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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

892 replies

pinkboa · 26/11/2019 22:57

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:14

@ItsGoingTibiaK
Well humour like beauty is a subjective concept though, isn't it?

So in this case because YOU deemed my responses unfunny and unbecoming of a woman.. YOU have taken offence to them... oh do carry on!

I see people coming in with the same old rhetoric... 🤣... people just don't bother reading do they..

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 27/11/2019 15:16

What happens at 7 if he is in there by himself and is uncomfortable? Would that be a fault of mine...

If your 7yr old is uncomfortable at the sight of someone get changed then yes it absolutely IS your fault for not raising him with an understanding that the human body is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

I spent the first half of the thread feeling a bit sorry for you OP as there seemed to have been some kind of cultural misunderstanding, but the more I read your updates the more I realise that you're just an entitled CF.

You should've gone back to your car if you didn't want to wait poolside or in the female change room. Your stubborn refusal (several times on this thread) to do so does not trump the rights of men to use the me s changing room as they are intended to be used.

LakieLady · 27/11/2019 15:16

I didn't know you went with the parents sex. I thought you went to the room that corresponds with the sex of the child.

Grin Even I know that, and I'm not a parent!

Still, at least you know now, OP.

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:20

@Ravingstarfish

They don't seem to have difficulties... and this is my assumption as again I wouldn't know.
But by the consensus on here they shouldn't be in there... nobody provided caveats. You might have missed those bits.

@my2bundles
They said here 7 was when they should be going in on their own.. so you would have been in the wrong as well. 🤷🏽‍♀️ the room was empty.. he came and saw me there .. did you read that or just deliberately omitted it in your response.

@Ohyesiam
Some might find it attractive I don't... what's the issue?

OP posts:
ItsGoingTibiaK · 27/11/2019 15:22

@pinkboa

Where have I said or even slightly implied that your responses are either offensive or unbecoming of a woman? They're just not funny. I do wish you would read with the intention of comprehending.

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:23

@FrangipaniBlue

My stubborn refusal to go back to my car?
You do know this happened on Monday right? Monday when it was pissing down, like today.

Man if Only I could turn back time!!!! Cursed am I to not have time warping powers! Ugh!

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:26

@ItsGoingTibiaK

Read your own advice. Good day now.

OP posts:
my2bundles · 27/11/2019 15:26

Actually the cut off age at our pool is 10. There's no way on earth I would allow a 7 year old into a male changing room alone esp as you have demonsrated here anyone could be in there watching people change.

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:26

@LakieLady

Well only way to learn is by asking questions. I am enlightened.

OP posts:
Ravingstarfish · 27/11/2019 15:27

They don't seem to have difficulties

As you said, you wouldn’t know.
My son can come across as fine when he’s with me, prepared and calm.
Left on his own in the make changing room would be a different story entirely.
Also children are all different but most pools say age 8 is when they should be in their own changing room but only a parent can understand their own child’s needs. Some will be fine at 6 some will need help at 12.

my2bundles · 27/11/2019 15:28

The room was empty. It was a male changing room, you where wrong the end.

Winesalot · 27/11/2019 15:29

@pinkboa

Never what OP? Seen naked women in female changing rooms in Australia? Or just at the beach?

Maybe you have been to quiet places? Seems common practice in Queensland and NSW beaches where there is a common female area. Some have unisex cubicles of course if they have new facilities. And the Sydney Gyms I went to had lots of naked women getting changed after a session . And to all the public pools up and down the coast I have gone to. The ones we took our DC to did not have unisex facilities and yes, women got changed in front of other people’s kids.

Where did you go that you did not encounter this?

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:38

@Winesalot
I didn't grow up in Australia.
I went to one outdoor swimming pool... once.
I'd often go to the beach. Perth. And it was usually early mornings before The sun got too hot.
So I have never. As I said I'm no prude about nudity... I've been to nude beaches...again no children.

Didn't do swimming in school or go to a school where you showered after P.E. So it's not something I have experienced so I didn't know it is the norm.

@Ravingstarfish
The point is I didn't care the boys were in there, they are children. People in the replies have said 7 is the cut off age... not me.

@my2bundles

Still droning on then eh?

OP posts:
Crystal87 · 27/11/2019 15:40

Why on earth is it acceptable for you to be in the men's changing room? The dad did nothing wrong. You on the other hand were entirely inappropriate.

Teachermaths · 27/11/2019 15:42

OP your hypocrisy is insane. You will get your child changed in a male changing room but your husband won't take your child to a male toilet block. Instead you use the disabled toilet Shock

FrangipaniBlue · 27/11/2019 15:44

My stubborn refusal to go back to my car?
You do know this happened on Monday right? Monday when it was pissing down, like today.

and there you go proving my point about the entitled behaviour!

It's rain, unless you are the Wicked Witch of the West you won't melt.

PilatesHippo · 27/11/2019 15:48

I am a bit confused as to why you stayed (and kept trying to avoid looking at his hairy bum)?

I feel so sorry for the poor man. He probably tried to hide his pen is from you.

I had a similar situation, a man coming into the women’s changing room to change his girls (probably wanted to spare them the sight of other naked men). I needed to change as it was a baby swim and I am afraid I just told him that I was uncomfortable with him there as I was about to get naked (no cubicles) and could he please get lost. He did leave, but judging by his horrified look I think he would have left anyway at the first sign of me starting to take my kit off Grin.

PilatesHippo · 27/11/2019 15:49

*penis (stupid autocorrect)

Winesalot · 27/11/2019 15:50

Ok @pinkboa. I think I can see why you might have not encountered it at the beach in Australia then. Particularly, if you grew up near the beach on a tropical island and were more familiar with changing kids on the beach.

BoxOfBabyCheeses · 27/11/2019 15:50

@pinkboa does your husband take your daughter swimming? If he doesn't now, but will in the future what changing room will he use?

my2bundles · 27/11/2019 15:52

Typical responses from someone who knows they are wrong but to pig headed to admit it.

CaptainCaveMum · 27/11/2019 15:53

OP I find it very strange that you have a sophisticated understanding of language such that you can use the phrase ‘subjective concept’ but cannot understand the basic social mores of the country you live in.
Guess there are some schools off this week.

Original poster
pinkboa · 27/11/2019 15:56

@FrangipaniBlue

I am!

I'm already inside... I am NOT going outside once again... not happening. I'd like to know which individual would walk back outside with a child in the rain to go sit and wait to do the same walk again in the rain... I'd have done it 4 times... no thanks. I'm entitled to not get wet. My choice of waiting is worthy of criticism... my refusal to trek back to my car is not. But, if you were ok with doing that, then good on you! I'll take my entitlement. 🥇.

@Teachermaths

Did you even read it? WTH.

@Crystal87
Wow, something new!

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 27/11/2019 16:02

Someone who is not self entitled and instead considerate of others.

You didn't want to sit in a busy female change room.

You didn't want to walk back to your car in the rain.

So instead you sat in the MENS changing room and then got affronted when a man, good lord, got changed in front of your child.

FFS I've heard it all.

Teachermaths · 27/11/2019 16:04

Yes I have read the thread.

You take your child into a male changing room (as an adult female).

Your husband won't take a 2yo into a male toilet block, instead he uses the disabled toilet.

Why do you think that is OK?

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