a toilets a toilet and I need to use it...

Should I wet myself out of politeness? Men's toilets are usually empty... why should I stand in a long line when there is a free and empty toilet there to use.

I couldn't survive in the bush... not the life for me. And I have done it in Australia... I had my baby... ladies and family were full... I used the mens. I'd only had a child a couple months ago and needed to wee.. I will not deprive myself.

@pinkboa, I don’t think @Mamboitaliano is suggesting that you should police other people’s use of the disabled loos. What she is saying is that your dh and child should not be using them because neither of them is disabled.

They have other alternatives - he could take your child into the Gents - whereas disabled people will probably have NO other option, so while your able bodied child is using the disabled loo, a disabled person could end up in discomfort or even soiling themselves!

Can you not understand why this is deeply selfish of your dh?

Ummm... pinkboa. You do what the rest of us women do. And as this is Mumsnet, many posters have also had babies and know exactly what it is like to be busting to wee with pelvic floor issues but if a) you are really that busting you kindly ask if it is ok to go to the front and maybe, just maybe, the line will take pity on you. Or b) if you have a genuine bladder issue that qualifies as a disability, you might check out the disabled loo.

I’d suggest not feigning cultural differences in feeling that ‘popping’ into the men’s loo is ok. unless you are ok for men to do it to the women??? In which case, let me point you to a few threads that might be enlightening.

And again, if it was ok in whatever country you grew up in, perhaps it is time to learn the social mores of toileting of the country you live in and adopt them while you live there. Or even if you are just visiting.

@pinkboa
If the only place to wait is the changing rooms, why did you not wait in the women's until the lesson ended rather than sitting 20 minutes in the men's. Surely they're both adjacent to the pool?

This is like shooting fish in a barrel.

I was not the only parent in the room, there was another father and his son getting dressed for the class.
When you keep on posting remarks like that, I suspect that many reading the thread wonder if you really understand the point about the Men's Changing Rooms being for men and their children, including daughters up to age 7.

a lot of women are prudish and in truth would never go into a men's changing room even if it was a class specifically for toddlers and it was empty I.DO.NOT.CARE
For the record, women don't avoid the Men's Changing Room out of prudishness.

It's because all over the world, everyone above age 5 knows that Men's changing rooms are for men and their children, up to age 7 if female, and Women's changing rooms are for women and their children, up to age 7 if male. Maybe you missed this because you have always swum at a beach and have never changed your clothing away from home when swimming. And live in a little bubble all your own.

NOT.CARING. doesn't mean you are entitled to disregard the global convention. You are a woman, ergo you use the changing room marked Women, along with your DS who is 2. When he is 7 he will use the Men's, alone.

And it's not smart or polite or reasonable to use the Men's loos when you're out either. Men are entitled to privacy or at least the exclusive presence of other men while peeing into a urinal. Leave yourself time to queue for the Women's loos just as millions of other women do.
If you genuinely have a pelvic floor that is not working, then go and get it fixed.

And after all the palaver about how different things are where you are from - one should really not think that because they are used to something happening one way it can't happen any other way..
Priceless!

Just stumbled upon this in the grips of insomnia....

Wow.

My first thought is that the man in question displayed his hairy bum given he wasn't inclined to display his root and two veg at the creepy woman hanging around in the male changing facilities...

Single sex spaces are important and should be respected. It doesn't matter if they are empty or less frequently used. Imagine in reverse a woman entering a female changing room to find a fully dressed Male just sitting there? Creepy.

OP honestly, it's been a gas, but you're either utterly clueless or trolling.

out of the cubicle I am typing too fast as usual!

It would be quite funny if a poster came here and asked if AIBU for not liking the fact there was a woman sitting for 30 minutes in the men’s changeroom!

@Penelopeschat

I am surprised the man with the hairy butt didn't complain about her loitering in the men's changing room ... I honestly think some men like women to look at their equipment even when we find it unattractive. I have had a few dick pictures sent to me on chat sites when I didn't request them or even flirt with the men in question. I don't think they would not of sent me them if they knew I was an older woman

Joining in the fun now...this has given everyone in my household an insight into the workings of the minds of some others.

My husband and adult son both said exactly the same thing as I thought when they read this in astonishment. Random woman relaxing in mens toilets...my husband would have Bern very embarrassed and freaked out, but if she was sitting there with an indignant right to he there he would have given her a flash of his bum for sure. My son concurred. They both said they would suspect you were a locker thief in the usually unattended changing rooms and would have reported you.
I wondered what you would have done, in a ladies changing room, for example, in M&S bra fitting and had a man plonk himself there and you were trapped without a door,(because you couldnt close it with your sleeping 2 year old in his buggy and other child also with you) pretty much naked? I'm guessing this may not have gone down terribly well....check out the Bravisdimo thread. This could happen to you soon!!

Men's toilets are usually empty...

Given you don’t know what empty means, I’m guessing you’ll happily use the men’s toilets when there are two or three men standing at the urinals.

I honestly can’t tell whether you’re trolling or just absolutely detached from reality.

@GlamGiraffe

I am always seeing men (husbands) sitting outside changing rooms in dress shops waiting for their wives to stop trying on dresses. I never ever take my husband with me shopping he would be bored to tears. Besides he has no idea what looks good on me because one Christmas he got me dressing gown that my old Grannie would wear.

@VenellaVelour

I can assure you this one was empty whereas the ladies had a queue ... I am not trolling are you?

Ooops! sorry I got your name wrong Fenella ... it is similar to someone on another site.

Learn something new everyday. I thought this was the equivalent to taking a male child to use a male restroom

Hah! OP is from NZ. Popular, English-speaking, and I can assure everyone, nice and warm right now .

And in NZ it's appropriate for a mother to take her son into the men's toilets, ditto fathers & daughters, leastways it was when my children were younger.